Does anyone else have the problem of arguing all the time?

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Wicket
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 9/12/2006 7:46 PM (GMT -7)   
It seems lately that we are arguing all the time. I realize it's just nerves and anxiety about the up and coming surgery, but how do we get over this.  I want to be strong for him, but I don't think that's happening...in fact I'm making it worse.
Ellen
 
 
Curtis, 63,  was diagnosed Aug 21, 2006
T1C
Gleason 3+3=6, 3+4=7
PSA 4.10


Swimom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 1732
   Posted 9/12/2006 8:35 PM (GMT -7)   
AWWW Ellen,

Go to the movies alone or with a girlfriend. A comedy always takes my mind off of reality. I also have one of the strangest rituals when I'm stressed. I get a cup of coffe and sit, reading nothing important at the local McDonalds play room! Laughing is good for the soul and heals the spirit. Toddlers are my favorite people as they love to laugh and explore their limits...and they aren't mine! I get to go home thinking my life ain't so bad after all...LOL!

It's normal to be anxious. it's also normal to go tit for tat on everything including dust bunnies.....which is about how seriously one should take the tiffs you're going through right now. Curtis may be saying in the back of his mind, hey...let it go for now and don't bother me. All the while you're probably wondering when the shoe will drop, C is appears to be handling things so well. Neither or both could be going on. What is important is knowing when to put a little distance between you and C to prevent communication break downs. A lesson I will learn myself one day...LOL!

Ya know, I do so well when it's our kids or maybe it's because there haven't been too many suprises with them. I do lousey when it's Paul.

We all know a lot of what you two are going through. Paul and C are a little alike I think. Just take a breather when you need to and soon the worst will be over. Paul cooled down right after surgery. I did when I read the pathology report. It's wonder we made it at all! Swim

petal
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 33
   Posted 9/13/2006 5:24 AM (GMT -7)   
hi ellen

i am sorry to hear you are feeling stressed and i can only partly understand this as i am just plodding through things with my father and havnt even began to understand yet but if its any help to you i have found through things that have happened in my own life that sometimes when you are dealing with something that weighs so heavy on your mind that it helps to get up for just one day and getting through the day without talking about the issue in your case the pc . i know this is easier said than done but if you could plan a nice day out eg a meal in a nice atmosphere or a visit to friends just some nice company can make a difference . my dad and i are very close . we live a few houses away from each other and see each other every day . i am the only girl in the family and he sometimes picks things out on me that are on his mind to do with other things . my husband explains it by saying he does it because he is close to me and he feels safe to that .please take sometime out for you aswell as it will recharge your batteries for things to come .
you are a very caring person . i hope you both do something special for the two of you .


take care and best wishes


petal

M. Kat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 9/13/2006 5:56 AM (GMT -7)   
hi Ellen,

I can only echo what the others have said. Take some time for you, don't let this cancer control your life. I had to let it go to a point because Jeff didn't want to talk about it much, didn't care about all the details. he just wanted to take it as it came. I wanted to control as much as I could. I found this forum to be so helpful so come here and talk about what you're feeling and thinking and questioning and leave Curtis alone. He sounds a lot like my hubby. he does worry and care, but just doesn't want to talk about it all the time. talk about other things with him so life will be as normal as it can be...like it was before. you will make it through this! kat

Wicket
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 9/13/2006 6:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Petal thanks for taking the time to answer me in the middle of all your problems with your father.  I know what you mean about being close to your father.  I'm the only child and my father is the only parent I have left.  We've always been close and how he's in a Veterans Nursing Home after a major stroke.  My father is 88 and you'll find as things go on that you'll be more of a parents than a child at times to him and that is very hard to take.
I think we're going to take a day this weekend and go to a movie and out to dinner and just try to relax.
Ellen
 
 
Curtis, 63,  was diagnosed Aug 21, 2006
T1C
Gleason 3+3=6, 3+4=7
PSA 4.10


spinbiscuit
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 818
   Posted 9/13/2006 6:13 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Ellen,

This is a very tough time for the guy that has been moving through life feeling pretty much in control of his destiny, the pillar of strength, knight in shinning armor, etc., and so on. Then one day comes this PCa, and everything has changed in his world. This is something he can't personally fix, and that is a very frightening prospect.

When I look back 7 months this is the feeling I experienced, and although I tried to appear stoic and controled that was not the case. Jane and the kids were the ones that caught the frustration I was feeling for my own sense of helplessness. Lucky for me they knew what I was up to and with their patience and strength they brought me through this recovery. Then I pitched them a curve, and had 2 hernia opperations as a bonus. I really have no idea why they put up with me; except that I'm just dumb-lucky.

I hope this will help a little to explain why guys act so irrationally sometimes.

Glen

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