I'll spare you all the "sorry you're here, etc." and just try to respond to a couple of your questions.
I can only speak for me. I had the Divinvi surgery on 9/21/06. Cathiter was a swift pain, but out in a few days. I regained continence quickly and at four months, have only minor dribbling, once in a while, upon finishing urinating. For some unexplained reason, some days are worse than others. Otherwise, totally dry and NO leaking.
In reality, most guys my age have have some form of BPH and have this problem anyway, so I can't say that the surgery made it any worse. It may actually be better, but not perfect.
You also seemed very concerned about the sexual aspect. With a little help from the "little blue pill" sex was possible at about 6 weeks or so. Occasionally, it doesn't work, but most times it is reliable, predictable, and yes, satisfying.
I'm just now four months past surgery and looking forward to being less reliant on the pill. I never needed it before surgery. However, once a guy gets to be my age, needing a little help from the pill isn't at all unsual.
So, all-in-all, in my case, I feel very fortionate and satisfied with the outcome and would choose the surgery again without hesitation. I'm sure you know that everyone is different, and so much depends on the skill of your surgeon.
If you have other specific questions, ask again and I'll try to respond.