Ben said, "Our lives are at risk, our dignity is taken away, and our manhood is threatened."
Pete said, "I'm really ******* pissed off about it!" (If you're not, it's 'cause you don't know what is going on.)
This is a deadly serious business, both physicaly and emotionally. One's choice of treatment doesn't change that fact. I expect that even the most well balanced of us is real unhappy about all this.
I began my radiation treatment last Tuesday and had difficulty controlling my emotions on the drive home. In fact, I stopped for a cup of coffee to give me some time to compose myself. I have been just kind of generally unhappy all week. It's easier for me than for you guys because my side effects will happen more slowly over time so I will have more time to adapt and adjust. Yours is a huge blow that happens instantly.
I have thought most of my life that I have got what I deserved. If I had done more, I would have received more. This doesn't necessarily mean that I'm satisfied with my lot in life. It just means that with me, there seems to be a direct cause and effect. When I smoked, I got sick in the winter and coughed all the time. When I quit, I didn't get sick, or cough. When I eat right and exercise I feel better about myself and have more confidence. When I don't, I don't.
Prostate cancer is different. None of us deserved it, but we got it anyway. This may be an instance where what we do with what we have, is more important than what we have. Easy to say - not so easy to do. The thing I work on the most is being pleasant to those around me. Since I'm grounded that would be my family. They shouldn't suffer just because I'm unhappy. With friends and neighbors I put on a brave and happy face. They deserve no less and in so doing it helps me feel better. At least at that moment. And later when I recall that I did the right thing.
While my daily treatments are painless and short, they are undignified and unpleasant. The outcome is not known. Hey Pete! I'm just ******* pissed off about the whole thing!