No, this post is not about
the last time I was able to ejaculate. That particular little squirt I remember fondly and clearly, even though it also seems a distant memory at this point (it was actually in the wee hours of the a.m. on July 25, 2006 - but who's counting?)...
No, this post/complaint is about
that irritating last little squirt that happens when I try to get up from the toilet
...
- that little squirt that reminds you about
your prostate cancer, and the after effects...
- that little (ok, sometimes not so little) squirt that gets all over your clothes when you forget that it's coming as you stand up...
- that little squirt, that comes sometimes a little bit late in its attempt to get on your clothes and manages to get on the freshly new pad you've just put in, denying you a few minutes of complete cleanliness...
- that little squirt that is always there, even though you spent and extra 10 minutes (I had to read the sports page anyway) trying to get the bladder to empty itself completely, and thought you had...
- that little squirt that reminds you that the bladder is never really empty, and even if you drink nothing for hours before your body is constantly putting stuff in your bladder...
- that last little squirt that goes into my vacuum pump when I try to do my therapy...
- that last little squirt that happens after you planned ahead, didn't drink anything for hours, know you want to try to have sex, and have already broken the spontaneity by stopping foreplay to use the vacuum pump, emerging to further remove any illusion that remains of spontaneity, and reminding you again of how quickly your bladder fills and also that it is not so little after all...
- the last little squirt that I would strangle if I could just find that guy and get my hands around his neck...
Anyone else wanna kill this guy?
Happy Hump-Day! (though there's none of that going on here...)
____________________
Prostate cancer diagnosed: May 15, 2006 (age 40)
Gleason score: pre-surgery 3+3=6; post-surgery 3+4=7
daVinci radical prostatectomy: July 25, 2006
size of tumor: approx 1.1 inches; negative margins from surgery
- number of pads/day at 3 months after surgery: 3 to 5
- number of pads/day at 4 months after surgery: 1 to 2
- number of pads/day at 6-12 months after surgery: 0 to 1
- 1st post-surgery PSA: 0 (Nov 2006); 2nd post-surgery PSA: 0 (Feb 2007)
- 3rd post-surgery PSA: 0 (May 2007); 4th post-surgery PSA: 0 (June 2007)
The search for timber: took Viagra/Cialis approx. every other day, ErecAid once a day, injections. Peyronie's diagnosed 7/5/07. Now on Cialis, L-arginine and pentoxyfylline, ordered to be celibate for 6 weeks.
- PGE1 batting average: .364 (4 for 11)
- Bimix batting average: .200 (2 for 6)
- Trimix batting average: .500 (1 for 2)
"Lost in the valley without my horses, no one can tell me what my remorse is..."