I wrote the following yesterday and today I woke up still feeling shattered and hopeless. My heart is broken for Jeff. I’m sharing in this forum as I’m just so utterly sad. I wish I could find some sort of comfort, although I’m not sure there’s comfort be to found.
Yesterday, I told myself that Mattie had to gain her little wings so that when Jeff gains his, she’ll be waiting to walk the heavens with him. It only made me cry more.
“On 9/10/2021, Channing (my daughter) and I drove 6 hours round trip to pick up Jeff’s new baby, an English Bulldog he had already named Mattie.
Mattie was 11.5 weeks old today. Despite only having Mattie just shy of 4 weeks, this sweet baby was Jeff’s heart.
Jeff had wanted ‘Mattie’ for years. He put off getting an English Bulldog for a few years as they have a senior lab, CJ, who is totally devoted to Jeff. Jeff didn’t want to disrupt CJ’s final years with a rambunctious puppy.
However, Jeff was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer in December 2020. Realizing he no longer had the luxury of time, both Jeff and Channing decided to make dreams come true and they began their search for the perfect baby girl.
Jeff’s face lit up seeing Mattie, talking about
her, and just being with her. Mattie brightened Jeff’s crapty cancer ridden world and she was already 100% a daddy’s girl.
On Saturday, 10/2/21, Mattie started coughing and her breathing appeared labored.
Channing was alarmed and immediately took Mattie to the ER.
By the time they got to the ER, Mattie’s symptoms had disappeared and staff felt like she had experienced reverse sneezing and sent them home without further evaluation.
Once home, Mattie’s symptoms returned and she continued to struggle throughout the night. She had a terrible night Saturday with both coughing and wheezing.
Certain something was terribly wrong, but unable to get off work, Channing contacted me early Sunday morning and I took Mattie back to same ER.
Mattie was then diagnosed with pneumonia and put on antibiotics. At the time her O2 stats were normal, she didn’t have fever, and while she did have pneumonia, the vet said hospitalization was not needed and she didn’t see anything that had her grossly concerned.
Mattie was discharged with instructions to do “steamy shower treatments” at home and to follow up with primary vet in 5-7 days.
Today, 10/06/21, Mattie seemed worse, not better. Jeff had been up all night with her as she hacked and wheezed.
Bypassing the original ER, Channing took Mattie to the U of M. It was there where they found baby Mattie just wasn’t going to be ok.
Her oxygen levels had dropped, her breathing was compromised, and even with costly treatment her chance of survival or a quality life thereafter was minimal.
It was ultimately decided to let their precious baby go.
Mattie, 7/16/21 - 10/06/21, 3:07 p.m.
Her short life impacted a plethora of people. We are all utterly heartbroken, but are trying to take solace in knowing all Mattie ever knew was profound love.”
Post Edited (Stephanie Williams) : 10/7/2021 5:33:02 AM (GMT-6)