Dear Maria Teresa,
You and Rod have been through so much in such a short period of time. Few of us can say we know exactly how you feel, but we can all say that we continue to support you and Rod fully!
MT, I am not an expert in this area, but I can offer an opinion or just my 2 cents worth. The way I look at this is that Rod took his first big step towards healing, and in that step discovered information about his cancer that he would not have had if he didn't opt for the surgery. Considering this, I believe the surgery was a success because of the information you acquired. In addition, it sounds like the surgeon removed other cancerous tissues. Now, with your health care professionals, you are able build an educated plan moving forward by using the post-surgery pathology and future PSA readings. These combined will help Rod toward further healing.
There is nothing wrong with you feeling disappointed. Don't beat yourself up for it. The key, like puget implied, is to find a way back up so you can get back on offense. You have not lost a battle and you have not lost the war. You're just digging in and building a strategy for the fight!
All the best,