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Things About The Journey That Force You To Laugh???

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Tony Crispino
Veteran Member
Joined : Dec 2006
Posts : 8160
Posted 6/14/2007 9:26 PM (GMT -8)
Okay, I have one...
Went to a chinese restaurant after my first IMRT treatment Monday. The fortune cookie:

"Your warmth will radiate upon others around you..."

The lottery numbers lost.

Tony

Post Edited (TC-LasVegas) : 6/20/2007 2:03:13 AM (GMT-6)

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PianoMan
Regular Member
Joined : Feb 2007
Posts : 365
Posted 6/18/2007 8:34 PM (GMT -8)

Too funny Tony!!!

Interestingly though, that fortune-cookie message was right-on.  Your warmth really does radiate upon others around you.  I feel it and know the rest of us here feel it too.

I have a buddy living in Henderson, NV, who just had cryology at UCLA, following radiation therapy last year.  He tells me he hopes his prostate will stay frozen though the brutal desert summer.  Like an internal air conditioner, he says.

Talk about a positive attitude.  Nothing phases this guy.

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PianoMan
Regular Member
Joined : Feb 2007
Posts : 365
Posted 6/18/2007 8:41 PM (GMT -8)
Pasay!! I missed yours!! Totally funny too!! Keep'on smilin.'
Reminds me of the time when I was about four weeks out and I made a weird face in the car as my wife was driving us home from lunch. (I had just let loose in my pad.) My wife looked over and asked me, "How're you doing big guy?" I said, I'm PI$$ED, in more ways than one."
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Cedar Chopper
Regular Member
Joined : Mar 2007
Posts : 432
Posted 6/29/2007 1:46 PM (GMT -8)

First,

These three from Ray & Avis:

Especially for all of us in the ED recovery phase...

I was drinking a Sobe the other day and the slogan under my lid...

"Say Hello To The Little Lizard"

Think I will take that one to the doctor/nurses for my 3 month checkup...

Maybe they can post it on the wall...

P.S.

Another one I got was "Drain The Lizard"...

That works for the incontinace phase...

And "My Lizard My Choice"...

Which works for the PCa treatmernt options...

:-)

God Bless All,  Ray & Avis

***********************

*****************************
Ms. Bluebird,

I just reviewed your latest iteration of Helpful Links.  Thanks again for keeping these threads together!  You remind me of that kid in the movie "Flight of the Navigator." :)

The punch line to this joke is best delivered as suggested in a song written by Leon Russel and made famous by Linda Rondstadt,
"...like a drunk, in a midnight choir..."

              True Blue Friends Forever

Frank Sam and Sam Frank were best of friends.  They did everything together.
They were born on the same day.  Lived on the same street.
They went to the same schools.  Worked the same jobs.
They married sisters and both had two children, a boy and a girl.....

They died on the same day.  However, Frank went UP and Sam went DOWN.

Frank gets to Heaven and St. Peter greets him:  FRANK! HELLO!  CONGRATULATIONS!
SMILE!  You are in Heaven.  You can do anything you want.

Frank replied, "Well thank you Sir but what I really want to do is hang out with my friend Sam."
St. Peter says, "NO PROBLEMA!  Here's your harp, your halo, and your wings.  Be back by midnight!"

Frank goes down and looks around and finds that Sam is running a Discotech.  Frank walks in and Sam greets him,  "Frank!  Come on in!  Toss your harp, halo, and wings over in the corner and lets dance and party all night!"

All too soon, as the clock begins to strike midnight, Frank grabs his halo and wings and rushes up to Heaven.  St. Peter stops him at the gate and says, "Frank, aren't you forgetting something?"

Frank says, "Oh dear me.  Hiccup!  I left my harp in Sam Frank's Disco...."

CCedar


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PianoMan
Regular Member
Joined : Feb 2007
Posts : 365
Posted 6/29/2007 8:06 PM (GMT -8)
Very funny Cedar Chopper.  I'm beginning to sense that I'm living with a turtle head -- and a scared turtle at that.  Gonna have to get the pliers out soon, just to pee.

Waaaahhh!!! I miss my favorite toy -- my SLEEPING GIANT IS GONE!! (LOL).  I hope he returns some day.

And Bluebird, you share my wife's sense of humor, in terms of the play on words.  Very funny.

Reminds me of:

 

Q. What does a dyslexic agnostic say?

 

A.  "Is there a Dog?  Is there a Dog?"

Thank you both for revisiting this thread.  It makes me smile.

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NewJourney
Regular Member
Joined : Jun 2007
Posts : 30
Posted 6/30/2007 10:35 AM (GMT -8)
So I went in for the biopsy. On a gurney facing the wall with my butt on the gurneys edge. I am facing the wall. Doc asks me if I can hang my butt a little more over the edge. Doc and nurse ask if I am all comfortable and set to go. I reply, "No problem Doc, actually I was in this very same postion in a bar recently." That got quite a laugh. After the procedure, I ran into the nurse in the hallway, she could hardly keep a straight face.
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mvesr
Veteran Member
Joined : Apr 2007
Posts : 823
Posted 6/30/2007 4:25 PM (GMT -8)

Hi all.  I just realized why babies cry when they have a wet diaper.  I just can't hold back the tears now because my diaper is full!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mika-mvesr

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drmartin
Regular Member
Joined : May 2007
Posts : 42
Posted 7/1/2007 8:38 AM (GMT -8)
Also during my biopsy,

Preface: The week before my biopsy..my DR. said he was going to give me a spinal block for the procedure.

The day of the procedure the doctor had me get into position on my side and he began the ultrasound and he was discussing his findings with me. He then said you will feel a little pinch!...I darn near flew of the table!
The nurse then said to the DR. "I think you forgot the spinal!"..and he said (no lie)..OOPS!!

Reminded me of Bill Cosby's "a word you don't want to hear in surgery"..Well not during a biopsy either!!

Chuckles to all the great stories!!
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wamba2000
Regular Member
Joined : Jul 2007
Posts : 25
Posted 7/2/2007 9:19 AM (GMT -8)

Thanks to all that have posted comments, I am a newbie to this Forum and have found great posts and experiences.

 

I had RP on May 1 2007, found early and more by accident than from symptoms.  PSA was 4.1, did the anitbiotics, then had a 4.2. Went to urologist, he did the DRE and couldn't feel anything, but suggested biopsy to be safe.  Had it Monday, Wed. he called and I had a Gleason of 6 and said cancer was found by the transitional samples.  He doesn't do the laser procedure, but had done over 1000 RPs and it was done within a week.  After two months, I have slight incontinence (one pad a day) and have hopes it will improve. 

 

Funniest moments from my surgery:

1. I am on the hairy side and that gene was passed to my oldest some (18.) The trend is to shave to show off all the weightlifting, so having this condition is a constant annoyance to him (it's my gift to him!)  When in prep, they shaved me for surgery.  When my family was in pre-op and my son saw the smooth shave, he got into a discussion with the aide on what/how/etc., all about the time my Dr. arrives to take me to surgery.  He just shook his head.  You had to be there to see the expression...

 

2. The second night post surgery, my wife and youngest were visiting.  A friend who does some amateur acting bursts into the room, right out of the old west, wearing cowboy hat, long duster coat, red bandana around the neck, boots and with holster and gun belt strapped on.   Unfortunately, being in Arizona, there are permits for people to carry weapons.  My friend had been tracked by security cameras the whole way and right after his arrival, two security officers arrived rerady to take him out of the building.  I plead with them to let him stay, he did not have a weapon in the holster, but they couldn't tell that from their view. 

 

The laughing surely cause my innards to hurt, but in retrospect, it was well worth it.

 

My prayers go out to the other guys and their families that are going through this disease and surgery.  I am on a mission, with my clients, friends and people I meet to make sure men go to their doctor and are tested for prostate cancer.  I feel it was by God's intervention that I got to a doctor for a physical and that my cancer was found early and was so treatable.  We can all be a difference in other people's lives if we just talk with them about prevention and testing.

 

Off my soapbox.  Thanks to all!

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Mike A
Regular Member
Joined : Feb 2007
Posts : 213
Posted 7/8/2007 7:40 AM (GMT -8)
Hi All!
Just back fron vacation in Florida, thought I'd add to this topic after my first post-surgical game of golf:

Good/Bad about playing golf after Prostate Cancer Surgery:
1. GOOD - Cut down on Swing means you don't have to walk as far into the Rough or Woods to retrive your ball.
2. BAD - Occasional hard swings give the term "Spraying it around the Course" a whole new meaning.
3. GOOD- Fine opportunity to practice kegels every time you bend over to take ball from hole or tee it up.
4. BAD - Very embarrasing to reach into back pocket for golf glove and pull out spare pad!

By the way, I shot an 92 - Not too bad for me!

Mike
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CVK
Regular Member
Joined : Apr 2007
Posts : 66
Posted 7/9/2007 4:28 PM (GMT -8)
When it was time to get Curt's catheter out, we went to the local Urologist's office. A young female Physician's Assistant was to remove the catheter. We were placed in a room and Curt laid down on the table which made the catheter pull. I didn't know what to do so I pulled out the stirrups and put his feet in them. He looked like he was going to have a gynecological exam. The PA came in and gave us a funny look then asked if the girl up front had put him in the stirrups. I told her that I did it. So we laughed about that, then he told her he wanted a piece of the catheter tubing to make a fishing bait. I'm sure she thought we were crazy then. He told her that the thing had made him so miserable for two weeks, he was going to get some enjoyment out of it somehow. So when she removed the catheter he showed her the piece he wanted, and she put it in a bio-hazard bag for him. He took it home and started creating his "foley slammer" since it was from the tubing attached to the foley catheter bag.
A week or so later Curt's cousin took him fishing and he caught a pike and then a bass on it. He had to release them both because they were too small but he sure had fun catching them. Photos can be seen on our homepage if you click on the little house icon under our user name to the left. At least I hope so, I'm not very good at creating these things. Last week Curt took the pictures in to the Urologist's office and everyone on staff got a good laugh out of it.
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Mike A
Regular Member
Joined : Feb 2007
Posts : 213
Posted 7/9/2007 4:54 PM (GMT -8)
Vicky,
The "Foley Slammer!" I love it! Since we know where the tubing was, it's almost another kind of "Fly" fishing. There has to be a joke in there somewhere about the fish caught on Curt's catheter being "too small" but we won't go into that! Thanks for the laugh!
Best,
Mike
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bluebird
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2006
Posts : 2543
Posted 7/9/2007 4:59 PM (GMT -8)
Vicky ~ this is priceless!!!!  We have truly enjoyed the pictures!!! and the story!!!

Each of "You" who have contributed to this thread deserves a Hug!!! 


  tongue   Consider yourself "Hugged"....  tongue

  tongue tongue Pianoman ~ you get 2 hugs for starting it!!! yeah

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CVK
Regular Member
Joined : Apr 2007
Posts : 66
Posted 7/10/2007 7:16 AM (GMT -8)
Glad you enjoyed it Mike and Lee. I was pretty proud of Curt for getting some fun out of that whole situation.
Love your sense of humor Mike. ;)
Vicky
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Cedar Chopper
Regular Member
Joined : Mar 2007
Posts : 432
Posted 7/10/2007 9:51 AM (GMT -8)

Friends,

For those of us feeling down with E.D. and/or particularly mortal these days,
I offer a story about this "manly act":

Long ago there was an ocean full of dolphins that lived forever.
However, the secret to their longevity was a diet of these special sea-birds -
  - and they were running out of these birds.
One day, a shark told them about another ocean on the other side of the "Foley Slammer Straits" with plenty of these birds - but that the channel was guarded by lions watching from the cliffs. 
The dolphins quickly made a deal to pay the sharks to smuggle birds past the lions.
This went along just fine for awhile, until the sharks got busted for 
 transporting gulls across strait lions for immortal porpoises....
ICTHUS
eyes CCedar

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El Tigre
Regular Member
Joined : May 2007
Posts : 58
Posted 7/10/2007 4:19 PM (GMT -8)
OMG That is hysterical!!!! You made my whole month with that one!!
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Cedar Chopper
Regular Member
Joined : Mar 2007
Posts : 432
Posted 7/18/2007 2:52 AM (GMT -8)

Friends,

As we learn to fight cancer, incontinence, erectile dysfunction, and hospital billing errors, we've all had to make decisions with conflicting viewpoints and advice.  This story comes from a Texas birdwatcher:

There were three brothers living on the family cattle ranch in south Texas that could not get along with each other and could never agree on anything.  This always hurt their mother dearly.  When she passed away, she left the three of them the family cattle ranch on one condition, the ranch must remain intact and that they must all three agree on a name for the ranch.  After fighting over this for weeks, they heard about The Divine Ms. Bluebird and her great wisdom.  They contacted her on the Healingwell Forum and posed this question to her, "What can we who never agree on anything name our ranch so that we do not lose our inheritance?"

Ms. Bluebird thought for a moment and said, "Focus."

The brothers replied, we are focused, we just can never agree to be agreeable.
Ms. Blue said, "Then disagree without being disagreeable!  Focus is where
the sons raise meat......" eyes

CCedar
ICTHUS!

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Cedar Chopper
Regular Member
Joined : Mar 2007
Posts : 432
Posted 7/24/2007 9:02 AM (GMT -8)

Friends,

In the Produce bidness in Texas, I soon found out that a "Chile" was slang for a penis.  The jokes that arise from this slang-word include aspects of both size ("Chile Petine" vs. "Chile Ancho" ) and heat ("Habanero! Chile" versus "Hatch Chile") .

This is for those of us impatient with our recovery from E.D. - and our Urologists:

Gentlemen, what if your Chile" were detachable?  Imagine the following scene:

Espouso:  "Honey, I'm going out with the guys tonight. 
                 Don't wait up.  I'll be in late."

Espousa:  "Oh you are are you?"

Espouso:  ""Yes Honey, just me and the guys. We're going to play some cards."

Espousa:  "Just you and the guys?  Just playing cards?"

Espouso:  "Yes Dear.  Just me and the guys, at a card game."

Espousa:  "Then you won't be needing THIS then
                     (grabbing and detaching Espouso's Chile)."

Espouso:  "Aw gee Honey, all the other guys are taking theirs....." yeah

CCedar
ICTHUS

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gtmriviera
Regular Member
Joined : May 2007
Posts : 338
Posted 7/26/2007 4:42 PM (GMT -8)
I'm waiting to have the biopsy when the doctor comes in with his attractive young female assistant.  She says that she hopes that I won't be embarrassed.  I told her that she wouldn't be the first woman to see me and I was guessing that I wouldn't be the first man that she had seen  so as long as she didn't start taking her clothes off we should be ok.  They probably wondered in the front office what we were laughing at.
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bluebird
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2006
Posts : 2543
Posted 8/3/2007 6:48 PM (GMT -8)
StrictlyInc, Grover, Susan, Magaboo… I’ve taken the liberty to place these here from thread                                                                    started by StrictlyInc… am I the only one...    They compliment each other! I’m still drying my eyes and holding my side.   Been there.. Done that.. guess that's why it hit so hard…                StrictlyInc   ... who occasionally forgets to take the pads out of their underwear before doing laundry? Crikes, what a mess! Grover   As long as we're confessing our screwups, I put a pad in backwards with the sticky side towards me !! Ouch ! GreenAcres   Grover, you just gave me a great laugh. My husband did the same thing early on. We were driving home from Austin, stopped at a hotel. Walked across the parking lot and he was all twitchy and trying to "rearrange" something. I was totally embarrassed. When we reached our room, he immediately went to the bathroom. Came out laughing - the sticky side was UP! Magaboo   I know us cheap guys try to save money whenever we can, but laundering the pads is not the way to do it   .
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CVK
Regular Member
Joined : Apr 2007
Posts : 66
Posted 8/6/2007 2:32 AM (GMT -8)
HAHA! Good one Lana!
Those are exciting words these days, aren't they?
Amazing how one word will change over the course of time. Previously I just got excited if my gravy "thickened" while cooking. ;)
Best to you,
Vicky
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jerryg
Regular Member
Joined : Feb 2007
Posts : 30
Posted 9/1/2007 9:20 AM (GMT -8)

Our funny adventure -

The RRP surgery went well and I was discharged 2 days later.  Little pain until at home the second day and  I was diagnosed as having  a hemotoma in the left groin area from the surgery.  Any movement in the stomach muscles caused an intense pain like I had never felt before.  We live in a split level home and have several stair levels up to our bedroom area.  A lazy-boy chair was brought up to the bedroom so I had a place to recline other than our bed.  When ever my wife went downstairs, I had a cell phone close by to call her if i needed something. I was sitting in my recliner one evening watching TV when I moved my leg and caught the cathier bag tube in the chair foot rest mechanism. I felt the pull (you know where) and heard the tube connection seperate and knew the contents was spilling out onto the carpet.  I grabbed for one end of the tube with one hand and in undescribable pain from the hemotoma, I reached backward for the phone with my left hand.  I barely could reach it and tried to dial our home number to reach my wife downstairs.  Our area code is 913, but I must have dialed 9113 to start.  I tried again, but before I could dial, I got an incoming call.  I hung up immediately and then called my wife again.  I told her to get up here ASAP.  As she got up to the bedroom, the phone rang again and she answered.  It was our local police department asking my wife if everthing was allright as they had received a 911 call and then was hung up on.  She explained somewhat and was then told an officer would be there shortly.  My wife got the bag two ends back together and then went down to meet the police officer.  I told her he would probably want to come in and check things out and to bring him upstairs and I would try to explain things to him.  My wife was very suprised to see a female police officer get out of the patrol car.  She explained as best she could our funny 911 story, boy I was sure glad she did not want to come upstairs and see me.

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PianoMan
Regular Member
Joined : Feb 2007
Posts : 365
Posted 9/2/2007 5:06 PM (GMT -8)
Hi Jerryg:  Very funny.  Thanks for sharing!

Tom

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bluebird
Veteran Member
Joined : May 2006
Posts : 2543
Posted 9/3/2007 5:16 AM (GMT -8)
What a hoot!!! Jerry..... Our Mika *mvesr will truly enjoy this one!!!! It's good to see you posting. In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy
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Cedar Chopper
Regular Member
Joined : Mar 2007
Posts : 432
Posted 9/5/2007 5:10 PM (GMT -8)

Gordy,

When I was in the Coast Guard and my duty made me late to chow for a week, the only thing that hadn't dried up to inedibility on the hot tray line was ..... the brussel sprouts. 
They tasted the same as when the cook first put them out that morning!  Yuck!
After surviving on brussel sprouts for a couple of weeks, I don't even eat coleslaw anymore, either...

Thinking back to the 1970's when I was in the Service,
I'm reminded of a baseball pitcher back in the 1970's named Melfamey.
He was pitching a no-hitter at the bottom of the eighth inning of the World Series, score tied zero to zero - when he just couldn't handle the suspense anymore.  So, at the top of the ninth, he went out and bought a six-pack of beer.  He drank five of them immediately and put the sixth beer in his pocket in case he got nervous in the bottom of the ninth.
Of course, on the mound in the ninth he was now pitching wild and walked the first four batters in just 16 pitches and lost the game.
He pulled the last beer out of his pocket and emptied it in one long swallow.

The opposing players were asking each other how could such an athlete clutch at the last second?!?!  One of their players saw him drink the last beer and said sighing:
See that beer?  That's the beer that made Melfamie walk us...


Of course I'm getting incontinent just thinking about "riding the bull" with Schlitz.

;-> Your Friend,

......(Fence posts in Texas are made by a)
Cedar Chopper.

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