Don't worry about ranting. This whole group, from what I have seen so far, has some big shoulders to lean on and cry on. My wife has expressed the same feelings as you have. We do the things that we are advised to do, but is it the right time, the right course of treatment? We don't know. Sometimes I think it is easier to be the patient and not the loved one that is helping you get through it. You sound like the kind of person that would take it away from your father and put it on yourself if it would help. This is true love. It shows in your writings.
Sometimes being a good daughter is just what your father will need. As Susan said, get your mom and dad involved here so they can talk with some of us. It helps. I will add you, your mom and dad, and the special little person (boy or girl?) to our churches prayer chain. This works, too.
You are in the prayers of many.
War Eagle to all.
PSA 43 7/2005
Biopsy 12/14 Gleason 7 & 9
Divinci 9/2005 - spread to bladder
HT - 10/2005 (Eligard every 6 months)
RT - 10/2005 (38 treatments)
PSA 0.12 to 1.9 2/2007
Bone Scan and CT 4/2007
Spread to Spine (L4 & T5), rib, and pelvis
Zometa infusions 4/2007
PSA 4.9 8/2007
PSA 4.9 9/2007