They mean well, and are just trying to encourage me, but they have no idea.
Such is the case with many cancers. Those who have never faced cancer have no idea what it's like, how it affects you. Gall bladders don't come back and threaten your life, again. Yes, there are SE's, and I'm sure other guys here also deal with multiple issues in addition to PCa, but it's different when it's something that can kill you.
I won't re-quote Redwing's excellent
post, only post the hitting-nail-on-head emoji if there were one.
My GP sent me to a Uro when my PSA kept rising. Same year as the USPSTF recommendations devalued PSA testing. My Uro basically kept my cancer a secret for around four years. I've told the story here many times. In a couple months from now it will be the fifth anniversary of my PSA reaching double digits and my first failed biopsy.
My wife and I have also both had cancer. Her symptoms started right around the time of my first successful biopsy. She was diagnosed with lymphoma just a few months after my prostatectomy, went thru chemo and was declared in full remission just before I got my AUS implant so that I could finally start adjuvant radiation.
Her cancer lasted less than a year, and mine has been going on for five.
There is a downside though. Many of the women she talks to assume that she had BC. They don't know what lymphoma is. When she explains that it is a blood cancer that had eaten away her spine they just get this bewildered look and change the subject.
When prostate cancer comes up, there are usually a number of other guys who just say, yeah, I had that. We may discuss treatments (usually ADT and brachy) but no support other than a nod. If hot flashes is mentioned then the women always say oh yeah I have those too. They have no idea what it's like.
So even the women can only see breast cancer. It's like some special club that only half of the population is allowed to join.
2014-15: PSA's 9, 12, 20, 25, Neg DRE's, false neg TRUS biopsy
6/16: MRI Fusion biopsy, 6 pos Rt Base, 2x40%+2x100% G8(4+4)
8/16: DaVinci RP, 3 foci EPE, PNI, 11 LN-, 53g, 25%, BL SVI, pT3b
1/17: 18 months Lupron, PSA's ~.03
5/17: AMS800 implant, revised 6/17
8/17: 39 tx RapidArc IMRT (70 Gy)
1/18, 4/18, 7/18: PSA's 0.0, T=9
4/18 Dx Radiation Colitis (PRD)
10/18 Tx Sclerosing Mesenteritis