Just my opinion: no favor telling a guy that “if he doesn’t get treated he will die in 3 years”, when 1, he hasn’t even had a biopsy yet and 2. The Uro has no way if knowing that.
If he wanted to get his attention, then “ whatever it is has escaped the capsule” would have been sufficient.
My father was initially told 5 yrs - and that was with treatment !
Maybe we're more upfront in Australia and that's why what your friend's uro said didn't bother me. And, he did add "without treatment". I still think that's a fair warning. Only the uro and your friend knows how bad "beyond the capsule is". Perhaps surrounding organs and structures are implicated by the mri, and uro didn't want your friend avoiding any action for several months. Like I said, maybe there's a cultural difference between here and with you guys. Dunno.
Anyway, your friend's decision as it's his body. It's always our responsibility in the end (to make the decisions that affect us) He can ignore uro if he doesn't like his words or manner and he can go for another Uro, or take no action.