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Radical prostectomy and incontinence

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Posted 3/18/2007 5:42 PM (GMT -7)
Just wanted to say that I have been reading some of these posts for a while now. Wasn't too sure if I should join as this seems to be mostly american site (not that there is anything wrong with that), we are in Australia.
My husband was diagnosed last year and has since had a radical prostectomy in early Feb. He is really having trouble coping with the incontinence.
What I have gained from this site is an insite to how DH is feeling and for that I want to thank you all. I have also shown DH some of the posts and now he doesn't feel so alone.
We are still waiting to see his urologest for a check up and PSA results. We have been told the cancer was confined to the prostrate.
Posted 3/18/2007 5:53 PM (GMT -7)
hello Aussie friends, I'm glad that you found us even though none of us want to be here. it doesn't matter what country you are in, prostate cancer is the same thing in any language. if you read enough posts, you'll see that a lot of guys have a hard time with incontinence, then it does get better. the time frame is different for everyone. take care and please stay around, kat
Posted 3/18/2007 5:54 PM (GMT -7)
Hello RJ and welcome to the forum nobody wants to join.

Since you have been following some of the posts, you know that we will help you any way we can and that your posts help us all. We are all in this together and will get well together.

Incontenence is an issue that we all have concerns about. Some get control sooner and some later but all have to have patience. Is DH doing Kegel exercises and walking as much as possible? These seem to help the most.

You are not alone from Australia. There are some others here also. I'm sure they will pitch in when they see your post.

Please stay with us...

Jim
Posted 3/18/2007 5:56 PM (GMT -7)
There are a couple of folks on this forum from Australia and nobody cares where you live, or your nationality, or any of that stuff. I've not done the surgery, but others have and will respond soon. Welcome.

Regards,

Bill
Posted 3/18/2007 6:31 PM (GMT -7)
Hi ~   r j2b j j       &   Loved Ones,           A    “Special”   Warm Welcome   to   You!       I know we can “all” make “Your Journey” smoother just by being here for you!   This is truly a great forum!!! ~ You have joined!  You are now part our forum family ~ a group of wonderful individuals who are so willing to share...      It helps “all of us” ~ to help you ~ if we know where you are on your path. So ~ Please stay with us and take our hand when you need it!   Keep posting.... OKAY!!     and always remember...   KNOWLEDGE IS POWER... and POWER conquers fear     Our thoughts and prayers will be with you as you continue to move forward on “Your Journey”.   Keeping you close to our hearts at this time… In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy   “God Bless You”   It's a little prayer   ~   "God Bless You"  ... but it means so much each day, It means may angels guard you and guide you on your  way.     (Direct Link ~ just click on the title below and a new window will open!   Reminder … click on the REFRESH icon once you get there) Helpful Hints & Direct Links to Important Topics/Threads 
Posted 3/18/2007 6:40 PM (GMT -7)
HI from Canada

a health issue like this speaks it's own language I reckon - my husband is Canadian Chinese while i am a transplant from Adelaide South Australia. we are undiagnosed at the moment but come here for comfort, education and fellowship. You will love it here, this groups is wonderful and caring. good luck with the PSA score.

take care

deb & bob

Posted 3/18/2007 6:47 PM (GMT -7)
Hello Aussies:  And welcome!  I had my surgery in January and still leak a bit, especially in the evenings, when the muscles weaken.  The nice thing about communicaing with people in this forum and/or anyone you can find who has been through treatment for PCa is realizing that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, whatever your situation is. Some guys get the incontinency thing out of the way real quick -- others do not.  I know two guys who only bought one package of pads!! For me, the incontinency (even a wee-bit of leaking) is still an aggravation.  The erectile thing is another story, but I believe it will resolve, as best it can, in its own time frame. I was driving along with my wife today and winced a bit.  She noticed and asked me, "How's my guy doing today?" I said, "I'm pissed - IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!" She got it.  We both cracked up. You are not long out of surgery, so be patient!!  Let things heal.  Don't feel like you're responsible for making things come together according to the 6-week plan.  Everyone is different and keep your attitude up.  Best of luck with your post-op psa etc.  We'll wait for the good news. "The tide always turns.  WE'RE ALL BEATING THIS THING."  
Posted 3/18/2007 7:35 PM (GMT -7)
Hi ~ rj2bjj, You truly did the right thing by joining in   ...  We are all in this together and need each others support.   We can lend you strength and understanding… as the ones who are just a little ahead of you ~ to the ones that are a little bit further ahead ~ to the ones just signing on as you have…..   This is a Circle of Friendship and we gladly take your hand…   Take a look outside… It’s an awesome feeling to know that we are all under the same stars, moon, sun, & sky.    This to me is very comforting…. to know that We Are Not Alone… You’ll find posting from   (Lana & CJ) * Creed_three - from NSW, Australia (east coast) and DJ *DJSydney in Australia, Mike *Mickeyboy in London, and Rickard, Stockholm, Sweden… so we are truly a mixed group… and many from Canada!!   Take a deep breath.... and know that there's a lot of us like you out there... and we've been where you are now.    All different kinds of lifestyles…   different PSA scores, different treatments, different incomes, different jobs, different health issues, all different ages, and most of all… MENTAL ATTITUDES ARE DIFFERENT. So take a deep breath and let this forum help you!!!   There are so many things that can work for you in getting urinary continence back and the most important thing is… time and exercise… Kegel exercises and stairs are wonderful to strengthen the sphincter muscle…   Below are 2 direct links to give you a little more information on helping to regain urinary continence. Read it and pull what you think will work best for you. The more options… the better we are…   (direct link ~ just click on the title!   Reminder to click on the REFRESH icon once there) Kegel Help? Started by: KW Kegels - to pee or not to pee? Started by: pianoman      I copied this information in blue below and taped it in the bathroom… above the toilet.     ** Excerpts taken from a wonderful book called “Dr. Patrick Walsh’s Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer” by: Patrick C. Walsh, M.D. and Janet Farrar Worthington.   Copyright 2001…..     ** Urinary continence: The return of urinary control:     ** Phase One is when you can remain dry when lying down.   ** Phase Two is when you’re dry when you’re walking around.   ** If you can walk to the bathroom and not urinate until you get there, that’s a GREAT SIGN!!!…     it means that the sphincter is intact.   ** Phase Three, you are dry when you stand up (using muscles that put pressure on the sphincter)    after sitting.   ** Remember, the recovery of urinary control is a slow process.   The most important thing you can do during this time is not to get discouraged.     We are happy you’ve joined us!!!      Keeping you close in thoughts and prayers. In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy  
Posted 3/18/2007 8:24 PM (GMT -7)
Gooday Mate. No I'm not an Ausie. I'm an Okie from Oklahoma! I know how your feeling. I'm one of the slow ones to get the leaking under control. Check out KW's Journey a few pages back on the forum. Hope my oredal helps you. Just remember the MOST important thing is that the cancer is gone.

Take Care, KW
Posted 3/18/2007 8:52 PM (GMT -7)
Let me join in with the others and say WELCOME from Florida! I'm so glad you found this forum - this is the place to get help & comfort...you're never alone here!
You'll see that we're spread all over God's creation - what a place to meet, right?!

It seems incontinence is a different issue for everyone. But it will get better - you're not that far out from surgery. As Bluebird said, read all the threads noted and also Dr. Walsh's book -it was (and still is) so helpful to my husband & I.

Looking forward to seeing your great PSA numbers at your checkup!

All the best,
Susan

kw is so right..."Just remember the MOST important thing is that the cancer is gone."
Posted 3/18/2007 10:08 PM (GMT -7)

Hi rj2bjj,

I'm another Aussie - from Melbourne.  Da Vinci done 10 January and still incontinent after nearly 10 weeks.  Like others, I've learned a lot from this site, and it's especially comforting to learn that you are not the only one who doesn't come good quickly.

Good luck to DH.

Berb

Posted 3/19/2007 3:04 AM (GMT -7)
Hi there rj2bjj,

My husband and I are also from Australia - about 3 hrs outside of Sydney. We joined this forum about 6 weeks ago. Welcome to you and DH. You will hopefully find great information here and answers to anything you ask. We are still awaiting surgery for Pca, but have found this site the most helpful of all to prepare us overall, as much as one can be prepared for something like this.

Hope you find this site as helpful as we have.
Kind regards, Lana & CJ
Posted 3/20/2007 6:29 AM (GMT -7)
Thankyou all for your replies and making us feel welcome.
DH is doing his Kegels but I am wondering from some of the posts if he is also doing to many and tiring the muscles out. Must ask him if its worse in the evening.
Although the leaking is still anoying him he is working through it, he is such a help at home.
Posted 3/20/2007 6:37 AM (GMT -7)
Hi, rj2 - as I told creed on her thread - some of our best times have been in Australia (with stopovers in Fiji along the way!)

I can tell you that at any age, incontinence following surgery is tough. Even though guys know to expect it, it doesn't really sink in until you actually have to deal with it. It will get better; some just take longer than others. And, some days are better than others, too!
Posted 3/20/2007 6:52 AM (GMT -7)
I know what you mean, no matter how you prepare yourself mentally you just don't know what it is going to feel like until your there.
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