why not new year humor?

I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines. He's a Singer-Songwriter. Or sew it seams.

What's a broken condom? I used to know.......

Well, ok, I'm in for a couple of contributions.

First, you may have noticed on each box of condoms the mfg's guarantee. However, please note, if the condom breaks, your guarantee runs out.

Next, just discussed with our doctor friend her switch to veganism for last few months. She's doing it to support her husband's effort to control artery disease. They are actually doing ok with that diet. Wife and I discussed whether we should tag along on this effort, as my wife's LDL really needs to be corralled. We both were on vegetarianism for a few years back before 2017. Got off it kinda to help with our exercise and (mostly) my laughable attempt to get into weight-lifting. Still pumping iron. Coincidentally, that's about the year my uPSA became detectable and slowly rising. Anyway, a switch back away from meat and/or dairy will be difficult for us, having been raised in TX (dr. friend was, too). I sent them both this video clip that encapsulates my reluctance...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxidca6mlv4

Dr. friend said she got a needed laugh, having picked up my email/video while about to start on call shift at the hospital OR/ICU -- another truly terrifying night for her.

Please stay safe and happy this year, guys!

On Getting Older

A distraught senior citizen
phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
that the medication you
prescribed has to be taken for
the rest of my life?"

"'Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior
lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is
my condition because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'.."

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An older gentleman was on the operating table
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked
to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad , what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son; do your best,
and just remember, if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to me, your mother
is going to come and live with you and
your wife...."

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Two guys, one old, one young, are
pushing their carts around Wal-Mart
when they collide.

The old guy says to the young guy,
"Sorry about that. I'm
looking for my wife, and I guess I
wasn't paying attention to
where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a
coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too...
I can't find her and I'm getting a little
desperate."

The old guy says, "Well,
maybe I can help you find her...
what does she look like?"
"
The young guy says, "Well,
she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair,
blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra,
long legs, and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'


To which the old guy says, "Doesn't
matter, --- let's look for yours.