Surgery in the past but what about the future?

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

hamala
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 54
   Posted 9/21/2006 9:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone,
 
It has been 6 weeks since surgery.  As most of you know I had good path report and done with pads 2 weeks after the catheter removed.  All going great but I am still a bit depress lately which is unusual for me.  Will I always have some leakage?  Will I ever get an erection again?  I know I am impatient but 6 months is a hell of a long time to see if anything happens.  I always told myself it should not matter if it takes 2 years as long as it happens, but I guess I am not that patient.  My wife and I were so active knowing surgery would be coming and boy how I miss it.  Just looking for some encouragement.
 
Thanks,
 
Michael
Age:41, Lump found on routine physical. PSA:1.4, 2 of 13 cores positive, Gleason:6, DeVinci surgery on 8/8/2006


spinbiscuit
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 818
   Posted 9/21/2006 11:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Michael,

You're right 6 weeks seems like a long time in your recovery, and maybe 6 months looks like an eternity. At 41 years old you are strong and you will heal quickly even though it doen't seem that way now. Ask yourself is today better than yesterday? Is this week better than the last? I'll bet the answer is yes, and next month will be even better. Who knows maybe you'll be 99% back to your young self. So get busy living these extra days, weeks, months, and years you have been given. Tell your wife to get dressed up, and you put on some shape duds then go treat yourselves to a Great Dinner and a show. These are some of the little things that make life worth living.

Good Luck,

Glen

sterd82
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 187
   Posted 9/22/2006 4:09 AM (GMT -7)   
While you're waiting, did your doc suggest viagra or other similar meds to help things out?   Also, ask if using a vacuum device would be a good idea to get you back into the game while you heal up.   Its a little weird, but it does work.  I'm 46, and am 3 months past my RP.  Unfortunately, my pre-operative prognosis ruled out the nerve-sparing RP, so I'm facing a more permanent
loss of function without assistance.   Good luck!

M. Kat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 9/22/2006 4:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Michael,

Jeff and I are behind you on our schedule so we're also hoping that everything will "work" again. it's been 4 weeks now. I can tell that Jeff is getting disappointed because he's dribbling in the afternoons even though he's dry during the night, and he hasn't had an erection yet. he's decided to go back on Cialis and just not drink. he told me the other day how it takes a man with a big ego to be able to deal with this. after having erections for 40 years, now it's just a "little thing." I think it's OK for you to be depressed, but don't stay there. like Glen said, carry on with your life and know that it will be better. there are lots of guys here who have said that, so let's believe them......kat

GreenAcres
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 474
   Posted 9/22/2006 6:26 AM (GMT -7)   
I'd be worried if my husb. wasn't worried about getting things working again. That means you're fighting to get there both mentally and emotionally. Along with that will come highs and lows - with the successes and the little leaks, too. Husband's were great at first and then came a few days of less control. Those were the downer days, but we look to the better ones, knowing that it's possible! Same for sexual functioning - fortunate to have Cialis on our side. At any age, it's all in the mental attitude. There are 40-year-olds who act old and 70+-year-olds who will always be young.

Who said patience is a virtue? It's just plain not normal!

bluebird
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2542
   Posted 9/23/2006 6:13 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Michael,

 

Reach deep inside yourself…because you have such strength that you’ve just for a moment…forgotten that you have.  It is so evident in so many of your postings… and you only have to look within to recapture it.  Depression will eat up all that positive energy that you had before surgery and during your healing/recovery.  From your postings your wife has been a great support.  Being able to talk through things is so important. 

 

I will share my feelings with you.  I’ve talked myself into going ahead and sharing this with you.… I don’t know you personally ~ but having read your postings from the beginning maybe a little…. But then again…I may be off the mark completely and then again maybe not!

 

The urinary incontinence will take time….. you really have to be patient…  You are free of prostate cancer, you are only 41, and your surgery was on August 8th.  These are all big pluses!!!!!  Time is a healer… Positive thinking is a healer……. 

 

Now about that erection?

I don’t know your wife and again… I may be off the mark and if I am… just ask me to delete my posting….. and I will in a heart beat!  Just say the word…

 

Are her feelings the same as yours? Is she depressed because there’s no erection?  If you are both feeling the depression… I wouldn’t hesitate to ask for some outside help to get through this.  There are several forms….  Counseling, medication… or you could just find a new form of love making to get you through this!!!  I don’t think I need to draw a picture here J

 

If it’s you that is the most concerned at this point about “him” the erection…. Then you might want to put your energy into healing and stop thinking J  Thinking sometimes can really mess with your mind!!!!!!!!  And down below too!  So ~ stop thinking about him and he will probably wake you up one morning.  And a posting down the road from you…. Like one of our other friends sent out “Got Woody”….  J

Truly… focus your energy healing!!!!  This was a major surgery and there’s a lot of healing that has to take place…

 

Please remember….

 

You are alive and free of prostate cancer…. The most important phase in all of this!!! 

 

So many tend to forget this after the surgery because then we have other issues to deal with.  But ~ you should never forget this.  This you should remember each morning when you wake up and each night when you lean over and kiss that beautiful wife.  You are here!!!! 

 

We are never promised tomorrow…. *I know, I know… I’ve said this before… but it is so true.  If you could look into the future…and you could see that you have only 3 weeks to live… what would be your priority?  I guess we would all have different priorities ~ but I don’t think having an erection to have intercourse would be that high on the list….   So ~ why not live today as if it is the last day and show your wife the love through other channels of affection.  When was the last time you turned the radio on and asked her to “slow” dance?  When was the last time you walked up behind her and kissed her on the neck.  When was the last time you gave her a gentle body massage?  Don’t forget spoons, buns to buns, and cuddling… All of these add up to closeness.  I share this with you because in our very personal decision to have the “wide-excision” we knew what the end result would be.  With the “wide-excision”… the surgeon cuts out as much tissue as possible surrounding the prostate in an aggressive attempt to get every last bit of cancer.  So ~ we had 2 phases to contend with rather than 3 that the majority of the men have.  Free of cancer & urinary continence!  And I’m here to tell you that having Buddy here with me is the most important thing in my life.  

 

I’ll throw this into the mix…. Christopher Reeves…. Comes to my mind.  We all know what his daily struggles were. 

 

Michael… I hope I haven’t crossed a line that I should not have crossed…. 

If so ~ please let me know because my intentions are truly an honest heartfelt response to your cry for answers.  I’m not saying I have “the” answer… but I feel I can contribute a little in the ways of POSITIVE THINKING…. 

 

My thoughts and prayers are with you each and every day….

In Friendship ~ Lee

 

 


mama bluebird - Lee & Buddy 53
RRP April 3, 2006   PSA 4.6 Gleason 3+3=6 T2a   Confined to Prostate
June 29th PSA Less than 0.1 Non-detectable  :)


bluebird
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2542
   Posted 10/6/2006 6:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi.. Michael,

It's been awhile....
Just wanted to touch base to see how you are doing... Please keep in touch with us... okay :)

Lee & Buddy
mama bluebird - Lee & Buddy 53
RRP April 3, 2006   PSA 4.6 Gleason 3+3=6 T2a   Confined to Prostate
June 29th PSA Less than 0.1 Non-detectable  :)


M. Kat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 10/17/2006 5:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Michael,

how are things going? we hadn't heard from you in a while. Jeff hasn't worn a pad for several days now and is very happy to be past that. we're going on our 7th week post surgery and getting a little frustrated about no erections yet. I know you had mentioned in another post that you were thinking of trying the vacuum. Jeff is considering that, too. please check in and let us know how you are doing. kat
Husband Jeff 56 years old
diagnosed July 27, 2006
PSA 6.5
2 positive areas in biopsy, Gleason 3+3=6
Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy August 30, 2006
pathology report - all clear - cancer gone
1st post-surgery PSA test 0.1
no more pads Oct 12, 2006


bluebird
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2542
   Posted 10/20/2006 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi!!!!  Mike  “Hamala”

 

Kat and I are in perfect harmony here!!!   We really have missed talking “with” you!…  I know several of us have left postings specifically for you and never heard anything back on how things were going… We really do care about you!!!!!  Remember… We want to be a part of your recovery in any way we can.  So ~ please let us know how you are doing….. even on the bad days…. This is where we all hope to give that extra strength.  Truly…… We’ve missed you  yeah  

 

We’ve seen several posting from you to others ~ so we at least knew you were still with us… but we want to be there for you too!!!

 

When you feel up to it.....  We really would like to hear from you.

 

In Friendship, Lee & Buddy


mama bluebird - Lee & Buddy 53
RRP April 3, 2006   PSA 4.6 Gleason 3+3=6 T2a   Confined to Prostate
June 29th PSA Less than 0.1 Non-detectable  :)


hamala
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 54
   Posted 10/20/2006 9:33 PM (GMT -7)   

Bluebird,

Sorry, I did not see your very personal and postive response until today.  I had not checked in for awhile.  Crazy at work and traveling.  Thanks for sharing and no you did not cross over any lines.  Yes, I am more concerned than my wife about obtaining an erection but she is concerned as well.  We went through a "phase" where we were not very intimate but are trying again.  I get frustrated and she a little bummed when I can not acheive an orgasm with her help.  It is a learning curve and we both really hope the injections will help.  My appointment with my Urologist is on Nov. 11th. 

I am not sure if I told you all my first PSA at 5 weeks post came back less than 0.7.  I will have another drawn right before my next appt.  All good news.

Thanks to everyone and their encouragement, it all really helps.  I find it easy to give out encouragment to others but realize I need it too from time to time.  Thank you all for this. 

Kat, it sounds like Jeff is doing well.  I have not tried the vacuum pump.  I thought I wait until my appt with the doc.  We will see what he suggests. 

We have a crazy busy life like most.  One daughter a freshman in high school, a daughter in middle school (7th grade) and a son in elementary (3rd grade).  Three different schools this year and lots of activities! This in itself creates a challenge just to find time for intimacy but making time is important.  We found that out when I was diagnosed.

Again I appreciate all of you very much and will continue to keep in touch.  Has anyone heard from Daveed lately?  I was thinking he was scheduled soon for surgery?

Mike

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Tuesday, December 12, 2017 3:10 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,904,534 posts in 318,763 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 158152 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, vekasuiv.
412 Guest(s), 13 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
PeteZa, JayMot, LRiso, PeppermintTea, Smara, Lqqkout, spikel, BillyBob@388, Fronton, ByHisGrace, AZ Guy, Scooterbuglyme, Emily P