Spending the night in hospital with hubby?

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Wicket
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 9/27/2006 8:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Did any of the wives spend the night in the hospital with their husbands the first night?  I'm thinking about it, but of course Curtis doesn't know that cause I'm sure he would have a fit that I even want to.  After the surgery there won't be much he can say about it.  LOL
Ellen
 
 
Curtis, 63,  Diagnosed Aug 21, 2006
T1C
Gleason 3+3=6, 3+4=7
PSA 4.10
 
Bone Scan Negative!!
DiVinci surgery scheduled for October 10th


wittler
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 104
   Posted 9/27/2006 9:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi wicket,
I tried to, but he was put in a semi-private room. I went in early and left late. We had put his name on the list for a private room, but they were all full when we went in. I hope you have better luck with this.
Kate
 
My Husband is 52 yrs old
* Diagnosed 7/13/06 with 11.4 PSA, Gleason 7,T2b and Negative Bone and CT scan.
 
* Had Open Radical Prostatectomy on 9/18/06
Gleason was reduced to 6, had negative nodes and negative margins. 75% of the prostate was affected.
 


M. Kat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 9/27/2006 10:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Ellen,

I didn't only because there was no where for me to sleep and be comfortable and Jeff really didn't need me there. I stayed until about 10 PM and was back there around 7 AM. He had a private room but was sleeping a lot. kat
Husband Jeff 56 years old
diagnosed July 27, 1006
PSA 6.5
2 positive areas in biopsy, Gleason 3+3=6
Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy August 30, 2006


Letty
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 9/27/2006 10:56 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Ellen,

The hospital where Gordon had his surgery only had private rooms and they had a pull-out couch/bed in each room for spouses who wanted to stay the night.  It was really a great facility.  I didn't spend the night though because of a few reasons.  One being that I didn't think there was anything I could do to help hubby at that point in time.  I figured he needed to get as much rest as he could but that if I was there all night he would be trying to stay awake to visit with me.  I also thought that I should probably get all the rest I could as well before he came home because then it would be my turn to be the full time 24 hour a day nurse!

I stayed late and made sure he was allright and then left and came back early the next day.  After the surgery it seemed like he was extremely tired and mostly just needed to sleep off the anesthetic.  Of course it is a personal choice and if your driving very far that would certainly be a consideration.

It's important to take care of yourself and get the rest you need too so you'll be better able to help him when he comes home.

Wishing the best for you both,   


Letty,
 
Husband diagnosed May 2006 at age 50.  RRP performed 13 July 06.
PSA 5.7,  Gleason 3+4=7, Staged T2C, Cancer confined to prostate.
His father diagnosed at age 62 and is currently a 13 year survivor!


GreenAcres
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 474
   Posted 9/27/2006 11:04 AM (GMT -7)   
I stayed - and glad of it. Didn't sleep much - nor did I plan on it. Every time husb. moved, I was checking on him! Throughout the night he needed a lot of water (sipping), which he couldn't do himself. Nor was he alert enough to punch the nurse's button if he had gotten into trouble during the night. They also were asking him if he wanted more pain meds and he was too groggy to respond. (I finally got a "yes" out of him.) There's just too much that can go wrong in hospitals these days and - without being a nuisance - I think the nurses appreciate having someone there. The one we had got blankets, sheets, and pillow for me. Told me where the snacks, water, and coffee were and I just made myself at home. And when they got him up to walk, there was only one nurse to do it, so I felt better being on the other side of him then, too. There's other stuff - if the catheter backs up or bladder spasms hit, etc. Then, the next morning, they were going to give him a generic of his typical blood pressure medication (even one will give him a severe headache) and I was able to stop them and give him his real one. And, then, the doctor came through about 5:30 a.m., which I certainly would have missed if I hadn't stayed.

I went back once to the hotel late afternoon to get comfier clothes on and take out my contacts. Grabbed snacks and a book and headed right back.

Husb. tried to talk me out of it at first, wanting me to get a good night's sleep - but I wouldn't have, anyway, and he was glad I was there.

Wicket
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 9/27/2006 1:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks to the Wives for answering my question.  I think I'll just play it by ear and see how he is after the surgery and then decide.

Ellen
 
 
Curtis, 63,  Diagnosed Aug 21, 2006
T1C
Gleason 3+3=6, 3+4=7
PSA 4.10
 
Bone Scan Negative!!
DiVinci surgery scheduled for October 10th


bluebird
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2542
   Posted 9/27/2006 5:05 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Ellen,

 

Good Thread Wicket……

 

Interesting:  I truly felt as Letty did in her posting….. and ended up doing what GreenAcres did.  Both have good points and again … this is where the personal decision comes into play.  Both have good points in there postings. The main thing is that you are comfortable with your decision.  You will know what to do!! J

 

Up until 2 days before surgery I was planning to drive the 1-hour trip home and return in the a.m.  Buddy was fine either way…. He left it totally up to me as to what I needed to do.  Stay or go home and get a good sleep in our own bed.  Which I’m pretty sure I would have done…. Mainly knowing how important it was going to be to be rested when he got home.

 

So ~ my decision was to stay with him from the time we checked in until the time we checked out.  The room was private with a nice big lounge chair that tilted back for rest.  I took my pj’s, blanket, thick socks, & neck pillow for me.  And the socks used as neck braces for Buddy… They were all perfect!!!  I didn’t get cold and I made myself sleep when Buddy slept.  I don’t feel I depleted my energy level, which is very important.  I got quite comfortable on the ward… when we walked with the IV pole… I’m sure a few visitors thought I was a patient too! J  My pj’s were flannel and warm pants/top and was very appropriate.  I took my little cooler and was set for the time there.  Nice book in hand and puzzle books…. And a few nice size sandwiches too!

 

My biggest concern was if Buddy could get into our Jeep Wrangler for the trip home!!  We did just fine… so if this is a concern… let it go.  Don’t forget your neck pillow for the trip home.  It really was great to have!!  You are ready and so is Curtis J  Soon you will blink and you’ll be letting us know you are home and on the new path called healing/recovery!!!!!!!!

 

Buddy just came by to read what I was writing to you and he says to tell you…. He was really glad I was there.  And I’m truly glad I did stay for many reasons…

 

Wicket ~ You will know so don’t fret for now…. You will know!  And your decision will be the right one J   The main thing you don’t ever want to have to say is “… I wish I had stayed. “ My co-worker said this to me and it stuck with me… and in the end it was my turning point to stay. 

 

Take care friend,

Keeping you close in thought and prayer!


mama bluebird - Lee & Buddy 53
RRP April 3, 2006   PSA 4.6 Gleason 3+3=6 T2a   Confined to Prostate
June 29th PSA Less than 0.1 Non-detectable  :)


Wicket
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 9/27/2006 5:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Mama,
Well you were all set for a long stay.  If I do decide to stay it will be a last minute decision and I won't have anything with me, but maybe a book to read.
That's another of my problems...I wouldn't get much sleep and then have to bring him home the next day and take care of him without sleep could be difficult.
So I'm still up in the air on that...I'll wait and see how he is after surgery.

Ellen
 
 
Curtis, 63,  Diagnosed Aug 21, 2006
T1C
Gleason 3+3=6, 3+4=7
PSA 4.10
 
Bone Scan Negative!!
DiVinci surgery scheduled for October 10th


bluebird
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2542
   Posted 9/29/2006 4:04 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Wicket,

 

Just answering your question…. Did any of the wives spend the night in the hospital with their husbands the first night? 

I thought all the postings were good and informative….

Each person had to make their decision based on different variables that came in to play. 

Sounds to me like you could be prepared…ahead of time to stay and head home at the last minute too!  

Take care…and always remember…. Your decision is the right decision. J


mama bluebird - Lee & Buddy 53
RRP April 3, 2006   PSA 4.6 Gleason 3+3=6 T2a   Confined to Prostate
June 29th PSA Less than 0.1 Non-detectable  :)


Wicket
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 9/29/2006 4:23 PM (GMT -7)   

Mama,

Well Curtis found out I was thinking about staying and he wants me to go home and get a good night sleep...as if I can sleep while he's in there, but guess I will just to make him feel better and not worry about me.

 


Ellen
 
 
Curtis, 63,  Diagnosed Aug 21, 2006
T1C
Gleason 3+3=6, 3+4=7
PSA 4.10
 
Bone Scan Negative!!
DiVinci surgery scheduled for October 10th
DiVinci rescheduled for October 3rd
 


bluebird
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2542
   Posted 9/29/2006 4:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Ellen,
This could be very important..... for his recovery! Especially if he's the type that would not get the rest needed with worry of you being there. You've got wonderful support here.... and knowing Wittler, M.Kat, and Letty.... them not staying will definitely ease your mind... so don't add this to your worry pot.... okay.... Things will be as they are meant to be!!!
You can have that bag ready just in case “you” do decide to stay at the very last minute….. You don’t need to be cold… bring a blanket so you can at least get comfy…
Hugs to you :)
mama bluebird - Lee & Buddy 53
RRP April 3, 2006   PSA 4.6 Gleason 3+3=6 T2a   Confined to Prostate
June 29th PSA Less than 0.1 Non-detectable  :)


Wicket
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 9/29/2006 4:52 PM (GMT -7)   

Mama Bluebird,

Oh they have chairs there that make out into a bed for people who want to stay, but guess that's not on the agenda for me.

 


Ellen
 
 
Curtis, 63,  Diagnosed Aug 21, 2006
T1C
Gleason 3+3=6, 3+4=7
PSA 4.10
 
Bone Scan Negative!!
DiVinci surgery scheduled for October 10th
DiVinci rescheduled for October 3rd
 


bluebird
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2542
   Posted 9/29/2006 4:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Ellen, Don't let this be a worry point.... Who knows... you may have the best sleep of your life knowing that he's had the surgery and he'll be home in the blink of an eye.... and you'll both be on the healing/recovery path.
Pull our strength at this time.. Wicket.... we are "all" here for you :)
As Wittler would say... STAY STRONG!
Hugs comin' atchu.
mama bluebird - Lee & Buddy 53
RRP April 3, 2006   PSA 4.6 Gleason 3+3=6 T2a   Confined to Prostate
June 29th PSA Less than 0.1 Non-detectable  :)


Swimom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 1732
   Posted 9/29/2006 10:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Ellen,

I'm an old pro at hospital stays. It took me a very long time before I could leave and feel okay about it. Of course that was with my kids, not an adult. I still stay if there is even a hint of an unstable condition. Otherwise, if all is well I figure they need their rest, as do I.

After I counted all his fingers and toes and got him all tucked in, I knew Paul would just sleep, so I went on home. His surgery was late in the day so he wasn't going to be doing much and he was fine. The nurse had my cell phone and I left Paul's by his night table should he want me for anything. By the time I returned, he had eaten, had his instructions and his supplies ordered. He was dressed and wandering the halls, anxious to get the heck outta Dodge!

The laporoscopic and robotic surgeies are so minimally invasive. The post-op rebound is quick compared to open surgeries. You will be impressed by how quickly improvement occurs ;>) Swim

KMiyoko
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 9/29/2006 10:26 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Ladies,

My husband had his surgery at the City of Hope in Duarte California August 2005.  They had private rooms with chairs that turned into a sleeper bed.  They encouraged family to stay with  the patients. I spent 2 nights with him. The first night was a little rough, my husband was nauseous and dizzy from the anesthesia. I'm glad I stayed to wet his lips and give him ice chips.   I must say that the City of Hope has EXCELLENT nurses and doctors.  But if he had any problems.... He couldn't call the nurse even if he wanted to, because he was out of it.  It just gave me peace of mind just to be there for him.  My 14 year old daughter spent the 2nd night at the hospital with us.  I think it's up to you if you want to stay, because he seemed to have slept a lot the first night once the dizziness and nausea was gone.  The nurse and my family helped him to walk down the hall, when he was able to get up.  I know a lot of hospitals are short on their nursing staff and calls for any type of help takes a while.  Just judge for yourself once he's out of surgery and you visit with him in the hospital.  I just brought a back pack with all of my stuff and left it in the car.  I had a pillow and blanket, but the hospital provided us with all of the bedding too.  We were able to order our meals with his meals if we didn't want to walk down to the cafeteria.

Good Luck,                                                                     Kay 


SJC
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 9/30/2006 3:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Looks like most of the posts are from the girls. Here's a guys perspective who has gone through the procedure: we appreciate the care and concern, however, it's not necessary for you to spend the night. Nausea is a common side effect, and I had a little. Not that big a deal. The nurses were excellent handling my needs. My spouse was in the room until about 7 p.m. when I told her to return to the hotel for a good meal and night's sleep. She returned the next a.m. around 8:30 fully refreshed and ready to help me get out of bed and walk the hallway. Ditto for the second night. I brouhgt my pocket pc and remember emailing my friends, reading the web, etc. to kill time. I was at Johns Hopkins where I do not think they promote overnight stays by the spouses. Hopkins has a number of open and robotic patients admitted/discharged each day. So, I guess there is a good reason for the policy of no overnight stays by the spouse.

wittler
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 104
   Posted 9/30/2006 5:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks SJC,
It's always most helpful to get a male opinion at times like these. It seems most of the time women are making some sort of fuss to try to do what their man would want and they only hit the nail on the head about half the time (or less). Everyone should probably read "Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus" at least once.

Wicket,
You could always pack a small overnight bag and leave it in the car. That way you can go either way. Women aren't the only ones who change their minds at the last minute.

It won't be long before you are looking back on this. You will do great.
Kate
 
My Husband is 52 yrs old
* Diagnosed 7/13/06 with 11.4 PSA, Gleason 7,T2b and Negative Bone and CT scan.
 
* Had Open Radical Prostatectomy on 9/18/06
Gleason was reduced to 6, had negative nodes and negative margins. 75% of the prostate was affected.
 


Swimom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 1732
   Posted 9/30/2006 6:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you SJC!,

It's hard trying to make a person comfortable who has not been through certain situations. No one wants to hurt someones feelings that is only trying to help but, even as a patient I don't necessarily want someone doting on me. Vick knows I prefer to be hugged and left to rest after a while. She's exactly the same way herself. She'll be the first one to tell you, healing is an independent sport. The team work comes in how well we coach each other. Sometimes I have to remind her that coaches aren't supposed to sound like my mother though! Not that I don't appreciate good thoughts, deeds and actions. It isn't necessary. Nurses and Techs have their orders and they have a job to do. If Vick isn't there, they do come around more often.

Leaving did backfire on me once when Vick had surgery and I left. She sent me home and later on had a morphine reaction causing her to code for a minute. Redheads! They just have to be fiesty! I will admit, that was enough to scare a man into sobriety; or into drinking...which ever is more appropriate. It wasn't the first time she's had a reaction so they were prepared to expect something. Just not what they got probably. Good thing the nurse doesn't leave right away after giving a new drug, eh?

Point is, there is always someone close by so worry and get some rest! You'll worry no matter what so I won't bother saying it. Ask if your spouse really wants the company and expect a real answer. Good Luck.

Paul

Wicket
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 9/30/2006 6:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Paul,
I guess that's the maternal part of our make up..Curtis says he feels like a little chick being hovered over by a big hen!!  Well guess I can't help worrying and he's real good about understand  that...hopefully when he's on the mend I will not worry so much and things will get back to normal.
Thanks to everyone for all the input!!
Ellen
 
 
Curtis, 63,  Diagnosed Aug 21, 2006
T1C
Gleason 3+3=6, 3+4=7
PSA 4.10
 
Bone Scan Negative!!
DiVinci surgery scheduled for October 10th
DiVinci rescheduled for October 3rd
 

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