What you are referring to is choice and mindfulness.
My mother was a felony-grade abuser, my earliest memories of are of her torturing me in various ways. My father chose to enable her.The abuse (mostly) ended when I moved out. I had PTSD, suicidal depressions and a temper like the Incredible Hulk. I was sure I would not live to see 30.
I chose to deal with that stuff as best I could and followed through. Now I am 68. I still have those issues, but I have decades of using "coping strategies" to handle them. Mindfulness meditation (as described on this sites front page) is key to getting a grip on the emotional aspects of this, as is 'being here, now', living 'in the moment' and appreciating what you have.
When the uro informed me that I had cancer, I was not shocked. He got concerned that I didn't get emotional, but there was no need. I did/does not make me happy, but - I am doing all that I can to handle it and that gives me a feeling of control.