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End of the fight?

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Prostate Cancer
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Posted 12/20/2006 7:56 AM (GMT -8)

Hello all.  I am new to the forum.  I think I just needed a place to think out loud. 

My father in law has been battling prostate cancer for 10 years.  He had cryosurgery, hormone therapy, chemotherapy and the typical treatments.  I think he is finally nearing the end of his battle.  There has been metastisis to his lumbar spine and ribs. His PSA is now over 1500. 

My husbands family doesn't talk about the disease!  They act as if ignoring it will make it go away.  I just assume everyone handles things in there own way so I don't want to say anything.  Is there anything I can do or say to help during this time?  I feel so helpless. 

I was wondering, too, if someone could give me an idea of time.   With a PSA of over 1500 I would assume that he doesn't have alot of time left.  I can't find any information on survival rates or duration.  I want to prepare my children for the worst but I don't want to panic them either.  I don't know if he has a month, a year, two?  I thank God that prostate cancer has a slow progression and that he has had many, happy years of life even with the cancer.

God bless you all.

Posted 12/20/2006 8:19 AM (GMT -8)
Deare Lynn,

How wonderful that you will have your father, your children's grandfather, for Christmas. Enjoy it and celebrate.

I guess I need to ask how your dad is doing to even begin to guess how long Lynn. A PSA of 1500 is a not a good thing but his general being tells more of a story. Does he have other illness as well? What symptoms are present now?

If you want the honest truth...his life can be measured in months, perhaps weeks. How many can be guessed by signs and symptoms but no one can say for sure. There is not much more to say right now except, enjoy the time you all have today, God Bless.

Swim
Posted 12/20/2006 8:27 AM (GMT -8)
Lyngeo,     Hi welcome to the forum.  I don,t have too many answers for you but I lost my father to Prostate Cancer about 4 years ago. I remrmber a psa of 2000 than he had Radiation and it broght it down for a while. He wasn,t able to walk and then the Radiation got him up and around. Made me think he was going to be around for a while. I guess it got him an extra year,but by this time it was all throgh his body. I mean head"brain" to his toe.The radiation helped with the pain. But at the end we were having trouble getting him in the car to go for treatments. He was wincingwith pain and finally we asked if he wanted to go  for the treatment or not. He said NO. I think he was gone within 1 or 2 weeks of that Day.  I,m sorry if I didn,t sugar coat it.But he was a Great Man and I miss Him.    Shepla       PS. Make sure his male children get tested every year!! PSA I just had a Radical Prosectomy and am doing GREAT.

Posted 12/20/2006 9:28 AM (GMT -8)
Hi! LynnGeo,   You’ve come to the right place….. We will be here for you!   And post any and all thoughts as you need to.   It truly does help to have a place to “unload” with others who are receptive to your journey.   Thank you for coming on and sharing.   It is a part of the journey that we’ve not experienced first hand and we are so thankful at this time having an undetectable PSA.   It was nice to read where your father-in-law has had happy years since being diagnosed and treatments.   Quality of life is very important to us!   Quantity is right up there but Quality 1 st .   I don’t have any information about the time frame once the cancer spreads…. I   know my mom had her first pain in July and died in September….   A friend’s mom is battling metastatic cancer and has been for the past 11 months.   So ~ not sure there’s a definite answer.   How old are your children??   A re there grandchildren?   If so ~ I have the name of a wonderful book on death that you may want to look into.     Each day that we awake to a new dawn I give thanks for today.   We know that we are not promised tomorrow so having today is the most precious gift.     The family will definitely have to deal with the situation as his body starts to give up….   I have found  Hospice  to be a wonderful source of comfort to the individual and to the surrounding family members.   You might contact them for brochures.   You could maybe find a way to introduce the family to this at some point.   They may say thank you ~ then again they may not…..   I’m really glad you’ve reached out to us.   We will help you through this…   Do you have close family on your side to help you?   Guess what… you now have your forum family to help you!   So you’re definitely on the +plus side J   A good practice is taking one-day-at-a-time… no matter what the situation is.   Obviously the time will come and you have time to make sure all is said that needs to be said and all is done that needs to be done.     It's a little prayer "God BlessYou"   ...but it means so much each day, It means may angels guard you and guide you on your way.   Our thoughts and prayers will be with you.     In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy     P.S.   Just went to post this and see that Swimom and Shepla have just replied…   Take heart that you have friends here.   Lean on us!!!  
Posted 12/20/2006 11:36 AM (GMT -8)
LynnGeo, I don't think anyone really knows how much longer your father-in-law will have. it's a shame that his family won't talk about it. a lot of people are like that. does your husband? I echo what others have said - enjoy the time you have and make the best of it. you could just explain to the children (if they are old enough) that their grandfather has a terminal illness and that they should enjoy each day with him. here's a big hug for all of you, kat
Posted 12/20/2006 4:27 PM (GMT -8)
Hello LynnGeo,

I'm sorry to hear of your father-in-law's condition, and I understand the helpless feeling you have. Each family chooses the way they will deal with these most serious matters, and all that you can do is offer as much comfort and support as you can. I have just gone through this experience with my 90 year old mother-in-law that lived with us for the last 6 years. I wish the very best of luck to you, your father-in-law, and the family. I will also say a prayor for his well-being.

Glen
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