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The Last Mile

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Prostate Cancer
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bethiestuff
New Member
Joined : Jan 2017
Posts : 13
Posted 11/6/2019 11:20 AM (GMT -6)
Thanks mattam....Yes he knows and if he hasn't felt up to reading or posting I still check in daily to let him know how everyone's doing. I have been an avid creeper and silent support to all of you over the last (3) years. My brother is very clinical so in order to be able to have conversations with him about PC I've spent numerous hours reading everyone's stories. You are all amazing and have been there from the beginning sharing the victories and defeats of PC. We are grateful to all of you. The clinical trials introduced to him from current and past posters gave us more time and that's all we could have asked for from the onset. Best wishes for a cure...Beth
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Dogdays
Regular Member
Joined : Jan 2017
Posts : 309
Posted 11/6/2019 12:17 PM (GMT -6)
Beth,
Thank you for being your brothers voice at this time. Sending prayers his way and also to your family.
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Tudpock18
Forum Moderator
Joined : Sep 2008
Posts : 4992
Posted 11/6/2019 12:36 PM (GMT -6)
Beth, thank you so much for keeping us up to date on Rocky's situation. Please let him know that he is loved and admired by members of this forum and he is in our thoughts and prayers as are you and the rest of his family.

Jim
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bethiestuff
New Member
Joined : Jan 2017
Posts : 13
Posted 11/12/2019 10:48 AM (GMT -6)
Pain medication was increased yesterday. He has air in his breath when speaking and my phone call this morning was brief. I remember him saying he didn't want to take pain meds to the point of not being able to enjoy the company of his wife and children. My hope is he is still able to have those moments of coherency. He is no longer taking in nutrition and limited liquids. I feel like every call may be the last but am not brave enough to ask anyone but him. That may sound strange...that it would be easier to ask someone else...but he has always been honest about where he's at with this thing. He says "seems so". Most importantly he knows he is loved. How incredibly brave he is. Beth
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garyi
Veteran Member
Joined : Jun 2017
Posts : 2100
Posted 11/12/2019 11:58 AM (GMT -6)

bethiestuff said...
....Most importantly he knows he is loved. How incredibly brave he is. Beth

That, Beth, is IMO, the most important aspect of his journey. Honest with himself, brave, without self pity, and enjoying the love of those close to him.

Most of the men on Healing Well either have advanced cases of PCa, or mild cases of PCa but with serious concerns with their mortality. Where we fit on that scale regularly changes. Upwards of 15% of PCa patients die from it. We might never know how many here do, since they either stop posting or only lurked in the first place.

May I, and the rest of us, take a lesson from the selfless courage and integrity Rocky has displayed throughout his journey. God keep and bless all of you.
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Howard3569
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2014
Posts : 579
Posted 11/12/2019 12:01 PM (GMT -6)
Thank you.
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mattam
Veteran Member
Joined : Aug 2015
Posts : 3095
Posted 11/12/2019 1:01 PM (GMT -6)
“May I, and the rest of us, take a lesson from the selfless courage and integrity Rocky has displayed throughout his journey.“

👍👍👍
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GoBucks
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2018
Posts : 1043
Posted 11/15/2019 12:50 PM (GMT -6)
Over 3400 views. This post deserves to stay on page 1. G-d bless Rockyfords.
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Skypilot56
Veteran Member
Joined : Mar 2017
Posts : 1431
Posted 11/15/2019 3:52 PM (GMT -6)
I have to go to a funeral tomorrow for a good friend that lost his battle with a blood cancer younger then me It's gonna be really really hard to go. Like Rocky he put up a great fight and then when the time came went home with hospice. I only hope that if my life journey goes the same as these guys in many many years is that I can portray some of the courage and dignity that these gentlemen have shown! They are true heroes!!

Larry
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2019Guy
Regular Member
Joined : Jan 2019
Posts : 430
Posted 11/15/2019 4:53 PM (GMT -6)
I'm just seeing this and it's moved me more than anything I've read in years. darn, what a hero Rocky is. I'm so glad he's finding peace, and he is clearly beloved not just by his real family but by all of his online family here.

Rocky, you're the best of the best.
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bbqdude
Regular Member
Joined : Sep 2018
Posts : 148
Posted 11/15/2019 8:50 PM (GMT -6)
I never thought when I got on here tonight I would be crying before I signed off.

I know this story from my dad's journey with bladder cancer. Hospice was a Godsend for him and my mom. Your post reminded me of how he passed away. His head up all the way being gracious and thinking of others.

Thank you for a post that is both enlightening for others and also a great reminder of my own past.

I wish you and your family peace and favor during this time.

Larry
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bethiestuff
New Member
Joined : Jan 2017
Posts : 13
Posted 11/18/2019 12:21 PM (GMT -6)
My brother is still with us but Saturday he called my mom, sister and myself to say goodbye. I suppose he knows he is close to leaving us and may not be able to have conversations with us again. I asked him if he was scared or in pain. He sad No that he was sad. That he is sad is heartbreaking to me. Pain can be fixed and I think I could talk to him about fear but I do not know how to fix sadness. I hope it is lifted soon. .I want to ask a favor of the forum but am not sure about the rules. I would like to be able to read at his memorial excerpts of the admiration and support that my brother has received from all of you. No names attached of course as I think of this forum as a sacred place of anonymity. I have copied all his threads and responses from Day 1 of this journey and would like to share some of it with those that love him but know nothing of the support he has received from you all. Would a forum moderator please let me know if I have permission to do this. Thanking you in advance....Beth
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2019Guy
Regular Member
Joined : Jan 2019
Posts : 430
Posted 11/18/2019 1:26 PM (GMT -6)
That's a wonderful idea, Beth. You certainly have my permission and blessing and I'm confident everyone else will feel the same way.

I wish your brother peace, and you the comfort of knowing that he led a good life and was a hero to the end.

David
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Pratoman
Forum Moderator
Joined : Nov 2012
Posts : 8565
Posted 11/18/2019 1:28 PM (GMT -6)
bethiestuff, i see no reason why you cannot share content from the forum, its public domain, and i am sure anyone who was quoted would be honored to be part of Rockyfords final goodbye.Feel free. And Godspeed
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Skypilot56
Veteran Member
Joined : Mar 2017
Posts : 1431
Posted 11/18/2019 1:50 PM (GMT -6)
Beth in this time of sadness may you find love and comfort from family and friends and may the courage that your brother has shown be passed on to family.

Larry
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bethiestuff
New Member
Joined : Jan 2017
Posts : 13
Posted 11/18/2019 1:50 PM (GMT -6)
Thank You Pratoman....I feel strongly that his brothers and sisters on the forum should be a part of his goodbye...and thanks to everyone again who have been such a support to him and all of us. The kind words during treatment to the final days. One thing I know Rocky would want to emphasize to all of the fighters and most especially to the Newly Diagnosed that this is a hard read. It's gut wrenching and he would not want anyone to be defeated at the beginning of their journey for "the cure". It is his story alone, his body. No two alike and no battle the same. Fight your own fight but remember the forum is here in defeat and victory to hold you up with counsel if requested or open ears with no judgement. Beth
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Tudpock18
Forum Moderator
Joined : Sep 2008
Posts : 4992
Posted 11/18/2019 3:23 PM (GMT -6)
Beth, I agree with Prato...there is nothing in our rules that would prohibit you from sharing posts at the service. In fact, I think it's an honor to our members that you would even consider it.

God bless you and your family at this difficult time.

Jim
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PDL17
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2011
Posts : 678
Posted 11/19/2019 7:18 AM (GMT -6)
Beth,

Your brother sound like a wonderful man. I agree with garyi that his courage reminds me to stop being so self-absorbed and fretful. I am sure he is sad because he does not want to leave the people that loves him so much. I will pray for his peace.

Paul
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Wings of Eagles
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2013
Posts : 1070
Posted 11/21/2019 5:15 AM (GMT -6)
Been reading some prior post from Rockyfords. He summed up my thoughts exactly when he replied about John M passing one year ago.

"Peace and comfort now I hope for a life lived in love. Whatever the stage of the journey, I know that love makes it better. In each day, it is the sacred gift, it is everything to a husband, father, son, brother, or friend who walks this path. "

May Rocky have the peace that goes beyond understanding, may Love abound around his loved ones, for surely he is loved boundlessly. We love you brother Rockyfords. Knowing you has blazed a path in my journey for a life well lived. You have shown me a pathway to acceptance and strengthened my Faith,
You are a blessing and may your family continue to be blessed by your legacy. With all my love and respect,
Dan aka Wings of Eagles
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GoBucks
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2018
Posts : 1043
Posted 11/26/2019 9:12 AM (GMT -6)
This important thread needs to be on page one instead of the "No Subject" nonsense that has run its course. Thanks for finding that quote Wings.
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Octorobo
Regular Member
Joined : May 2009
Posts : 425
Posted 11/26/2019 9:54 AM (GMT -6)
Dear Rockyfords
Thank you for your sharing your thoughts. We all are touched by you situation. I feel that you words were spot on. I am glad that you are not alone in this final mile on earth. It is obvious from your words that there are those who have walked many steps and many miles with you. My prayer for you, your wife and family and friends is that these times will be almost celebratory in nature, that together there will be peace, comfort and laughter. I am a person of faith. I hope that I have the opportunity to meet you in the miles that will be ahead! Blessings.
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alephnull
Veteran Member
Joined : Dec 2013
Posts : 2047
Posted 11/26/2019 1:25 PM (GMT -6)
bethiestuff ,

I pray for the peace of the Lord to be with you and your family.
May your memories be happy and fond.
May your healing be pure and full of love.

Much Love to you and your family
Frank

Post Edited (alephnull) : 11/26/2019 12:48:24 PM (GMT-7)

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bethiestuff
New Member
Joined : Jan 2017
Posts : 13
Posted 11/30/2019 9:24 AM (GMT -6)
2/3/54 - 11/27/19 - My brother
So it is over and he is resting...He is not finished working, though, as he has requested his body be donated to science. He told his wife that it will be his last "lecture". As a molecular biologist, PHD he loved standing in front of his students "splitting atoms". My brother-in-law" would tease him by saying "he should be splitting firewood". That was only because his intellect was so far above the rational mind that his Texas family possesses.

We can all say " he's in a better place or he's no longer in pain or he's at peace". All the things people say when they lose someone. Myself, I am too sad right now but know all of the above is true. My comfort is reading the shared posts of "his brothers and sisters" on the forum and the incredible impact you made in his life these last 3 years. I kept telling myself over these last weeks of Hospice that it was taking so long because he was waiting for a clinical trial to open up " wherever he was going. " We all have different beliefs and they should all be respected. One thing I am absolutely sure of is that he is working hard for you as he always did.

You will all be with me at his memorial as I share your posts of love and admiration for my brother. A tribute to him and to you. I will probably continue to engage in the forum on a limited basis as I am so in the habit of checking in on everyone and researching trials etc...In closing, May you all be well and feel loved. Beth
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clocknut
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2010
Posts : 2802
Posted 11/30/2019 9:33 AM (GMT -6)
Let eternal light shine upon him. May his soul rest in peace. One can only wonder what amazing things this brilliant soul is now experiencing. Blessings to you and to all his family.
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bethiestuff
New Member
Joined : Jan 2017
Posts : 13
Posted 11/30/2019 9:47 AM (GMT -6)
Sorry but my days are mixed up and it matters....He left us 11/28/19...
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