You made great points in your post - thanks for bringing this up.
This is how my husband deals:
The "numbers" are imperative to the decision making process as long as they're kept in their place.
To him, their place is somewhere in the back of his mind most of the time.
Numbers are not going to determine how Don feels emotionally every day. Numbers are not going to control how he lives his life. He cannot give over his power to that.
While it appears to others (those without pc) that he has no control over his life outwardly...he does...in some ways more than ever before. And that is where his possession of who and what he is lies...in himself. He's an amazing person.
I don't mean this is a pollyannish way, I really don't, but I believe this with all my heart...Love is how you stay alive.
Don's Diagnosis: Systemic Prostate Cancer