Welcome to the forum. Sorry you needed to look for us but glad you found us. Hope we can help.
It is quite common for one's various parts to hurt when defecating during the several months after surgery and it usually doesn't mean anything. The sensory nerves tend to be irritated by the surgery and one feels the pain where the nerves end. This is called "referred pain
" and a pain felt at the end of one's member is a classic after prostate surgery.
Stool softeners are your friend. That might be something to talk to your primary care doc about
but feel free to complain to your surgeon* as well -- that's why he gets paid the big bucks.
*more likely you will talk to his nurse