Excecpt for your incontinence, I'm glad to hear you are otherwise feeling well and not letting this annoyance cloud your mood.
I would offer that on the one hand, you are way ahead of the curve on conquering E.D. - while on the other, you are just a little
behind most in beating incontinence.
Three months is just about
two weeks behind where MANY suddenly see rapid improvement!
My personal experience suggests you might benefit from a bio-feedback therapist.
One of the things I was doing at weeks 10 through 14 (when I became pad-free) was sitting/walking around the house nude with an old t-shirt to collect drips - exerting as much kegel control when moving around - & finessing as much urine retention - as possible.
It is the control (at first conscious - later somewhat automatic) it is the control that you learn to exert when walking around (especially on stairs) that demostrates that the goal of kegel exercises is not a vice-grip - but rather a muscle tone of a group of muscles that share the load. (The last third cycle of the "elevator kegel exercise" best develops this "tone.")
The developed kegel (pelvic floor) muscles are "couching" that valve that works for you while you sit still. Your movements and gravity pull on that valve. The pelvic floor muscle bundle must work like your bicep does when you hold a weight in an extended arm while walking.
One other observation and encouragement: Any type of pad or physical urine control will delay your improvement. Your mind and sub-conscious will slowly-if-ever make this extraordinary effort (Women are amazing!) if it knows the pad or bucket or whatever will catch the drips.
Personally, I found drinking any alcohol was a real challenge for this learning process. Some become continent while drinking. A very few never become continent whether they drink or not. Others find they are challenged by caffeine or spice.
Perhaps it is too soon to throw in the towel - just walk around nude with an old one instead.