Everyone here got at least a little depressed when the doc told us we have cancer. It is a natural reaction to possibly the worst news we will ever hear. The problem gets worse when we shut out our loved ones and refuse to look for the light. Darkness breeds darkness and until we make a move outward, even a small first step, we stay in the dark. It sounds like your husband is in the depths. When we feel that way, we don't want to reach out for help. It feels like nothing is working and nothing can help. It is a very self-defeating and dangerous place to be. But there is hope.
Take small steps with him. Tell him of our experiences here on the forum. Assure him that things will be better once treatment has started to work. Get him to go to a doc that can help him and if he won't go, you go and get advice on how to proceed. There is plenty of depression around so there are plenty of people who can treat it. Some of us just naturally come out of it on our own and there are others (like me) that had to get help.
So, take things one day at a time and don't let yourself be drug down too. Take care of yourself. Get your sleep and eat right. Do some fun things once in a while to renew your spirits. You aren't being selfish for you can't help him unless you are fit.
We are all praying and hoping for you both. Please stay with us, we need you as much as you need us...
Age 72. Diagnosed 11/03/06. PSA 7.05. Stage T2B Gleason 3+3.
RRP 12/7/06. Nerves and nodes okay.
Pathological stage: T2B. Gleason 3+4. Cancer confined to prostate.
PSA on 1/3/07 - 0.04. Next PSA on 4/4/07.
"Cancer feeds on fear - starve it to death."