The idea behind not tightening the stomach muscles is to isolate the pelvic floor muscles.
These ("kegel sphincter") muscles (in men) start above the pubis and go through the crotch area into the buttocks area.
If your husband is continent while sleeping, one thing that helped me was to drink 8 oz. or so of water before retiring. When I awoke and needed to go, I would stand over the toilette and cough - and try to hold back the stream.
Some describe this exercise as "like trying to hold a dime between your cheeks."
Another valuable exercise- if no one is home - is to walk up and down stairs with a full bladder - with a styrofoam cup or old rag to catch leaks - to teach a "coordinated control."
Twelve weeks out is just AT the time most patients gain control (12 to 16 weeks).
As I got stronger with my kegels, just before I gained control at week 14, I would "kegel to music" while driving. It's not just about ON-OFF exercises
It's sort of like a "dial tone" but here rather a "muscle tone" with different sets of muscles recruited to work as another set gets fatigued.
From what you have said, it sounds like your husband will become continent suddenly - sometime in the next few months. Most likely sooner.
Suddenly one day you will notice the pads are mostly dry and a few days later you will take the leap to pad free.
In the meantime, do "elevator kegels"
- (vary intensity - up and down
) to your favorite music..... all the time.
Let the bladder get full and cough or walk the stairs.
Be patient and use a barrier cream daily and fungicide cream weekly.
I believe you will be dry soon.CCedar
2 Years of PSA between 4 and 5.5 + Biopsy 23DEC06
Only 5 percent cancer in one of 8 samples. + Gleeson 3+3=6
Radical Prostatectomy 16FEB07 at age 54.
1+" tumor - touching inside edge of gland. + Confined. :)
Pad Free @ 14 weeks. Six Month PSA <.003 :)
At 6 months, ED treated with Pump Exercises & 50mg Viagra Daily
Texas Hill Country FRESH Produce Department Manager
Have you had your 5 colors today?