Well, one thing I'll add here, because its just recently been a topic of discussion, then action, is that spouses need physical contact and often are neglected in this area post surgery. Men seem to often equate physical contact with sexual expression and after surgery, since that is not a prospect for a while, all physical contact habits seem to fall by the wayside.
Hence, I think it is a good idea to make sure that there is lots of physical contact. Cuddling, hugs, being cozy on the couch with a movie. Otherwise it can be a real problem.
And I wouldn't be too worried about
an erection springing up. Heck, I'd be delighted if that happened. I don't recall seeing how long it has been since your surgery. My dr. says to wait 6 wks before trying for an erection.