We're so glad that you joined us and that you are able to share your experiences. When we first learned my husband had pc, he didn't want to tell anyone either. I'm not sure why. I think there were several reasons. First, he was so scared and just new it was going to be the end of his life. Like you, the tears wouldn't stop at first. It was heartbreaking. Another reason he didn't want to tell anyone, was because he, like his co-workers, believed in the "old school" about pc, that if you have treatment, you will never be able to be continent or have sex again. He thought he would be inferior than other men and didn't want any of them to know.
Now however, after educating ourselves, having the surgery, having almost conquered incontinence and absolutely conquered ED, we can see how unrealistic all these feelings were. It is just at first you fear the unknown and having never gone through this or knowing what to expect, people naturally think the worse.
Since learning all these things, we have taken the opportunity to try and educate all his co-workers and friends and family and really rallied for the cause telling them all to make sure and be checked. That if pc is caught early, it is curable. Many men only know how pc used to be treated a long time ago when it did leave men with permanent ED and often times permanent incontinence and it scares them to death. The medical field has come so far in this treatment now that those outcomes are very, very rare but most people are unaware of it. The public really needs to be educated on this issue.
The other thing that helps so much, as you said, is places like this forum and the Real Recovery group you talked about. We are not alone in this. Everybody here has experienced the same feelings and fears and thoughts as everyone else. It is so comforting to know that there is a place of such great support, help and understanding as this forum.
Wishing everyone the best,