In this thread from last March:www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=35&m=3605897
you asked:"I have persevered in my fight against the beast. The fight goes on. For now there is peace. The beast is quiet. Again!!! Why? What is it that allows one to do well and another to fall? The answer eludes me."
At that time my response to you was:"Todd, you wondered also in your post why you thought you were being spared while so many other fine men were being taken down by this disease. It's a question, in general, that mankind has been asking itself since the beginning of time. Why me? Or why not me?. It's a question that most of us here have probably asked ourselves at one time or another.
Well, maybe, just maybe, the reason why you are still here is just what I have been talking about, that your case is to be a source of inspiration and hope, for others to know and be inspired by. Your stats cry out to others: "See what this man has done, despite such poor prognosis? Well, perhaps you can do it too, regardless of how bad things may look!"
Perhaps that really is your destiny, why you are still here, to show others by the example of your case that there is indeed hope for them as well, and you are fulfilling that very destiny, just by being here."
My words were true then and they still are. Your purpose in life now, so I believe, is not to weld pieces of metal together, which you do just to get money for living in this world. No, your purpose now is to inspire and encourage others by your example of "roaring back" when things looked bleak. Your example of being down on the canvas, and the referee was saying "seven…eight...nine," and then you sprang up and dashed across the ring and started pounding the daylights out of the beast, who was likely stunned by your response. And you keep pounding away at him. Rocky Balboa's got nothing on you.
So at the times when it all seems confusing, and wearying, just remember: you're doing now what you were meant to do.