No, I'm not that naive, but I am curious when discussing ED how much of it is absolute and how much is just relative. I gather the accepted definition of ED is inability to achieve an erection sufficient for intercourse. Does that mean that if you were able to achieve penetration that you don't have ED, or that you have a milder case of it? I am now one month post op found myself having intercourse once just to sort of prove a point and achieve a psychological victory. I have taken Viagra (25 to 50 mg) intermittently on the advice of my urologist just to help blood flow. Ironically, it was 8 or 12 hours after taking it that something of an erection just seemed to happen, got my wife's attention and my first instinct was to try it out, which we did. It didn't last very long, but it met the definition of intercourse and did serve as an encouraging psychological boost for me, although it definitely wasn't like high school. I guess I'm like most everyone else here, looking for encouragement in a frustrating situation, but then it occurred to me that there are all different degrees of success in this field (as there were before the cancer) and I don't really know how to "measure" it (no pun intended, and please don't answer with anything about
). I recall at one point reading about
results of various ED treatments, and it seems that there was some kind of objective data used to compare short and long term (again, no pun intended) results of various treatments. Most of the discussions here seem to hint at degrees of success, without conveying much of an idea of how much success that is.
A related thought. I've found an interesting side effect of all of this. My incentive to succeed at this and my wife's understanding about the challenge has had a peculiar way of altering but maybe even enhancing our sex life in the month since surgery. I was blessed with having zero problems with incontinence after the open surgery, and so I immediately focused on the next hurdle. I want to please her, and obviously there are other options for that, and she recognizes that we both need to let our own needs be more flexible (is there a tax on puns?) in the process. I wonder sometimes if I'm just playing mind games with myself and maybe adding more stress to the equation by feeling I have to succeed at this. With a wife who's nearly 20 years younger than I am, the pressure might be even greater. Anyone else have the same concerns?