I had my surgery August 8th, 2006. I too had read about guys starting Viagra and using a pump as soon as the catheter came out. My doc, before surgery, reassured me that they would work aggressively with me to regain my ability to have an erection. When my catheter came out he said OK I will see you in November! I was surprised and asked if I should start taking ED drugs now to help. He said he has not seen any studies that has convinced him that it helps regain function any sooner, but if I wanted to then I could.
I had started taking Cialis a couple of months before surgery. I could acheive an erection within 1/2 hour. More importantly, I could then sustain for much longer which was the reason I started to take them. It also worked well for up to a week for me and Viagra would actually last for 3 days, so I was just starting to have ED concerns and pills worked great.
After the catheter was removed (11 days after surgery) I took Cialis 3 days later. I felt no effect at all until about 8 hours later when I felt some familiar tingling in the groin area. This only resulted in some lengthening (which I was happy for at least something). I took the pill again in 3 days like prescribed and then another 3 days. I saw no additional benefit yet, so I stopped. It did seem to help my desire but of couse I was nowhere close to an erection. I do not know about other experiences but the urethra and the penis tissue were still rather sore. I am now close to 5 weeks post surgery and continure to be sore at times along the urethra and bladder. Still, I did notice after a week stopping the Cialis less desire and penis lengthening. Of course, some depression will play a role of less desire because I do miss how sexually active we were prior to surgery and my fear of not being able to make love to my wife like I use too. This is very, very hard at times but I must be patient like swimom and my doc said, usually no signs of recovery until 6 months.
There are other creative things to do while waiting to recover (I hear and read on this forum) but to be honest I am just now starting to feel good enough to explore this and I am going to start to take Cialis again. I assume injections will be part of the recovery as well, but am not sure when my urologist will start recommending. I fight the depression and discouragement as I plan to try what I can to help with recovery by following my docs recommendations and others on this forum, but there is not much discussion about the ED experiences over the months following surgery which of course is a very personal subject. I am young (I think) so I hope that will help with my recovery and I will share on this forum so at least others will know. This is the third hurtle to over come and I feel will be my biggest challenge. First was surgery (good pathology report), then the bladder....only had dribbles after the catheter came out and stopped wearing any pads after 31/2 weeks (yea!) but still have stress induced leakage, and now the impotence issue. I guess I actuallly am ahead of schedule compare to others so I should (and am) thankful.
Your husband needs to know not to expect much until 6 months and it can be depressing for sure but maybe try the different types of ED pills consistently and see which one works best. It is very strange for me not to get an erection from my wife's loving touches and first I thought it would be better if she did not, so I wouldn't get frustrated, but it does still feel good and important and still intimate. I wish I could tell you how to get him to open up to you, but don't give up on him. He may even need to see a counselor along with his urologist? At least you could ask the urologist yourself as he cannot possibly be the first man after this type of surgery to respond this way. I wish you the best.