Each of us can only tell you what works for us, what our experiences have been. Everyone's path is different.
When I was diagnosed, my greatest concern was my two children, one in college, and one finishing high school. (My ex-wife and I had been divorced for 1 and a half years, and my children chose to live with me.)
I had just gotten back into the dating world, and had met a fine woman just 2 months before my diagnosis. I had great feelings for her, but knew she was strong, and would do fine going off on her own. I didn't want her to feel burdened with MY problem. (Thankfully, she would have none of that, and we married 5 years later!)
I was worried about
my children. Who would take care of them? Would I see my son graduate from college? Would I see them get married?
I have never been an extremely religious person, but I firmly believe in our Maker, and felt He is aware.
I turned to God. I told Him I knew I could not do this myself. I told Him I was putting my life in His hands.
I did not ask for anything. I did not beg. I made no "deals". I simply said, "I am Yours. Do with me what You will."
But, at the same time, I wondered if I would be alive in two years. After all, my urologist had written me off. I had studied the statistics on the internet. My PSA was over 100. Didn't look good.
God LAUGHED. Yes, He laughed.
He told me it was not my time yet. He let me know I had work to do. Forget the PSA. Forget the statistics. All in an instant.
I heard Him clearly.
Here I am, almost 9 years later. My son graduated from college with two degrees, and is employed in a great career that he loves. My daughter is married, has a great job she loves, going to college, and married to a fine Marine.
And I am happily married to my own personal Angel, who refused to let me travel this road alone when I told her my diagnosis. (As I gave her ALL the reasons to go, her reply was, "This is just a bump in the road. We'll get over it, and go on with our life together.") We just built a new home. I was the contractor. (There's MUCH more to our story. Perhaps I'll share it some time.)
Life is good.
Now, for your problem.
Of course the diagnosis is frightening. And having gone through the Lupron shots, I know the emotional swings THAT can put a man through!
My suggestions? Pray. Ask others to pray for you. Be positive.
Allow your husband to write. Encourage it. It is an outlet for all the bad thoughts, a release of the poisons of the mind. It helped me to talk about
Give him lots of hugs. Lots of smiles. But don't hide YOUR emotions from him. When you feel down, it's OK to show it. But pick yourself up quickly. Being positive, and enjoying every moment, is immensely important.
Our prayers are with you. Fight the battle. Win.
Age: 57 (49 when diagnosed)
PSA 100+ 3/1999
Bone Scan and CT negative 4/1999
Radical prostatectomy and bladder neck removed 04/19/1999
HT - 05/1999 (Lupron every 3 months for 9 months)
RT - 16/1995
PSA 0.0-0.2 until 2001
Casodex 150mg 2001 until 2006
Casodex 100mg 2006-present
PSA 0.4-0.6 2001-2007