Is thinking "things could be worse" helpful to you?
yes, it is - 31.8% - 7 votes
yes, but only to a degree - 40.9% - 9 votes
it depends on what the "worse" is - 9.1% - 2 votes
no, it isn't - 18.2% - 4 votes
For me, PCa IS the worst - 0.0% - 0 votes
Posted 9/28/2015 7:33 AM (GMT -6)
We've all heard that phrase Well things could be worse, usually uttered as an attempt to elevate one's mood, a mood that has become pretty depressed in view of one's current situation.
But how effective a coping mechanism is it, really? If used, does it really make any of us feel any better, to contemplate something even more difficult than our present circumstances, and then somehow draw comfort from the fact that we really are not (we suppose) as bad off as cousin Joe, who slipped on the ice and threw out his sacroiliac?
For an expression that's been around for ages, it gets a lot of use, but does it really help our psychological state of mind that much? Would it not be better just to accept our current condition without an attempt to make thing seem somehow better than they are by employing this kind of curious comparison to the worse situation of others, or to a potentially worse situation for ourselves?
Hence the above survey, to gauge feeling on just how much of a difference (if any) "could be worse" thinking does for people. Personally, I don't do it, as it has never picked me up to think I'm somehow going to feel better simply because it would be possible under slightly changed circumstances for me to be experiencing something so much worse than I am experiencing now.
However, maybe it does work for some people. Hey, whatever floats your boat. So whatever your take on this, please do vote in the survey above and then tell us why "could be worse" thinking works for you (or does not).
Should be an interesting discussion.
Posted 9/28/2015 8:38 AM (GMT -6)
I am early in this unfortunate journey of PC. I have always had a "the cup's half full" philosophy. So, even though I am a high risk pT3b guy, I do feel like things could be much worse and I do take comfort in that. I also have the attitude that if cancer is something that children can endure, surely so can I.
Posted 9/28/2015 9:33 AM (GMT -6)
One of my favorite books is Happiness is a Serious Problem, by Dennis Prager. A big takeaway for me is how important gratitude is towards a person being happy. It seems to me that "It could be worse" is a corollary to that thought. It is not that one should take pleasure in not being in less fortunate circumstances per se; frankly having expectations and making comparisons is more likely to be detrimental to being happy. But being grateful for the circumstances you are in and finding the opportunity to enjoy life can make you happier. Prager says it better and it is a very easy read.
It is time for me to go walk the dog now. We can't go as far as we used to, but it is a gorgeous day and I can't wait to see how he is going to enjoy sniffing at whatever he does find. It could be worse and someday maybe we won't be able to go at all, but today we are going out to have a great day.
Posted 9/28/2015 12:14 PM (GMT -6)
my brain hurts thinking about it.
It's bad enough as it is, don't like to think what could be worse.
Posted 9/28/2015 12:19 PM (GMT -6)
Yes, I think that had I not been diagnosed when I was and not had my prostate removed ... I could have faced far more serious consequences. I didn't flinch when I received the diagnosis and I haven't looked-back or second-guessed since. I could have been worse. Definitely.
Posted 9/28/2015 4:06 PM (GMT -6)
I look at it a bit differently. Not so much as to say 'it could be worse', if I'm looking at another person's issues. I look at someone who is dealing with a challenge and think, "there but by the grace of God go I". If things shifted a bit, I could be in that person's situation instead of my own. That, for me, is the beginning of compassion and the end of feeling superior.
I also go along with the practice of gratitude. My attitude towards what's happening makes a huge difference.
Posted 9/28/2015 6:19 PM (GMT -6)
One of my mates diagnosed with PC many years ago recounted to me the first comment by his doctor regarding his condition. Along the lines of "you did not buy this at the corner store".
Reading the posts on the forum and having many family members who have succumbed to different forms of cancer then it’s clear we all have to fight an individual battle. It seems to me there are no ground rules as in reality there are no lasting cures. We have our treatments, sometimes over many years with differing side effects for us all. Then comes the 3, 6 or 12 monthly PSA test and the thoughts of what happens next?
For me it is at times a lonely battle. Even with the most supportive partner (which I have) I always think it’s hard for none cancer patients to understand what truly goes through your mind. I find that when out for a run or walking the dog solitude brings reflection. It’s about taking each hurdle as it comes and enjoying life to the max.
The Forum provides a very valuable support mechanism (for me) as you can relate to pretty well all of the comments.
Posted 9/28/2015 7:28 PM (GMT -6)
I am smart enough to know that its easy to find people way worse off than me, but that remark, does nothing to help me deal with my own life and woes. It's a 24/7 thing with me, and I can only deal with one day at the time. I empathize with those in worse straights, I honestly do. You really have to be living in someone else's body to ever understand how and what they suffer.
Posted 9/28/2015 8:00 PM (GMT -6)
I've found a Stoic philosophy has helped me quite a bit. The philosophy does have a gratitude component but mostly it is just accepting and coming to peace with what is beyond our control. For anyone willing to explore this philosophy, "A Guide to the Good Life, The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" is a good primer. www.amazon.ca/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195374614
Posted 9/28/2015 11:53 PM (GMT -6)
One of Gary's favorite sayings is "These are the good ole days". No, he's not being sarcastic. He is grateful to have his life and most days he feels good. He also says "I can't complain" alot. Well, he could, but he doesn't.
We have a son who is battling depression and struggles daily. Gary said he wouldn't trade places with him, even with the PCa. Then we had a good laugh when he said he wouldn't mind having the son's young, healthy, strong body transplanted below his own head
Posted 9/29/2015 5:36 AM (GMT -6)
I like to think of myself as a "It is what it is" kind of guy with a dash of "things could be worse."
And if all else fails:
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."