Hey WhoFan -- Keep hanging in there. HE’S JUST UNDER THREE WEEKS OUT! THE INTERNAL SWELLING HASN’T EVEN GONE DOWN YET AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS, HE MAY HAVE INCREASED INCONTINENCE FOR A WHILE, PLUS A FEW FUNNY SENSATIONS DOWN THERE. Plus some depression and some worry and some tears, at least that's the way it was in my case. It’s all part of the process.
My wife and I love to eat out and for several weeks post Da Vinci, we had lots of opportunities to go out, but she could see I was uncomfortable trying to sit down in a restaurant long enough to get through a single course. JUST ONE MORE OF OUR FAVORITE THINGS WE WERE UNABLE TO DO TOGETHER!! It was frustrating for both of us.
It just ached down there and wasn't fun to sit upright. The City of Hope nurses advised me to try to switch from one "cheek" bone to the other while sitting, which would work, but only for so long..
And yes, Da Vinci, is “less invasive," but it is still major surgery and traumatic to the body. Those are little wounds, but com'n folks, we were essentially stabbed six times (including the drainage tube) and it takes time to heal inside and out.
Like your hubby, during the first three to four weeks I could never seem to get totally comfortable unless I was flat on my back. But that's not good either. He should be taking easy walks, doing a little light activity, maybe a little cooking, sitting for a while, pacing around for a while, light stair climbing (and I mean light!!!) etc.
For the rest of you who posted here, thanks for your comments. Those first few weeks are a challenge, but eventually, we break through. It's nice to know that I wasn't the only one wondering if I'd ever feel like my old self again.
At one point, around week three, when I was really in the dumps, my wife came home one day and gave me this beautiful little seashell-shaped pewter box she bought. It is inscribed with the words, “The Tide Always Turns.”
And the tide did turn. I keep it on my desk -- it will always be close to me.
WhoFan, I think you will be surprised at how quickly the next few weeks will pass for both of you.
BTW – I’m a major Steely Dan fan and here’s a favorite chorus from their song, “Any Major Dude Will Tell You.” (Released in 1974).
‘Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you
Any major dude will tell you’