Boy, PC sure causes all of us to go through all kinds of feelings and emotions, men and women alike. A book written by a woman, from a woman's perspective would be great. It is a very scary experience to go through. All the "what ifs" really get ya sometimes. It is hard to try to stay strong and positive and encouraging for our husbands while we really don't know ourselves what is going to happen or what we can expect.
Yes, things can't help but change in different ways. I think PC can really bring couples closer together in many ways. I was really reminded of how much I loved my husband and was very scared to think I might lose him. I am so grateful for the time we still have together and I think I appreciate it more now than ever. After almost 30 years together, I think sometimes we have a tendancy to take each other for granted sometimes, not anymore!
It is really hard SL and really an emotional time. Your feelings are real, heartfelt and valid. My husbands surgery was on July 23rd, not quite 2 months yet. Our sex life is not what is was yet and I'm not sure that it will ever be BUT...there are some very promising signs! Thats why I think Ellen is right in that you'll be surprised after the surgery at how quickly they/we recover. Then you will know exactly what is going on and what to expect, instead of all the guessing and worrying that goes on before.
Wicket, The presurgery can be the hardest time. We just wanted to get it done and move on. While PC can be slow growing, it can also be aggresive. At only 50 years of age and a gleason 7, my husband was not comfortable with watchful waiting or any other procedure. He felt like it might give the cancer a chance to spread, but if it was surgically removed he might have a chance for cure. As it was, the cancer was at the prostate wall but had not yet penetrated and all the margins were clear. We're glad we didn't wait any longer. It was the right thing to do for us and it was not just my decision, it was my husbands first and foremost. To each their own though, its not for me to say what someone else should do.
Good Luck to all,
Husband diagnosed May 2006 at age 50. RPR performed 13 July 06.
PSA 5.7, Gleason 3+4=7, Staged T2C.
Cancer confined to prostate.