Wow...very sorry to hear about
your diagnosis. I know this can be shattering to hear, but I'm also a G9 guy in his 50s and I'm doing very well 4+ years later, so please don't despair. (And for the record I never had ED...)
First thing is to get the results of your husband's scans. If they're clear (and I bet they will be with his PSA) that means there's a good chance the cancer is local and you have a shot at wiping it all out.
If the scans are clear, as for treatment, your uro is right that there's basically two tracks: surgery and radiation--you should really investigate both. For surgery, you want to choose the very best, experienced doc you can find. Let us know where you are and we can probably provide some recommendations. Just know with surgery that a G9 your husband would be likely to need radiation as a back-up treatment anyway.
Radiation is a bit more complex since there are several types. Often for high risk guys they'll use two types of radiation--I had a combo approach of HDR brachytherapy and IMRT. There's data showing that to be one of the most effective combos for high risk diagnoses.
Lastly, we come to hormone therapy, which is generally recommended in conjunction with radiation in high risk cases. It reduces your testosterone to zero and generally quickly stops the cancer in its tracks. It also makes radiation more effective. Unfortunately, it has some significant side effects including complete loss of libido for most guys (although not ED). I had 18 months of HT, which seems to be the most common length nowadays, although some guys have longer sentences.
I think it's great that you're advocating for your husband since there's a lot to learn and it will take a while for everything to start to make sense. We can be a helpful group here, so I hope we can help you through that journey. Good luck to you both!
Age 56, Diagnosed at 51
PSA 9.6, Gleason: 9 (5+4), three 7s (3+4)
Chose triple play of HDR brachy, IMRT and HT (Casodex, Lupron and Zytiga)
Completed HT (18 months) in April 2014
11/16: T = 111, PSA = 0.18
Post Edited (Michael_T) : 2/4/2017 11:03:24 AM (GMT-7)