Hi Jcook ~
Just a little note to let you know our thoughts and prayers are with you!
Take one-day-at-a-time and know that we are never promised tomorrow so make the best of the gift you’ve been given….. TODAY….. enjoy each moment. And when our journey is finished here on earth… know that it has been a journey well worth traveling with nothing left ~ not done J and celebrate the life we’ve lived.
What a GIFT!!!! One-Day-At-A-Time……
Yesterday was history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That’s why it’s called the Present.
Let me start off by stating that Swimom is definitely not a coward. Her words are very heartfelt!!! And we have the highest regard for her opinions, advice, and knowledge…..
Jcook… our thoughts and prayers have been with you and will remain with you and your father. Looking at the whole picture…. It reminds me of my mom’s situation and I’m sure you’ve come to realize that the time is near for your dad to take his final step in this journey. Once the cancer spreads to other areas it truly is a matter of time. When that time will be ~ no one really knows…. So enjoy today….. It could be 1 week or 1 month or 1 year…. just know that we have the opportunity now… to close any doors that need to be closed and open any doors that need to be opened….
This is my opinion…. And I feel comfortable sharing it…
The best thing is to make sure he is comfortable and in no pain. There will be a time you will need to call in hospice if he wishes to remain at home… and I hope you will look into this. This organization helps the whole family and you can rest assured that your father will be given a comfortable ending. I think the main thing any of us want ~ is to not suffer. And my experience with hospice has been very positive.
You are very fortunate to be so close!! You have time to say what needs to be said, things you don’t want left unsaid… in a since knowing the end is near makes a difference. This is a blessing in some cases… not all ~ I understand… but when someone dies in an accident/sudden death…. it takes a much longer time for closure… so feel blessed in the since that you have the time to talk and hold him.
Remember ~ …. It is so important to let him know ~ you’re going to be okay!!!
The night before my sister and I were to fly out to be with her….we received a call that they didn’t expect my mom to make it through the night. She had taken a turn they didn’t expect…. She was 3000 miles away (Canada)…. our plane reservations had been made 2 weeks before to arrive on the Tuesday~ to receive this call was totally out of the dark!!! We arrived at 3:30 p.m. on Tuesday and she passed on to her final journey at 2:15 a.m. Wednesday. We had 13 hours to be with her.
She had metastatic cancer and had only been diagnosed on the Wednesday before after a routine chest x-ray when she admitted herself to the hospital after suffering 7 weeks with the diagnosis of Gall Bladder. She was on the waiting list for Gall Bladder surgery when she couldn’t stand the pain any longer….
So ~ take the time now to spend extra time with your father and when it’s time….let him know you will be okay …. This will make it easier for him.
We said a special prayer just the 3 of us and in that prayer we told my mom… that it was okay for her to leave us now... that we needed this time (to sing to her, to brush her hair, and to kiss her, and to talk to her) and we were so comforted by having this time …but now ~ it was time for her to start her new journey with all her old friends who were waiting for her. I truly believe this was the turning point….. she knew we were going to be okay because we had each other.
We were standing with our hands on her heart as she took her last breath… and it was very peaceful…
I share this with you because I when I shared this with a co-worker (her mom had been terminally ill for 5 years) and 6 months later she came to me and said that the ending for her mom was a much greater peace for all of them ~ because I shared with her about my mom. So ~ I feel comfortable sharing this with you.
To help your mother out during the period when you know it’s time…. Make sure friends come in and help her…. She won’t want to leave your dad… So plan to have friends come in at different times….to sit with him, read to him, or just to be there ~ she will be more inclined to take a few minutes and she can go lie down and will be comforted knowing he’s not alone… this would be a great gift they can give to your mom….
Sending extra strength to you and your family….for the stepping-stones that are in your path at this time…. Our hearts go out to you!
In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy
“God Bless You”
It's a little prayer ~ "God BlessYou"
...but it means so much each day,
It means may angels guard you
and guide you on your way.