Alden, I feel ya, man!
What i mean to say, is i am mentally, exactly where you are. I'm almost a year out of surgery, and am here regularly (except the last 10 days, as i was away on vacation). There have been many times that i feel that maybe, just maybe, i shouldn't be here any more, because the crap i read makes me nervous. I was the reverse of you, a G6 on biopsy, upgraded to a (3+4) after surgery. And i see soooo many 3+4 guys posting here about
BCR. And yeah, it makes me nervous.
But the reality is, as was mentioned in an earlier post, that its the guys that have issues that tend to post here, so this population is not typical. And i look at the MSKCC Nomograms and see that my chance of BCR in 10 years is 1 in 10.
So i try not to focus on the stuff i read that upsets me
Instead, i think of guys i've met here, face to face, who have enriched my life. And of the guys that i believe i have helped here, who have arrived after me. So i stick around. Because i dont know any other way
We will all live, after diagnosis, with the fear of recurrence. Its part of the game, and the price we all pay for still being cancer free.