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InTheShop
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 7898
   Posted 11/6/2017 7:47 AM (GMT -7)   
While not directly related to PC, this is one that's been on my mind all week.
-----------------
Supplies

Spirit Kitty is seventeen.
Her occupation is chasing sunny spots
to warm her arthritic bones.
Her once shiny sable coat now is sparse
over her fragile frame.

My workday done, the car turns towards
the vet’s office,
and medications to bring sunshine
to Spirit’s failing body.

Cats caged, dogs leashed, people wait.
Comfort exchanged, fear acknowledged,
person and pet wait for the call at the open door.
At the desk, I laugh with the assistant,
exchange humor, and receive the bag.

A door opens.
A boy walks out hugging a half empty bag of dog food.
A women follows, wiping tears.
Last out, a man holding a leash and empty collar.

Silence falls as the solemn procession
walks through the door
I'll be in the shop.
Age 57, 52 at DX
PSA:
4.2 10/11, 1.9 6/12, 1.2 12/12, 1.0 5/13, .6 11/13,
.7 5/14, .5 10/14, .5 4/15, .3 10/15, .3 4/16, .4 10/16, .4 5/17, .3 10/17
G 3+4
Stage T1C
2 out of 14 cores positive
Treatment IGRT - 2/2012
My latest blog post

81GyGuy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2012
Total Posts : 2068
   Posted 11/6/2017 8:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Andrew -

This poem wonderfully captures the sad world of, when the time comes, saying that final goodbye to a pet we have kept and loved.

I suspect that almost all of us had had that mournful experience at some point, and you have done a fine job of capturing the tragic aura that goes with it.

In particular, the stanza

A door opens.
A boy walks out hugging a half empty bag of dog food.
A women follows, wiping tears.
Last out, a man holding a leash and empty collar.

is especially poignant, because of the painful emptiness that it conveys, conveyed through the image of now purposeless things, the half-empty food bag, the empty collar, indicators of the hole that now resides in the hearts of those people.

And then

Silence falls as he solemn procession
walks through the door.

Not only silence on the part of the others in the waiting room, bit also silence in us, the readers, as we reflect upon the family's grief.

A poem can dwell in sadness, but still touch the heart, as this one does very well.
Age: 71
Chronic prostatitis (age 60 on)
BPH w/ urinary obstruction, 6/2011
TURP, 7/2011
Ongoing high PSA, 7/2011-12/2011
Biopsy, 12/2011: positive 3/12 (90%, 70%, 5%)
Gleason 6(3+3), T1c
No mets, PCa likely still organ contained
IMRT w/ HT (Lupron), 4/2012-6/2012
PSAs (since post-IMRT): 0.1 or lower

Wings of Eagles
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2013
Total Posts : 608
   Posted 11/6/2017 10:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Andrew,
Thanks for that poem, as a pet lover and having had many pets pass on, I really felt it.
Also I think that poem does touch on those of us with PC, the need to appreciate the present, and those around us,including pets, because we are not guaranteed the future with them.
Wings aka Dan In sunny So Cal
DX PCa-Nov/2012,age 57=GS 3+4=7 & 4+3=7 w/mets PSA=71.2 start Lupron PSA=,

1/13=2.7 2/13=0.7 3/13=0.2 6 /13=0.1
9/ 13=0.7 11/13=1.4 12/13=2.7 4/14=2.7
6/14=3.8 8/14=5.2
Start Zytiga:
9/14=1.4 11/14=<0.06 12/14=<0.06 1/15=<0.06 3/15=<0.06 6/15=<0.06
9/15=<0.06 12/15=<0.06 3/16=<0.06 6/16=<0.06 9/16=<0.06 12/16=<0.06
3/17=<0.06 8/17=<0.06

alephnull
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2013
Total Posts : 703
   Posted 11/6/2017 11:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Oomph!! Right in my heart!

Having had probably 20 or so pets over the last 25 years, this really hits the mark!!
All have aged out but the last two.

I now have a 6 year old Chi mix who is my world, beyond anything the others ever affected me like before.
I'm sure that has to do with my dealing with my own mortality.

Thanks for the poem!!!
PSA at diagnosis 20.6, age 54 in 2013, 12 out of 12 cores positive
My PSA Curve
Robotic prostatectomy 11/2013, all positive except bladder neck invasion
Degarelix two months, 2 years Lupron, Radiation after 18 months
GS 9 - 4+5 , Stage pT3b N1 M1c - Undetctable 41 months
PSA rise <0.1 to 0.18 to .71, last rise in 4 months
Csodex n Lupron

InTheShop
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 7898
   Posted 11/6/2017 2:28 PM (GMT -7)   
81 - thanks for your thoughtful words. The core image I had was the empty collar followed by the boy with the half a bag of dog food.

Dan - if you extend the metaphor, you can find parallels in the PC/human world.

alephnull - at the moment I have five cats. They're great company and members of the family. The poem is about loss. Extending the image and feeling, there are people we know who's loss will touch us deeply too.
I'll be in the shop.
Age 57, 52 at DX
PSA:
4.2 10/11, 1.9 6/12, 1.2 12/12, 1.0 5/13, .6 11/13,
.7 5/14, .5 10/14, .5 4/15, .3 10/15, .3 4/16, .4 10/16, .4 5/17, .3 10/17
G 3+4
Stage T1C
2 out of 14 cores positive
Treatment IGRT - 2/2012
My latest blog post

three 5's and a jack
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2017
Total Posts : 162
   Posted 11/6/2017 5:34 PM (GMT -7)   
My best friend just had to put his 14 1/4 year old puppy down. I don't know who cried more........him or me.

May all beings and I mean ALL BEINGS be well.

Roger

Thank you In The Shop
Looking for the 4th 5
69yo weight 7/1-283# on 10/17 216# projected 200# by treatment time
PSA 6.01 6/17 & 6.07 on 10/11/17
BX 8/04/17 DX 8/11/17 5/16 cores positive all on left
L mid/base 4/6 4+3=7 25%
L apex 1/2 3+4=7 30%
Sec opinion from UofW same GS7 but called overall 3+4=7
Markers and scans Dec 7/8 SBRT Dec 11-15 Swedish in Seattle Dr. Robert Meier

SueCAll
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2015
Total Posts : 236
   Posted 11/7/2017 2:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Great poem, Andrew. Really enjoy your writing. You really captured the emotions surrounding those sad circumstances. As a huge dog lover, I can totally relate. We had to say goodbye to our sweet Allie after 15 years right in the middle of my husband's diagnosis in 2015. We have another dog and will continue to love and have them as long as we live. They keep us young, keep us moving and keep us laughing. Thanks for sharing! Sue

mr bill
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 11/7/2017 2:14 PM (GMT -7)   
This is something I find to be especially poignant. Especially when dealing with Gleason 9.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Tim G
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2226
   Posted 11/7/2017 6:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Well written, Sir. As one who has walked out holding a leash and an empty collar a number of times, the poem resonates deeply with me.

InTheShop
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 7898
   Posted 11/7/2017 10:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for all the kind words on the poem.

It was just one of those that just needed to be written.

Peace,
Andrew
I'll be in the shop.
Age 57, 52 at DX
PSA:
4.2 10/11, 1.9 6/12, 1.2 12/12, 1.0 5/13, .6 11/13,
.7 5/14, .5 10/14, .5 4/15, .3 10/15, .3 4/16, .4 10/16, .4 5/17, .3 10/17
G 3+4
Stage T1C
2 out of 14 cores positive
Treatment IGRT - 2/2012
My latest blog post

Jaybee&GG
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2016
Total Posts : 248
   Posted 11/10/2017 5:38 PM (GMT -7)   
I've come in a bit late to this one, having been buried in work for what feels like months (but in reality is only weeks). What a beautiful poem Andrew. Thank you so much for sharing it with us all. Our little doggie passed away some years back, after giving us fifteen and a half years of pure, unrivalled joy and love. After he left us, we were so heartbroken, we've just never been able to bring ourselves to get another one. Hence your poem having a deeply profound effect on me when I read it.
Have a great weekend.
Jaybee
Dx May 2016 age 57. PSA 23.4
DaVinci RARP 1 July 2016
G 4(50%)+3 = 7 (Grade group 3)
Large TZ Tumour (apex to base) = 10% of prostate
pT2c N0
PNI- EPE- SVI-
Lymph invasion (x 8) not identified. No positive margins.
PSA's to June 2017 = <0.01
28 June 2017 = 0.01

Gleason 6
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 874
   Posted 11/14/2017 12:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Very nicely put. Especially reliant, as I have an appointment for Saturday to put our 16 year old dog down. Doing it Saturday so the family can be there. Still having second thoughts. She is not suffering as long as we use the pain meds, but I took her to the beach yesterday and although she was not sad, I was, as I watched her limp along and try to eat whatever she could find. Sad to remember her running after balls and having fun. She still likes to be petted and eat, but not much else good in her life. Lately she is losing control of her bodily functions. Just so hard to go through with the decision to end another's life.
Click here for My Journey from diagnosis to decision to have seeds
Age 61
PSA 4.3 9/10
PSA 6.73 5/18/11
Biopsy G6(3+3)
Stage T1Cn
8/5/11 87 I-125 seeds.
PSA 6 mo 3.9 2/12
9 mo- 3.2 5/12
11 mo 3.0 6/12
13 mo 2.9 8/12
20 mo- 2.1 3/13
22 mo 2.7 5/13
2.6 9/13
2.8 4/14
2.5 7/14
1.1 11/14
4 yrs 1.0 7/15
0.5 10/15
0.3 9/16
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