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Tamu Update

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Pete trips again!
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2006
Posts : 1899
Posted 11/16/2006 7:37 AM (GMT -8)
PS, I'm really sorry to hear about your Mother, I will pray for both of you.

Pete
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hamala
Regular Member
Joined : May 2006
Posts : 54
Posted 11/16/2006 8:12 AM (GMT -8)

Hi Tamu,

I was always told you will have good days and bad days with the leakage.  When your body gets tired, you may leak more.  Also, too many kegels is not good either.  If you fatique the muscles too much they can't do their job.  My doc says when guys call him about increase leakage he asks about kegels, and most of them are doing them too often and not giving them a chance to build in strength.  I hope this helps, hang in there.  Glen will tell you, it does get better.  It seems the 3 month mark is when most guys are close to completely dry.  I was one of the lucky ones in that I was 90% dry in two weeks, others take up to 3 months.  Some gush, some squirt, and all of us are challenged to be patient.  The good news is that it will get better!!!

Mike

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M. Kat
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2006
Posts : 715
Posted 11/16/2006 10:55 AM (GMT -8)
Tamu,

First I want to say how sorry I am to hear about your mother. She certainly has had a long life! I hope her remaining time here will be peaceful and painfree. I will keep her and your family in my prayers. I know it's easier said than done, but hang in there with the leakage. you'll find it harder when you are physically active. Jeff had some leakage the other night when he farted. that was a surprise because he stopped wearing pads a month ago. Continue to do those kegels and live your life.... kat
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Tamu
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2006
Posts : 626
Posted 11/20/2006 7:00 AM (GMT -8)
PCa Friends,

Okay, it has been a week now since I was defolyed. Here is an update.

The first few days after the catheter was removed I was disappointed as I was gushing at times and felt I had no control at all. My bladder was not filling up enough to hardly justify making a trip to the bathroom. Then on about Thursday things got better. I quit gushing and went to dribbling. I was dry at night and begin to have somewhat normal urination. I did leak worst in the afternoons and when I walk. I continued to wear the male undergards pads but began putting a medium absorbant poise pad inside of it to get an idea how fast it became soaked. I found that it would last a good 12 hours. This morning I decided to go with only the poise pad. It sure is a lot more comfortable. I think that I will be bale to stay with them. I have not used half of the 52 count male undergards so I think I am doing fairly well. I did get over confident one night over the weekend and had a couple of JD's and water. That was a mistake as it did cause loss of control. I learned my lesson. No more alcoholic drinks for a while.

On the erection front my wife and I played around on Saturday morning. I did not get an erection but I did have the feelings there for one. It was good to be intimate and I was able to bring my wife to orgasm. This made me feel good. This morning I woke up with just the hint of an erection. It was enough to make the penis stand up but not much length to it. I will be starting the Viagra therapy prescribed by my surgeon on Wednesday night. I am anxiously awaiting to see what happnes.

Thanks to all the prayers and comments concerning my mother. She is now home from the hospital and under Hospice care. It has been frustrating for me as none of the doctors are saying how long she has and with me being 12 hours away and not wanting to make the drive with my perineum still somewhat tender this just complicates my life more then I want right now. There are plenty of relatives there to see to her so that is not a problem. I have talked to her on the phone and she has taken the news well. She will be 92 next month and is tired and ready to go so this will be a celebration as she will find the peace of the Lord.

Tamu
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jetguy
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2006
Posts : 750
Posted 11/20/2006 5:38 PM (GMT -8)

Tamu,  yes your mother's passing will be a celebration, but it is nonetheless sad.  I am pleased that your recovery is progressing so well.  The best to you and yours.

Regards,

Bill

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M. Kat
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2006
Posts : 715
Posted 11/21/2006 5:02 AM (GMT -8)
wow, Tamu, if you have sensations and some hardening without the Viagra, wait until you start taking it! HA! you also did not mention if you've had an orgasm yet. boy, I've never asked a "stranger" if he's had an orgasm before. feels weird! HA HA! anyway, you can have one even if you don't have an erection. yes, it's true. I'm sure your mother understands why you can't be there right now. she probably feels badly that she couldn't be there with you for your surgery. you'll have to plan a trip once you feel much better. I'm sure the doctors have no idea how much time she has. there are some things they just don't know. take care and God bless, kat
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Tamu
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2006
Posts : 626
Posted 11/21/2006 5:39 AM (GMT -8)
PCa Friends,

Just t let you know my mother passed away last night. She went very peacefully. The end came a lot quicker then anyone thought but she was ready to go. I did get to talk to her on the phone Sunday so that makes me feel a little better. We are headed out to Texas today which is a 10 to 11 hour drive. We will probably stop for the night somewhere along the way as my wife has restless legs syndrome and I am not sure that I could sit for that long. Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts.

Tamu
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dawgfan
Regular Member
Joined : Aug 2006
Posts : 148
Posted 11/21/2006 5:52 AM (GMT -8)
God bless you and your family. Drive safely.

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lawink
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2006
Posts : 621
Posted 11/21/2006 6:08 AM (GMT -8)
Thoughts and prayers go with you through the miles. Be safe!
Linda & Bob
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jetguy
Veteran Member
Joined : Sep 2006
Posts : 750
Posted 11/21/2006 6:15 AM (GMT -8)
I am sorry to hear about your mother. Please drive carefully and don't overdo anything.

Regards,

Bill
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bluebird
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2006
Posts : 2543
Posted 11/21/2006 10:28 AM (GMT -8)
Typed @ 11:30 p.m. Monday   ~ Sent from Library @ 1:26 p.m.   Hi Tamu,   We swung by the library today, Tuesday, to send a message I had typed…last night.   I just found your new posting that your mom is on her final journey. I am going to go ahead and send our message to you…   Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family and an extra special one for your mom.   Having hospice in is truly a blessing.   They will make sure your mom is comfortable and will make sure she is not in pain…. So let this be a comfort to you.   There’s no doubt in my mind that your mother would want you to stay right where you are and recover from your surgery.   Just a special thing to remember…. You’re mom’s ready for her next wonderful journey…. And to know she will be with you each and every moment.   It truly is a comfort to know she won’t be 12 hours away.   She will be right there with you on every stepping-stone ahead of you….   I know because my mom passed on 2 years ago…   This truly is a warm feeling knowing this.   Our thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you as you heal.   Take one day at a time and know that we are all here for you.   You’ve done so well ~ continue on…..   Each day you will be stronger and things will start working….. but when you overdue it ~ your body is definitely going to let you know about it.   Especially that little sphincter muscle…   Be good to yourself.   In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy  
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bluebird
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2006
Posts : 2543
Posted 11/21/2006 10:29 AM (GMT -8)
Tamu & Family,   A smile,           a touch,                    a gentle laugh remembered,           a voice softly                    whispered in the wind…   May the memories held deep within your heart           help to soothe your spirit at this time.     Our thoughts and prayers will follow you as you travel.   Be safe and know we care.   In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy  
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M. Kat
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2006
Posts : 715
Posted 11/22/2006 4:40 AM (GMT -8)
Tamu and family, my thoughts and prayers are with you. your mother did not suffer and knows your love for her. kat
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bluebird
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2006
Posts : 2543
Posted 11/26/2006 8:22 PM (GMT -8)
Hi Tamu, Glad your home!..... Hope things went smoothly with your travels. Our thoughts are with you! Lee & Buddy
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2busymom
Regular Member
Joined : Nov 2006
Posts : 118
Posted 11/27/2006 5:49 AM (GMT -8)
Hi Tamu,

I'm sorry to hear about your mom but it's wonderful the peace you can have knowing she is with the Lord. It is very difficult with the ages we are at - dealing with our own health issues, and our parents'. I've noticed that several times on this board - lots of families dealing with things going on with their parents. It's very difficult to be everywhere we think we need to be. And it's frustrating when we want to be helping but find it to be impossible.

Please don't neglect your own healing as you deal with these other issues. I will be praying for you.

becky
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Tamu
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2006
Posts : 626
Posted 11/27/2006 6:41 AM (GMT -8)
PCa Friends,

I want to thank everyone for the prayers and thoughts on my mother's passing. Mother had breast cancer 45 years ago and had a breast removed and a lot of tissue. The cancer was bad and at the time the doctors did not give her much of a chance. She survived that until recently and was found to have metastesized cancer that caused her death. The surprise is that the doctors believe that the source of the mestatesized cancer was the reoccurance of her breast cancer even after 45 years.

The events of the last week got me off my walking schedule so I have not progressed as much as I had hoped. It is now two weeks after removal of the catheter and I am now using the Poise pads as my leakage is now down to dribbles. If I am not walking or bending I do not leak hardly at all. I have learned to tense the muscles down there when I sneeze or cough and that prevents any leakage. I have good days and bad days with the leakage and always in the late afternoons the leakage gets worse. I am a little disappointed that I have not progressed faster but when I look back and it has only been two weeks I feel that I am making good progress.

On the ED front not much is happening. I started the 25 mg of Viagra every night last Wednesday. I cannot say that it has done much although there is some lengthening. I still have some aching in my penis located right behind the head. Has anyone else experience that condition? It does not ache all of the time but when it does it is uncomfortable. Tomorrow night I will be taking my first 100 mg of Viagra. I am hoping something comes up. My wife and I have been intimate several times in the past week and I did have an orgasm without an erection. It felt close to being the same as those before the surgery. That was a relief as I did not know if it would be the same.

Wednesday will be four weeks from surgery and my lifting restrictions will expire. I look forward to picking my grandson up. He does not understand why I am not picking him up when he holds his arms out. Looking for a good week.

Tamu
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Pete trips again!
Veteran Member
Joined : Nov 2006
Posts : 1899
Posted 11/27/2006 7:48 AM (GMT -8)
Hey Tamu,

It's always hard to find something to say when a friends family member passes away. I hope you don't mind me calling you "friend?" It is amazing that the cancer came back 45 years later! I have to say, I sure wouldn't mind getting another 45 years with no reoccurance. God Bless her! As far as your 25 mg of Viagra, Man thats nothing! I'm sure if you felt something with that much, 100 will help alot! It's a great thing you had an orgasm already. It took me alot longer than that and it came when I was about 70% hard. Jeeze! It scared me to death when it happened. I have to say, mine felt alot different than before surgury. I think it was more like a womens than what I was used to. It grew slowly to a peak but lasted longer and then slowly came down even slower than the climb. It was so long. But it did hurt in several different place. It was a while ago and I don't remember where it hurt, but I remember it did! Anyway, now I can make the Big O last even longer. So hang in there and good luck tonight!
Pete
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dawgfan
Regular Member
Joined : Aug 2006
Posts : 148
Posted 11/27/2006 8:24 AM (GMT -8)
Aching behind the head of the penis may be an indication. I had to go to the doc last Wed due to pain during urination. It was worse when there was a build up like in the middle of the night. I had the sensation of a blockage and back pressure. Turns out the catheter had caused scar tissue and it had to be fixed. Not a pleasant experience. Hope your's is just an ache and nothing more.

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Tamu
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2006
Posts : 626
Posted 11/27/2006 9:05 AM (GMT -8)
Dawgfan,

Whoa, I hope that is not my issue. I do not have any pain during urination. The aching I am getting occurs 2 or 3 times a day and last maybe 10 to 15 minutes. Sometimes it is associated with a feeling like you get when you start getting an erection. I only started to get it after the catheter came out. If I do get an erection I am a little concerned about the pain that may be there. It is going to be an interesting week.

Tamu
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M. Kat
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2006
Posts : 715
Posted 11/27/2006 9:14 AM (GMT -8)
Hang in there Tamu and let your body heal. you might feel pretty well, but your body is still healing internally. I think you have to remind yourself that you are still recovering from major surgery. all things will come eventually. look how well you're doing with the pads. whenever you get frustrated, remind yourself how far you've come and try and be patient with yourself. this is what Jeff and I continue to do... kat
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Tamu
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2006
Posts : 626
Posted 11/30/2006 9:13 AM (GMT -8)

Friends,

Well, I am a little disappointed.  Following the penile rehabilitation program provided by my urologist I had started on 25 mg. of Viagra Wednesday night last week.  On Tuesday I took the prescribed 100 mg of Viagra and my wife and I attempted to make something happen.  I did not even get a sensation of an erection.  The intimacy was great and in the end it was a special time for both of us as I was not in a down mood at the time and just enjoyed the moment as did my wife.  I did not have an orgasm that night but I have had a couple since removal of the catheter and they were just like the ones before surgery so that was encouraging.  The program calls for the repeat of of using 25 mg Viagra for 6 nights without any sexual stimuilation and then the 100 mg with sexual stimulation so we will see what happens next week.

On a positive note my leakage has improved greatly.  I no longer am having the evening leakage that I did have.  I sleep all night without having to hit the bathroom and I am dry in the morning with that wonderful morning urination just like before.  A pad will last all day and I just dribble now and then.  I primarily dribble when I squat down to tie a shoe or pick up something.  Sneezing and coughing does not cause leakage as I have gotten to where it is automatic to tense the muscle in the pelvic to keep it from happening.  The last couple of days I have noticed that I can hold it longer and have cut down the bathroom trips to no more then once every 2 to 3 hours.  I am walking a lot with no leakage.  I feel really good about this and will probably try no pads here shortly.

Tomorrow will be the one month anniversity of my surgery and I know without a doubt that my decision to have the surgery was the right one.  Life is great and it will get better.

Tamu

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M. Kat
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2006
Posts : 715
Posted 11/30/2006 9:39 AM (GMT -8)
Tamu, we fully understand your frustration with the erections and the elation about the lack of leakage. hang in there - it will all get better. patience..patience...kat
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2busymom
Regular Member
Joined : Nov 2006
Posts : 118
Posted 11/30/2006 10:58 AM (GMT -8)
Hey Tamu,

Jeff and I can totally relate to your experience/frustration. We even felt like the first time he took the viagra we saw more response than subsequent times. Part of the difficulty is not knowing what to expect. Jeff was going to call the dr. today to make sure that even if we don't see a real response, is it still working internally to get more blood flow to those important nerves. And if there's supposed to be a more obvious respnse, maybe we need to try a different medication.

A couple things I have read that can effect the body's response to viagra - alcohol, and taking it on an empty stomach. Supposedly an empty stomach helps. One of our problems was that Jeff had such a horrible headache the first time he took it he now takes 4 ibuprofen to make sure that doesn't happen. He doesn't like taking that on an empty stomach. So I'm sure we're not getting the full benefit of the viagra.

Everyone says be patient, so we're trying! We're only 2 weeks ahead of you in the process. We'll keep you posted if we hit on anything that helps!

bec
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Swimom
Veteran Member
Joined : Apr 2006
Posts : 1732
Posted 11/30/2006 1:15 PM (GMT -8)
Tamu,

It isn't doing you any good to stress about something that you were informed about in advance...i.e, post-op erections and the return of function. It's a time dependent process in most cases. These lucky few who have return of function early are just that...anatomically fortunate. Nerves regenrate over time. Be patient and just let life happen in the mean time.
If 6 or so months have passed and you still see absolutely nothing happening, then feel free to stress all you want. This early in the game, the only thing stress will do is make recovery more lengthy...God knows you and yours have had enough stress lately. Don't let the ED thing be one of the causes so soon.

Swim
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lawink
Veteran Member
Joined : Oct 2006
Posts : 621
Posted 11/30/2006 4:06 PM (GMT -8)
Bec - your experience exactly describes our current one . . .only Bob is on Cialis twice per week. We too noticed a small difference in firmness, but only on the very first time. The doctor told him to take 20 mg twice weekly until he seems him next in February, so we are thinking it IS definitely a slow process. The doctor says 6 months and nothing is hopeless unless there's no improvement in 2 years, soooooo it is really patience, patience, patience.

;o) Linda
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