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Tim G
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2361
   Posted 9/8/2006 3:39 AM (GMT -6)   
I try to think about the losses from cancer in small portions. In too big a dose it can be overwhelming. Because my cancerous prostate has been removed it doesn't end the consequences of having had prostate cancer. Cancer is on my list of the most difficult experiences in life, which also includes the loss of a parent when a child, the Vietnam War, divorce, and alcoholism.

It is difficult to deal with the loss of my prostate. There are issues that I continue to face as a consequence. There is a line of reasoning that says, "You should be happy because the cancer is out. Any other problems that are a consequence of removing the cancer are incidental." Yes, I am happy the cancer is out, and no, other issues (physical, emotional, spiritual)are not incidental.

Having had cancer has subtly changed me in ways that I am still sorting out. I am not the person I was before learning that I had prostate cancer. That's a good thing in many ways, but I have lost forever the person I was then. I have hope that what is lost is nothing compared to what is gained. But there are losses nonetheless. And losses must be grieved. Otherwise I become a cancer victim rather than a cancer survivor.

Age 57  PSA 2.5  Gleason 5   Open Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy/Bilateral Nerve-sparing  6/21/06  Cancer confined to prostate  No further treatment

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 9/8/2006 4:49 AM (GMT -6)   
I think a person has to mourn the loss of the way things used to be before prostate cancer. I know that's part of what I've been doing since we learned Curtis had it August 21st. He is still the same person he used to be, but there are things that will always be different and that is what we mourn.
Curtis, 63,  was diagnosed Aug 21, 2006
Gleason 3+3=6, 3+4=7
PSA 4.10

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 818
   Posted 9/8/2006 8:24 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello TimG,

I like you have had many of the same changes and losses. I lost my mom which is still very painful to deal with. I spent my time in the army which changed my life dramticly. Now my dad is suffering the effects of 88 years. All these changes and loses have affected me just like the passing of 61 years. Having PCa surgery was a lose and a change all in one package, and very tough physically and emotionally to deal with, but I'll go on as a slightly changed maybe better person.

One thing I have come to appreciate from all that I have experienced is how lucky I've been to be born here in a country that has offered me so many chances and choices, and so many friends, and the best medical care on the planet.

Life is becoming a faster journey now so maybe the time we have should be spent looking for the positive things to be thankful for; even one sunny day in late summer is a gift that I plan to enjoy with a walk.

I hope you will enjoy it too.


Post Edited (spinbiscuit) : 9/8/2006 8:06:59 AM (GMT-6)

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