Posted 6/18/2007 6:08 PM (GMT -8)
Its time for my annual physical
The doc's going to finger you know what ... if you are on this forum, you don't need a visual
This GP then calls me at home to schedule a follow up consult
To discuss what he sees as an elevated PSA result
I come in to find I need to schedule a biopsy
Before the event the urologist nicely tells me that the odds of finding cancer are only one in three
In I go to the final waiting room
And what do I see, but 12 containers with my name on them, six of which will soon contain my doom
A DRE, Gleason and PSA represent a cancer stage
Little did I know that deciphering the right next steps might require a mage
Armstrong's book says its not about the bike
But the next learned person that tells me that prostate cancer is one of the better ones to get is going to be told less than politely to take a hike
I've been probed, stuck, irradiated and scanned
All to determine the right option to get the cancer without totally being unmanned
The day has come and before they finally put me under
I look at this machine that resembles Doc Ock and I wonder if I made a blunder
Half waking up in recovery is a terrible feeling
That uncomfortable disorientation was not at all appealing
Back in my room I had some pain
Until I felt sweet percoset flow through my veins
I must say I hadn't felt that pleasantly weird
Since I cut off my long hair and shaved my beard
My son in law visited and stared at my catheter until I asked what was the matter
He replied, I hope that tube tapers before it enters your privates on the way to your bladder!
I got home the next day feeling a little less than a male
It might have had something to do with me carrying my bag around in a pail
I finally got the catheter out thinking this was the end of the road
Only to find I could just barely make it from a bed or chair to the commode
A new empathy was found for women I never had as a lad
My new best friend is a Serenity pad
The path report came and I am no longer a survivor_wannabee
I can see the light at the tunnel which is when I can pee only when I want to pee
Thought I'd write a little poem that might not be the most eloquent, but should maybe strike a chord for someone looking back on that long journey from detection to recovery. I wish you all well.