Jeff & Becky's journey - update

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Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 118
   Posted 3/13/2007 6:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey everyone,

I've been gone a while, since the end of January. Although my dad had been improving and was keeping up the good fight against the cancer he had, he suddenly developed pneumonia, and went down hill fast. my 4 siblings and I were all able to make it to his bedside on Feb. 3rd. My brother had told him it was time, there was nothing more the docs could do but we were on our way, and to hold on, and he did. He was an amazing fighter. He died that night, once we'd all said our goodbyes. I have the peace of knowing I will see him again one day, and in the meantime I'm sure he's quite busy worshipping his Savior and exploring heaven!

My brothers and sister and I had an incredible time together. It was like we were therapists for each other. The night my dad died we all squished in to my brother's little house, put some air mattresses on the floor, and had a slumber party. We hadn't all been under the same roof like that since I was a teenager. It was awesome.

The funeral was beautiful. my brother Rick shared, and I sang a song my dad wrote after he became a Christian. Because he was a Marine, the Marines sent three reservists over in their dress blues. They played taps, and presented my brother with the flag on my dad's coffin. My dad would've been so proud.

One of the best things we did that week is go through 30 pounds of pictures - (literally - I fedexed them to my sister's house and the box weighed 30 lbs.) There were photeo albums that my dad had, and boxes my mom had. Many of these were photos we had never seen, of my dad as a child, and in the Marines. We put together a wonderful slide presentation set to music of his life. At the end of the service everyone there gathered around to watch the slide show. We then went to the crypt side and people shared what my dad meant to them. All week long we'd been hearing from his friends, far and near about how they loved him, and how much he loved us. It really kept us going that week, as did the kindness of strangers.

I really thought I was going to have more time with my dad - I have a lot of regrets about questions I never asked him, talks we never had. I guess everyone has some issues like that when they lose someone. From what people tell me it gets easier, but it takes a while. I just feel a bit raw now- I have lots of crying spells. One of my pastors told me that he'd heard somewhere that when we cry tears of grief, it released a healing enzyme that is only released through that type of crying. I'm counting on being a lot healthier in the next few months!

The week I got home Jeff and I and our youngest son drove to Pensacola to see our son who is stationed there. We had a wonderful time, other than when Jeff was almost crushed by our car. He was fixing the breaks and had the car up on a jack and had forgotten to set the emergency break. It started to come down while he was under it, and he literally rolled out seconds before it would've crused it. It came down at and angle and injured his shoulders, and the bumper caught his ear as he rolled and tore it to the cartlidge. He had to have 7 stitches to put it back together, and then had to wear a bandage that made him look like he'd had brain surgery. ( We had to have something to laugh at, and he did look funny). He head and face were scraped as the bumper brushed by them. Of course he hasn't heard the end of it from his buddies, but I know the Lord was protecting him (from his own carelessness).

I haven't had a chance to check on very many posts, but I hope everyone else is staying safe and experiencing the same grace we have. I have a few "technical" questions Ill being up in my next post - it doesn't seem right being concerned with my husband's erections after just sharing about how he was almost crushed -

husband Jeff 45 years old, diagnosed 8/25/06
PSA 2.1, 2 of 12 samples at 3% & 4%, involving 1 side of prostate
Gleason 3+3=6 in both samples
laparoscopic radical prost. 10/17/06
cancer in both sides of prostate, positive in one area of margin
first PSA results 1/07 <0.01%

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 357
   Posted 3/13/2007 6:57 PM (GMT -6)   
My condolences to you in your time of loss.

When my father died a few years ago, my mom, sisters amd I went through a lot of old family pictures as well, and had a blast! Memories are a great tool for the grieving process.
Prostate cancer diagnosed:  May 15, 2006 (age 40)
Gleason score:  3+3=6
daVinci radical prostatectomy:  July 25, 2006
size of tumor:  approx 1.1 inches
post-surgery Gleason score:  3+4=7; negative margins from surgery
number of pads/day at 3 months after surgery:  3 to 5
number of pads/day at 4 months after surgery:  1 to 2
1st post-surgery PSA:  0 (Nov 2006)
2nd post-surgery PSA:  0 (Feb 2007)
ongoing post-surgery treatment:  Cialis every other day, Viagra "on-demand", ErecAid pump daily Cialis every other day, ErecAid pump twice daily (when I can manage it)

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2542
   Posted 3/13/2007 7:52 PM (GMT -6)   

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Grief is like waves in the ocean:

At first the waves come in fast and hard,

But as time goes on,

The waves become less intense and further apart."

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  ~ ~ ~ ~

  ~ ~


Dear Becky,


Your dad started a new and wondrous journey on what would have been my mom’s 84th birthday…  Your travels are so similar to ours when we got the call and she was 3000 miles away.  We arrived at 3:30 and she passed on 12 hours later.  No communication ~ but I know in my heart that she knew we were there and gave us that time to be with her. 


My sister and I had quality time driving back across Canada then down to Louisiana and then heading home to North Carolina.  A wonderful time of remembering… and bonding closer together since it’s just the 2 of us… now. 


It’s been 2 ½ years ~ and the verse above is so true.  Let yourself ride the waves ~ don’t fight or struggle with them…  and it is true about the tears of grief, they release a healing enzyme and your body heals and the mind and heart never forget.


Thank you for sharing your heart with us… we hold it gently and are here for you!


Take time to heal…


May happy memories replace the sadness in your heart.

Tenderly…  may time heal your sorrow,

Gently…  may friends ease your pain,

Softly…  may peace replace heartache,

    And may warmest memories remain.



Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. 

In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy

mama bluebird - Lee & Buddy… from North Carolina

Link to our personal journey…>>>     Our Journey ~ Sharing is Caring 

April 3, 2006  53 on surgery day

RRP / Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy with "wide excision"

PSA 4.6   Gleason  3+3=6    T2a   Confined to Prostate

2nd PSA 02-06-2007 Less than 0.1 Non-Detectable :)

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 118
   Posted 3/13/2007 9:56 PM (GMT -6)   
Raheeb, buddy & Lee,

Thanks so much for your encouraging words. It is sweet to find the blessings through these painful times. I'm the oldest of 5, my sister 10 years younder with the the boys in between. I was often the caregiver, keep the family in order, especially after my parents split up. One thing that was sweet was that my brothers stepped up - they really were so strong for my sister and I - very protective and comforting. Kind of a role change, and it meant a lot to me.

husband Jeff 45 years old, diagnosed 8/25/06
PSA 2.1, 2 of 12 samples at 3% & 4%, involving 1 side of prostate
Gleason 3+3=6 in both samples
laparoscopic radical prost. 10/17/06
cancer in both sides of prostate, positive in one area of margin
first PSA results 1/07 <0.01%

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 621
   Posted 3/13/2007 10:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Bec
Glad you're back with the forum! Feeling your loss and prayers go out to you and your family.
;o) Linda
Bob (60) had laproscopic prostate surgery on Sept 27, 2006 - 2/12 malignant biopsy samples - gleason 3 + 3 = 6.  Follow up PSA results and pathology results received Nov 14th are NO MORE CANCER!  Gleason changed to a 3 + 4; cancer completely confined to prostate; (even a second more aggressive, previously undetected cancer)      PSA UNDETECTABLE November 2006 AND February 2007.   
Bob also takes Hydroxyurea to control Polycythemia (elevated red & white cells & platelets) has secondary condition . . Myelofibrosis) -- If anyone has experience or knowledge of these, please post us.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1464
   Posted 3/13/2007 10:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Becky,

Sorry about the loss of your dad. Dads are special to daughters. This period of grief is a natural thing for us when we suffer loss. You are talking about it and letting the tears flow. That truly is healing balm.

You have the hopes and prayers of me and my wife. We both have lost our parents many years ago and we miss them too. Now their memory is sweet....

Age 72. Diagnosed 11/03/06. PSA 7.05. Stage T2B Gleason 3+3.
RRP 12/7/06. Nerves and nodes okay.
Pathological stage: T2B. Gleason 3+4. Cancer confined to prostate.
PSA on 1/3/07 - 0.04.  Next PSA on 4/4/07.
 "Cancer feeds on fear - starve it to death."

M. Kat
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 3/14/2007 6:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Bec - sorry to hear about your dad. now he's waiting for you, which will be many years from now! when we went through the same thing with my in-laws, it amazed me how much happiness was there along with the sadness. I'm so glad that Jeff had angels watching over him with the car. whew! take care and God bless, kat
Husband Jeff 56 years old diagnosed July 27, 2006
PSA 6.5, 2 positive areas in biopsy, Gleason 3+3=6
Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy August 30, 2006
pathology report - all clear - cancer gone
1st post-surgery PSA test <0.1, 2nd post-surgery PSA test <0.1, 3rd PSA <0.1
no more pads Oct 12, 2006
first "real" erection with use of pump 12/16/06
3/07 - occasional dribbles and no further improvement in erections

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