Glad you came back.
i dont' like going to the doctor/hospital either (even if I am not the one being treated). I get "white coat" syndrome when having my blood pressure taken sometimes, even though it is usually low!
Are you doing any treatment for your anxiety/social phobia (medication/therapy)? There is a panic/anxiety board on here where you could perhaps get some good suggestions for dealing with anxiety of going to the doctor's appointment? I would imagine that doctor anxiety is not an uncommon problem, and they might have some great advice over there.
In the meantime, could you research urologists in your area and give one a call, or schedule by e-mail. That is the first step, and then you can deal with the anxiety of actually going. I think if you take one step forward, you may be able to face the next step? perhaps it IS just an infection that was missed by the first doc? Also, maybe if you make a list of questions when you go this next time, you will be more prepared for whatever they say and be better able to ask any questions you might have, if you write them down.
Please, let us know when you have scheduled your appointment, and I for one will try to help you get through the anxiety of it!