Subdenis said "and most of the time I am alone with my thoughts about cancer."
I think this is what struck a cord with me in your original post. most of the time I am alone with my thoughts about cancer too. Its something that is with me every day. My wife is very supportive, but I try not to burden her too much about it. Knowing there is someplace to go and talk to those who've been through it helps. I'am not down like that all the time, just everyonce in awhile
When I read the replies on the other forum thinking you need professional help if your feeling down about things every once in awhile. Or worse saying in effect if you have intermediate risk cancer you dont really have cancer I lost my cool, and maybe i shouldnt have posted anything. I guess I hoped they would realise they were driving people away with their attitudes.
Jim, no offense, but cancer can be a very different experience for various people. As much as I like your signature, cancer CAN sometimes affect your mind, and your heart (and I suppose indirectly your soul). For some it is a bitter battle to the very end.
Just recently I was chatting with another gentleman about
Lupron. I told him about
my triple play, and asked if he'd had surgery or radiation. He said no, just Lupron. My response was, so it had already metastasized, and he just nodded his head. No further explanation was needed.
Another fellow might have been clueless about
the whole thing. Perhaps someone who had the intermediate grade you mentioned, and affirmations to "be strong" were enough to pull thru... maybe unaware of how deadly this disease can be. You are fortunate that your wife is so supportive. Mine described cancer as the loneliest place you'll ever know.
Everyone's experience with cancer is different. What worked for one person may not work for another. Please try to not hold it against anyone. I wish you good luck with your surgery.
2014-15: PSA's 9,12,20,25, Neg DRE's, false neg TRUS biopsy
6/16: MRI Fusion biopsy, 6+ Rt Base, 2x40%+2x100% G8(4+4)
8/16: DaVinci RP, 3 foci EPE, PNI, 11 LN-, 53g 25%, BL SVI, pT3b
1/17: 18 months Lupron, PSA's ~.03
5/17: AMS800 implant, revised 6/17
8/17: 39 tx RapidArc IMRT (70 Gy)
4/18 Dx Radiation Colitis
8/18 Dx mesenteric mass assumed carcinoid
1/18, 4/18, 7/18: PSA's 0.0, T=9