Your wife is not anal! And if she is, I must be too! For some reason I hated my husband referring to the "undergarmets" as diapers! I guess your wife and I just think that diapers are for babies and undergarmets are for adults! It's really not a big deal, just the difference in our way of thinking I guess.
I did lay down the law though when my husband at first referred to his penis as "limpdick" after the surgery! Now that was to much. Besides breaking my heart to hear him refer to himself as that, even in jest, I felt it would be detrimental to him psycologically in the long run. Fortunately, it did not stay that way for long!
Swimom, my husband used to take the velcro strap off because he didn't want to get it wet. But...he was to afraid that he might somehow accidentally pull the tube out of his penis while showering. He just felt more secure having the tube strapped to his leg in the shower as well. He also didn't like the unsupported weight of the tube pulling on his penis either. The sweatbands worked great because they stretch to make for a good fit on the thigh and they were comfortable for him.