I just discovered your site and have been reading dozens of entries. I truly appreciate all your candid entries and your willingness to share such personal information.
My husband turned 50 in January and had his first PSA test in May, repeated in June, biopsy on July 6th. Pathology report is 3+3's and 3+4's in all specimens except one. We got the news on July 17th. Subsequent CT & Bone scans negative.
We live about 2 miles from a facility that has the DaVinci robot, and surgery is scheduled for Aug 29. We met with the surgeon on July 19th and he gave it to us straight about the incontinence and impotence, etc. I sat quietly and tried to take notes as this stranger in scrubs told us this unexpected and shocking news. It still doesn't feel real.
We're going to Boston's Mass General Hospital on Monday for a 2nd opinion.
My husband wonders if surgery is his only choice or if he needs it at all. After all, a surgeon would naturally recommend surgery, right? My husband's been reading about men who've chosen to do nothing and are reportedly doing just fine. That frightens me.
As for me, I can't decide if I'm not reading enough or if I'm reading too much. (For example, it never occurred to me that our health insurance would not pay for this procedure. Yikes! And I didn't think my anxiety level could go any higher...)
But most importantly, I want to be well prepared for our appointment next week, but I have no idea what I should be asking.
I would very much appreciate your input. We have a 14 year old son who has autism. Our ability to be patient and cope with the challenges that go along with that are being put to the test right now as we struggle with this news. I'm used to being at the end of my rope.... but Dave has always been on the other end keeping me sane and making me laugh. We've been married for 23 years, and as I type this I realize that's one half of my life.
Please share your thoughts. It's difficult to think straight.
Supportive wife (age 46) of Dave (age 50)