Surgery Date set already!!!

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Wicket
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 9/15/2006 12:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Surgery date is October 10th...I thought I was ready, but apparently not!  I'm a basket case!!  So worried about him and what he has to go through.  Any words of encouragement would be wonderful!!
Ellen
 
 
Curtis, 63,  was diagnosed Aug 21, 2006
T1C
Gleason 3+3=6, 3+4=7
PSA 4.10


GreenAcres
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 474
   Posted 9/15/2006 1:41 PM (GMT -7)   
It's like relief and fear collide at once, isn't it? I remember in the consult and we were expecting the doc to be six weeks out and he said he could take us the following week. Wow. It was like, Yay! and the next second it was "we're not ready!!!!!"

Now, you'll have to start planning - make a list of liquids and soups for the pre-and post-op part. At least you have time to put it together. The waiting isn't easy, but at least you have a focus date now. And revel in the fact that Curtis is going to feel fine right up to the moment - while it seems a shame, it's also a plus rather than being extremely ill and in great pain waiting for surgery.

bluebird
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2542
   Posted 9/15/2006 5:30 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Wicket (Ellen & Curtis)

 

Ahhhhhh this is the time to take that nice deep breath!!!!!!!! 

 

Yes, you are ready J… it can be seen in your e-mails… the strength comes through with your comments to others who are needing help!!!  You are amazing…. And stronger than you think! 

 

Now go give Curtis a big warm fuzzy “HUG” and when he hugs you back… that’s a hug from me to you !!

 

I don’t remember fear…. Only a feeling of how can this be????…

He is sooooo healthy!!!! And he’s had a wonderful Wellness program and he eats right and he doesn’t do bad things to his body!!  There’s no pain, There’s no weight loss, There’s no sign of this terrible disease that’s invaded his body.

 

Remembering our 2nd consultation…. I told Dr. Staley…. I wanted it out now and if he’d let me I’d assist him right now in taking “IT” out.  He said Buddy might have something to say about us slinging him over the take with no anesthesia.  J

 

We were all 3 of the same mind…..Let’s Lift the Hood…and Let’s Get it OUT!!!  We had our surgery as soon as it was safe… allowing time for the body to heal from the biopsy… “6 weeks”… I asked about CAT scan, MRI, and storing blood.  Our urologist did not recommend any of these.   He said getting in and seeing and feeling the area was his best read.  So ~ it truly went along with our own mind set…. Lift the Hood

 

I hope “OUR JOURNEY” continues to help you as you prepare for the next step in your journey. I do edit it occasionally when I see that something isn't clear... on the original posting. 

 

In Friendship,

Lee & Buddy

 

 


mama bluebird
~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~
Buddy 53 RRP April 3, 2006 PSA 4.6 Gleason 3+3=6 T2a Confined to Prostate
June 29th PSA Less than 0.1 Non-detectable 


DWT
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 89
   Posted 9/15/2006 6:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Wicket,
I have to be silent, bite my tongue, but why is everyone always rushing to get their prostate out. I only hear wives saying get it out fast, faster. Don't the men have anything to say in this or don't they want to talk about it We now our doctor tells us this is a slow groing cancer you don't have to have it taken care of within 4 weeks or less. Take you time.
The bad thing of course the the waiting, I believe as bad as the procedure, which ever you choose. I read other message boards too and find very often that the men say- I would have chosen some other treatment if I had some time to think about it.
Still I wish you the best and a speedy recovery for your husband.
Years ago, at the drop of a dime, the doc would remove a women utuerus or breast - not any more there are gentler procedures. NOw they are doing this to our men - hopefully some day in the future ther will be a gentler way for our sons, grandsons, and future generations.
SL

Wicket
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 9/15/2006 7:33 PM (GMT -7)   
SL,
Well this is Curtis' decision to have it out as soon as possible.  I think he wants the cancer out of his body as soon as possible. He hates the thought of that foreign, alien thing is in his body. We looked into other options and decided this was the best one for him.  He didn't feel radiation was something he wanted in his body and this was the best option to getting rid of it once and for all.
I guess that's why there are so many options cause everyone things differently about things.
Ellen
 
 
Curtis, 63,  was diagnosed Aug 21, 2006
T1C
Gleason 3+3=6, 3+4=7
PSA 4.10


GreenAcres
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 474
   Posted 9/16/2006 5:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Remember, too, that it is not always "slow growing." There are certainly exceptions (that would seem to be us) and the urgency of removal. With other methods, there may not be ways to discover if there are minute spreads without seeing the gland from a pathologist's viewpoint. Plus, with "some" other methods, the PSA numbers may not tell the entire story for months or years afterward. With surgery, you get it fast.

M. Kat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 9/16/2006 6:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Ellen and Curtis,

now you have a date to work towards and get ready for. As soon as Jeff made his decision to have surgery, he wanted it as soon as possible. he had his surgery one month from the date we heard the biopsy results. then the night before surgery, we looked at each other and asked "do we have to do this...can we wait a little longer?" but of course we went through with it and are glad we did. Jeff is now prostate cancer free and feeling almost back to his normal self. it will seem to take forever to get here, then suddenly it'll be here. hang in there and keep hugging each other. kat

Wicket
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 9/16/2006 7:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Kat,
Thanks for the encouraging words.  We do hug each other a lot.  I told him yesterday that the closeness is what I miss most about not having sex anymore...I think he subconscioiusly is afraid he might hurt himself because sex has been nil since we heard he had PC.
I can't remember when Jeff had his surgery...I know it wasn't that long ago...glad to hear he's almost back to normal now...How old is he...another thing I can't remember.
Thanks again!!
Ellen
 
 
Curtis, 63,  was diagnosed Aug 21, 2006
T1C
Gleason 3+3=6, 3+4=7
PSA 4.10


DWT
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 89
   Posted 9/16/2006 8:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Wicket,
yes sex is what I will miss the most, DWT doesn't hugg, never has, never will. Sex is our closeness and that will be gone, I feel deep down. I told him yesterday: make love to me like the first time and as if it would be the last time. His response: why are you so negative everything will be alright. Yet deep down in my soul I feel that this will not be the case. Everything will be different, everything. We'll struggle along with daily life as always, I'll take care of him, his body till he goes back to work. Everything will be different. I'll clean the catheter bags, dress the wound, fix his meals, not much different than before just extra work - yet I know and my guts tells me it will be different. I although know it will not be better - it will be colder more distant nothing like it was. All what we had together will have changed. It will not only be the physical situation but the mental impact any kinf of PCa procedure has on a man and his wife. Ladies tell me honestly, really honestly - that your man hasn't changed in many things, even ever so slightly and not all are for the better. I have done so much reading in these last 4 mos about all the aspects of PCa, the treatments, the aftercare and the mental attitude of the men and women involved and there isn't a rosy picture out there in the thousands and thousands of people interviewed and followed.
There is swimom a strong person with an ability to overcome everything and good advise to us all, there is M. Kat tough as a rock, there is bluebird, green acres, go get it people, and than there are the rest of us who aren't made that way and the rest is the majority of people male and female out there.
I am off now to pack the last few items for our trip to the HIFU procedure. Stop the mail, the paper, garbage, water the few bushes and a long list if other things. You hear from me again when we are back.
I started to write a book about my emotional journey with my husbands PCA. THere so many writen by men for men with men wbout men but none have I found about a woman's wifes emotional turmoil. Who helps us, who makes us not ashemed for how we feel or the wuestions we have, certainly not the docotors. We are not even a consideration in the game. SL

Wicket
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 9/16/2006 9:54 AM (GMT -7)   
SL,
Well hopefully you'll be pleasantly surprised after the surgery that things aren't as bad as you think they are.  DWT might just surprise you at how quickly he recovers in all areas.

Ellen
 
 
Curtis, 63,  was diagnosed Aug 21, 2006
T1C
Gleason 3+3=6, 3+4=7
PSA 4.10
 
DiVinci surgery scheduled for October 10th


Letty
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 9/16/2006 2:57 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi everyone,

Boy, PC sure causes all of us to go through all kinds of feelings and emotions, men and women alike.  A book written by a woman, from a woman's perspective would be great.  It is a very scary experience to go through.  All the "what ifs" really get ya sometimes.  It is hard to try to stay strong and positive and encouraging for our husbands while we really don't know ourselves what is going to happen or what we can expect.

Yes, things can't help but change in different ways.  I think PC can really bring couples closer together in many ways.  I was really reminded of how much I loved my husband and was very scared to think I might lose him.  I am so grateful for the time we still have together and I think I appreciate it more now than ever.  After almost 30 years together, I think sometimes we have a tendancy to take each other for granted sometimes, not anymore!

It is really hard SL and really an emotional time.  Your feelings are real, heartfelt and valid.  My husbands surgery was on July 23rd, not quite 2 months yet.  Our sex life is not what is was yet and I'm not sure that it will ever be BUT...there are some very promising signs!  Thats why I think Ellen is right in that you'll be surprised after the surgery at how quickly they/we recover.  Then you will know exactly what is going on and what to expect, instead of all the guessing and worrying that goes on before.

Wicket, The presurgery can be the hardest time.  We just wanted to get it done and move on.  While PC can be slow growing, it can also be aggresive.  At only 50 years of age and a gleason 7, my husband was not comfortable with watchful waiting or any other procedure.  He felt like it might give the cancer a chance to spread, but if it was surgically removed he might have a chance for cure.  As it was, the cancer was at the prostate wall but had not yet penetrated and all the margins were clear.  We're glad we didn't wait any longer.  It was the right thing to do for us and it was not just my decision, it was my husbands first and foremost.  To each their own though, its not for me to say what someone else should do.

Good Luck to all,

Letty

 

 

 

 

 


Letty,
 
Husband diagnosed May 2006 at age 50.  RPR performed 13 July 06.
PSA 5.7,  Gleason 3+4=7, Staged T2C.
Cancer confined to prostate.


Wicket
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 9/16/2006 8:05 PM (GMT -7)   

Letty,

I found now that the little things that irritated me are no big thing anymore...not since I found out he had the cancer.  And you are right about taking each other for granted.  Almost 40 years together here and I think we were doing that too, but that all changed when we found he had PC...it has brought us closer and we are much more open talking to each other about our feelings.

On one hand I want to get the surgery here and on the other I dread it getting here if you know what I mean.  I hate to have him go through all that...Poor guy has never been in the hospital for anything.

You certainly know what I'm feeling about all this.


Ellen
 
 
Curtis, 63,  was diagnosed Aug 21, 2006
T1C
Gleason 3+3=6, 3+4=7
PSA 4.10
 
DiVinci surgery scheduled for October 10th


Swimom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 1732
   Posted 9/16/2006 8:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Sl,
Thanks for the vote of confidence! You greatly overestimate my ability to overcome me thinks though..LOL! I'm about as big a basket case as they come sometimes. My coping skills are more practiced than the average person is all. Some by choice and some by force of circumstance.

I believe DW is saying something important when he says you see everything as negative right now. Practice saying what he needs to hear for a while and soon you will be more believing the positive I'll bet. He wants to know you believe he's going to be alright. He needs to hear the out look is at the very least, promising....which it is. Heck, you had him practically turned inside out with tests! All of those tests were promising SL. I think you do believe it but are so worried that it's hard to convince yourself.

Look at the tests so far and take from those, something positive. His Doctor is confident, everyting is set to go. You have done everything you can and then some. Take comfort on knowing all that was in your's and DW's power to do, has been done. The rest has to run it's course yet.

Helpless is such a negative word. Trade that word for one that is more appropriate....you have been incredibly HELP-FUL in making sure DW gets the very best care available! You haven't been helpless! Take comfort in what has gone right so far. Try very hard to dwell on what has gone right. It'll make the rest less painful to bear in the coming days/weeks. I promise!

(my book ca be purchased at the end of this segment for ...LOL)

Hugs, Swim
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