Last week (Wed or Thurs) marked two years since my RP, so either yesterday or today - after Labor Day weekend, was also the second anniversary of learning about
my SVI and the need for followup radiation. Those of you who know me or follow my story know that everything became very complicated. The AUS, ADT and ART all introduced significant life changes.
I'll add another "A": Aug... I hate
August. No offense to anyone whose B'day was last month. It was Aug 2005 that a truck put me in a hospital bed for three months, and still affects my mobility to this day. When I read others recommendations about
walking and exercise I have to just keep quiet.
Other Augusts over the years bring with them other bad memories... too many to revisit here and in my mind. In August of last year I had just started adjuvant radiation when I began to experience significant SE's the second week. These are still with me to some extent. And just last month I also learned that I now have a another new cancer.
Point being that prostate cancer has suddenly become a lot less important. I try to read the same message boards but find myself easily overwhelmed, as I am also trying to simultaneously learn as much as I can about
carcinoid neuroendocrine tumors, withdrawal from SNRI's, and steroid induced adrenal insufficiency.
My last Uro visit two months ago we changed to six month checkups. I am fortunate that the PCa appears to be gone, at least for now. But I still have "issues" with my Uro over how things went, and where I had previously obsessed over what to do about
that, I now have this new problem to deal with. PCa has just dropped down a few notches on the priority stack.
Ken - Pratoman, I know you are probably reading this. I've been following your saga on every forum and I can't believe what you are subjecting yourself to by being forced into every little spat, primarily here on HW. Personally I wouldn't be able to take it. I don't know how you do it.
Lately I find myself posting a lot less. I'm not "leaving in disgust" or anything like that. It's just that I can't take the grief and just say it's better that I simply not get involved.
We all - all of us - have much
bigger issues to worry about
than to lie awake at night obsessing over some remark that someone made. It is after all just the internet. We can just walk away from it (but then worry that we've hurt someone's feelings).
I've mentioned before that carcinoid seems to be a niche disease with no traditional support forums, at least not that I've been able to find on any of the usual message boards. There are a few thousand people in closed groups on The Facebook, but that's another swamp entirely.Cancer changes lives,
and multiple cancers certainly changes one's outlook on life. I know there are others here who had other cancers before or after your PCa. And have spouses who have or have had cancer. To me this is starting to feel like some huge melodrama, and the next few weeks will be quite challenging.
Out of the skillet and into the fire, as they say. Thanks for reading.
2014-15: PSA's 9,12,20,25, Neg DRE's,false neg TRUS biopsy
6/16: MRI Fusion biopsy, 6+ Rt Base, 2x40%, 2x100% G8(4+4)
8/16: DaVinci RP, 3 foci EPE, PNI, 11 LN-, 53g 25%, BL SVI, pT3b
1/17: 18 months Lupron, PSA's ~.03
5/17: AMS800 implant, revised 6/17
8/17: 39 tx RapidArc IMRT (70 Gy)
4/18 Dx Radiation Colitis
8/18 Dx mesenteric mass assumed carcinoid
1/18, 4/18, 7/18: PSA's 0.0, T=9