Posted 11/2/2006 6:32 PM (GMT -6)
I appreciate your critique. I stand appropriately chastised! However, permit me the indulgence of a response; (I do so love a debate)
"You can stop firghtening the hell out of people any old time now! Not to sound rude...but we need to be promoting less fear, no more, right?"
Such an abrasive commentary can not only be interprepted as rude, but equally insulting. Discounting the patronage, clearly, we are in concert that we need to foster "less fear". Given that, perhaps our methodology might differ, though.
If you'll re-read my earlier post(s) and most recently, Bills' (jetguy) reply, you'll note that my preface and intent was not to cause any undue alarm or concern. In fact, I tried poking some fun at it. Even Bill (jetguy), commented that it helped him, sic, - George, your post did NOT cause me undue concern. I was well and truly and duly concerned before. In fact, your observations have helped me..
I attempted to lighten the subject by injecting, what I felt was an appropriate measure of symballistic humor. To thumb my nose at the disease, if you will. This disease is serious, no question. And to suggest less, is irresponsible. But, if we don't develop some layer of humor as a defensive mechanism, it can be depressing. Clearly, if you, or anyone else felt offended, alarmed or concerned, my apologies indeed.
My intent for beginning this post, in the first place, was merely to educate the uninitiated that, we as cancer patients and consumers, do indeed have treatment/testing options. Some, like yourself, might prefer the more traditional approach, others, like me, for perhaps a variety of reasons, might desire an alternative. Please, rest assured, I did not presume a literary license to promote fear and concern. Far from it. And, I'm personally appalled and insulted that anyone should interpret such a bias and intent.
I personally know of four cases, even one from my own urologist, who were not informed of biopsy procedural choices. They simply were not disclosed to the patient. Patient didn't ask - doctor didn't disclose. So, doctor (not mine) pursued his personal preference. Had these patients exercised appropriate due dilligence, or otherwise been apprised that they had a choice, one could only assume that they might have exercised an alternative to the traditional approach. Hence, my post.
I simply weaved my own limited experience into my post to support that, a viable option does exist. Even at 6'3", 215lbs, Viet Nam Vet and survivor, I'll be the first to admit that I when it comes to pain, I've had enough to last 2 lifetimes. I want a choice! Choices are critical! Especially now. And having a working "laymans" knowledge of this disease, combined with exposure to first hand experiences, via this forum, should be fundemental in reinforcing all of our decision making processes. Such an informed foundation allows us to make the choices appropriate for "us".
What may be no big deal to you, might indeed be a big deal to me or someone else. In my opinion, to plant in a "newbie's" mind that, "few men actually have a difficult time with a biopsy" is, at best, inappropriate. Your analysis might be right, but, an equal argument could be supported that it might just foster a stigma of, "hey, if I don't go the traditional route, like all the other guys on here, then, hey, I'm not an average guy". Well, so what if your not??? Who do you have to impress anyway?? I'll tell you who - Absolutely nobody, that's who! We're all different. We all process the unknown, the uncertain, fear and pain differently. We're all individuals. God made us that way for a reason.
And, I don't accept that, just because a "newbie" might read where some guy said on a forum that, "few men actually have a difficult time with a biopsy" , that, since its written, it must be true. What a load! I'm different that you. You're different than me.The newbie is different than both of us. Distilling the procedure to that level as a proclamation is misleading. Here's an exerpt of my reply to SJC: (Some guys have obviously have a higher level of tolerance, and subsequently no problems with the traditional approach. Some though, like me, want a menu of alternatives. Or perhaps, as I've discovered recently, some didn't even know they had a choice.)
I also acknowledge your concern, as follows:
"My concern? Somebody might read your posts and be so afraid that he won't seek diagnosis and treatment until it's too late."
I don't agree with your concern. I, as well, don't mean to appear rude, but you're making an unfounded assumption. My hope is that everyone beginning this journey realizes that, at each and every juncture, they do have decisions, choices and selections to make. And clearly, I trust that my posts did not cloud any of those processes for anyone.
None of us should not be so intimidated by the process, the disease or by our doctors, that we don't realize there can be alternative approaches. I would not presume to sugguest to anyone, that the approach I exercised for my biopsy is the appropriate one for everyone - again, though, I personally feel that "everyone" should have a choice.
As for concerns, I could support an equally defensible argument that a newly diagnosed patient, finding this site for the first time, might be so intimidated by your critical review of my post and your subsequent assumptions, that it precludes the guy from submitting a post at all. But, I'll let it be.
"Putting fear to rest so men aren't put to rest permanently should be a major goal for us veterans, right?"
Well, I do agree with you on this point! However, I'm not as far along as you. Putting fear to rest, can be a significant challenge. We each deal with it in our own unique and personalized way. I personally choose to identify the fear, break it down into digestible elements and segments then prioritize it, assume ownership of it, then - find someway to poke some humor at it! Its not as scary that way. It never goes away, it just makes it easier to live with it.
"Do ya think we could move in a slightly different direction with this? Maybe promote that it wasn't so bad after all? Paul"
As for "moving in a slightly different direction", why don't we just drop the who thing? Again, if you'll note my post, I never implied that it was bad - afterall, I don't even remember it!! That's my point.
Again, if my post or replies offended, alarmed or concerned, anyone, you indeed have my apologies. Clearly, it was not my intent.
Cancer is what we HAVE
Cancer Survivors is who we'll be!!