Update: Tuesday July 14th

Well, as usual, after all that anticipation and concern all weekend and yesterday, no conclusive answers, just more questions.

I was the last patient today. All of the office staff less one person was gone and the lights were turned out mostly. Taken to a patient room and was asked to lay down while I waited for my doctor. By then, was totally convinced I was going to get slammed with really, really bad news.

Bottom line, the simple CT done of my kidneys did not show any kind of blockage or obstructions. Dr. wasn't happy that the NP had ordered this particular test. Now they say this. He wants a thorough multi-contrasted CT and possible MRI done of both kidneys, ureters, pancreas, and bladder. Said he wants to see the inside linings of all those parts, because something has to be causing the internal bleeding via my stoma/conduit, and something has to be causing the deep and steady pain on my lower right side. Gee, only been complaining about this for over a year.

They took some blood for some very kidney related tests, that he says will have results tomorrow. New scan will be set up probably before this week is out. He's not ruling anything in or out at this point.

Sure been nice if late last week, that they had indicated that they didn't have enough data to have a diagnosis, instead of making it seem like a doom and gloom situation from the start. He kind of apologized for that, and said who ever called me should have made that clear. I told him it was kind of a cruel act really, considering this is how he presented my original PC diagnosis with a last in the day appointment, etc.

Sure wish people could be more sensitive to how a patient may or may not react to news on their health conditions.

When I told him I was still having painful bladder spasms even 5 years post stoma surgery, he didn't even answer me. I wanted to say, why didn't you remove my burned bladder when you had the chance? But I didn't. Was too angry, tired, and frustrated at that point.

So now I have to sit around and wait some more...story of my life. Giving up is starting to seem like a good option to me, just let nature run its course, its not worth the effort to keep trying anymore.

So very sorry that this doctor did this to you, I agree with Browntrout I get inspiration from you and you have really been so very helpful. You have my continued prayers, please don't give up...we care about you.
Many more prayers..

David:

First off, happy belated birthday. I'm sorry I didn't manage to get on here Monday to wish you it on time. I was laid up in bed with a fever of 101.5.

I'm really sorry that your Dr allowed is people to do this to you. There is nothing worse than thinking that the other shoe is going to drop and you're going to hear the worst news. (((hugs))) I know how hard things have been for you and the suffering you've put up with over the past 5 years. It's so overwhelming at times, most people don't get it.

You have so much going on and you are a "complex"" patient like me. My surgeon recently informed me that "I'm a walking medical nightmare" for them. Gee, thanks Doc love you too.

David you bring a lot hope to the folks here. You always show your humor, wit, and never ending will to keep going. You encourage all who read your posts. Don't think that the folks here don't care about you. We all wish that your pain would go away, but that's not likely, however, we'd love to see it lessen.

I know your feelings of wanting to just give up. I'm fighting mine so bad right now. We made a pack though and I'm sticking to my end, even though, I truly don't want to anymore. You need to keep your side of this pack. I know it's hard every second of every day to keep putting what little energy we have into staying alive. We both have families that want us around still.

David, please keep fighting and know that I'm here fighting too. We both have each other to support. Hang tough David, we will be rewarded in the long wrong for all the suffering we've gone through. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. I believe you still have my email and I'm available for Skype if you want to talk. I also have an iPhone that I can do Facetime too.

I'll be watching for your updates. Know that you're NOT alone in this journey you have many folks who care. I'm walking with you too in this long hard journey. I hope today is a low pain day for you and I pray that you are comfortable today. Will write to you again soon.

Love,
Barbara

David, as always, you're in my daily prayers.

Peace,
Andrew

Unanswered questions--"kept in the dark" ---more sensitive--- angry--tired---frustrated I wonder if our doctors ever feel that way.  If they did could they maybe help us with feelings and emotions along with physical problems. Just asking  Carol

Prayers
For peace & some pain free time

And, on your behalf, frustration & anger...
Wondering how many of these health care would be satisfied if a family member/loved one was being treated /NOT treated as you have been.
Annd continue to be treated.

So many appreciate your input, including me.

Hi David, we are very concerned and saddened to hear the latest news. I am so sorry. I hope you are comfortable and without much pain. *HUGS*

Never give up...you are an inspiration to so many here!!!

Lynn, thanks for posting this. Haven't been lurking, let alone posting here.

Been through additional layers of hell since I last posted here. The night of the 14th, I started becoming weak and ill like never before. Was getting severe stomach aches, extreme nausea, etc. I toughed it out for days, first thinking I was having a stomach flu or bug, even thought of food poisoning.

On the afternoon of July 18th, went to a small local ER for about 6 hours, they ran various tests, but sent me home without a full or proper dx.

By Monday the 21st, was very bad off. Couldn't keep my eye lids open more than a few seconds at the time, even to walk across the room took extreme effort. My ex-boss that evening was about to force me to the ER, but I talked him out of it. Later, my youngest son and his wife tried to sit with me, and get me to go. Later that night, when my wife got in, we decided to see how I was by sunrise.

I was much worse, so went to the Hospital, and was admitted with a severe lower intestinal blockage. Was in the hospital for 4 days with a stomach tube, to give my digestive system a break. At one point, they talked about doing extreme emergency surgery, but after 3 days, thought I had passed the danger point.

Been home recovering ever since. Some days are better than others, its a slow and painful recovery. My kidney CT was postponed until this morning. Had it done, they didn't see anything to cause all the bleeding but feel somehow its all related to the intestinal side. Kind of hard to say. Right now, its a wait and watch situation, hoping I slowly improve. Haven't lost any more weight, but can't even gain .1 of a pound. Stalemate.

Pray for me, is all I can ask. There are more rooms in this hell on earth than I ever possibly imagined before now. Just when I think I have taken all the pain I can endure, I have to endure even more. Makes my "normal" pain look like nothing. Not giving up, just extremely discouraged at the moment.

Thank you, sorry for not being able to post something sooner, didn't mean to make anyone worry, you know I don't believe in worry. It never helps.

D.

David - You're always in my prayers,
Andrew

Thank you for the update, David. Somehow I felt something wasn't right. I pray your pain lessens soon.

P
Thnx for updates.. keeping you in prayer.