Horrible pain & nausea - late stage

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 10/3/2007 10:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi all...I'm new
My Dad is in late-stage...bone metastases (several ribs, pelvis, spine, lymph nodes). He just had his 71st birthday.
He has had an ostomy bag for 23 yrs, a super-pubic catheter installed 3 yrs ago, and double nephrostomy tubes put in about 3 months ago....
This man is an inspiration to anyone who has ever met him - he has NEVER complained about his health....his health which long ago deserted him...
He is at home, still thankfully, where my Mom cares for him...back in July, we thought that the end was near, but somehow he came through that...
Now, he seems to be on a downward trend...and he is in pain & suffering from extreme nausea - and he has little energy...for instance, just standing at the bathroom sink to comb his hair, completely tires him out.
Does anyone have any suggestions for his symptoms of pain & nausea???
I can't bear the thought of his suffering...he has a Palliative care Dr. who visits, but is not due back for another week.  Dad does not like to 'bother' anyone, so requesting that the Dr. come sooner is a big deal.
What are the end stages like?  Anyone??  My Mom is so sad & scared of his suffering...it's eating her up.
How long could he possibly live in this awful state?
We love him so much - we have had so much fear about his health in his lifetime...and now....it's unthinkable that he would be in pain like this.
Thanks for reading my ramblings...

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 10/3/2007 10:43 PM (GMT -6)   

Dear Kathy,

We are so very sorry to hear about your dad... What a man of courage!  You must be very proud of him.  I wish I had some information at hand for you right now, but I will search for something that may help.  Please also feel free to look at the permanent topics, above, which have links to what may be useful information for you.

You are very welcome to this forum!  I know you'll get a response soon from our caring forum members who have some experience in this area. 

Our prayers and thoughts are with you.


"Idaho" ~ Barry


Da Vinci Surgery July 31, 2007… 54 on surgery day
PSA 4.3  Gleason 3+3=6  T2a  Confined to Prostate

1st PSA 0.04 (undetectable) 9/11/2007

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 10/3/2007 10:46 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 60
   Posted 10/3/2007 10:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Kathy, your father is an inspiration to us all. I assure you our prayers are with you. I wish I could offer you more.

I know this sounds crazy, but I have heard that marijuana can be helpful for his symptoms. Here's a link I found to the American Cancer Society about it's use.
Age: 57 (49 when diagnosed)
PSA 100+ 3/1999
Biopsy -positive, both nodes 03/1999
Bone Scan and CAT scan negative 4/1999
Radical prostatectomy and bladder neck removed 04/19/1999
HT - 05/1999 (Lupron every 3 months for 9 months)
RT - 6/1999
PSA 0.0-0.2 until 2001
Casodex 150mg 2001 until 2006
Casodex 100mg 2006-present
PSA 0.4-0.6 2001-2007

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 741
   Posted 10/3/2007 11:00 PM (GMT -6)   

Dear Kathy,

My wife and I have had family members in other late stage diseases and have found Hospice to be a wonderful resource.  Your father sounds like a wonderful and courageous man and it's obvious that the acorn didn't fall far from the tree when it came to his daughter.  My best to you.



August of 2006, PSA up to 4.2 from 2.7 one year ago. 
October free and total PSA 12% free and 5.0 total.
A month, or so later, 4.7.
Late in the year decide on Image Guided IMRT.
Begin 43 treatments on January 23, 2007 and finish on March 23.
Four month post treatment PSA is 1.9.  (This is a very good result.)
No side, or after effects.  None.
I have aged a year and am now 63.  How did that happen?

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 1211
   Posted 10/3/2007 11:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi sophieluv,
I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. He sounds like a wonderful man and no one should have to suffer the way he is. He is fortunate to have such loving family to help him thru this terrible time. I wish I could make some useful suggestion, but more knowledgeable people will chime in soon. Just wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers and hoping that the situation will improve soon. Please don't give up hope.

Born Sept., 1936
PSA 7.9
Stage T1C
Gleason's Score 3+4=7
Open RP 28 Nov 06
Dry since early Jan 07
1st PSA result on 15 March 07 = 0
2nd PSA result on 15 June 07 = 0
3rd PSA result on 12 September 07 = 0

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1464
   Posted 10/4/2007 12:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Kathy,

Sorry to hear of you dad's suffering. My dad died from prostate cancer in 1985. It is a terrible thing to watch and not know what to do for him. My dad was on methadone for the last year of his life. It relieved that pain but he was "doped up" most of the time. Urging him to go to the doctor was useless because, like your dad, he didn't want to bother anybody.

There have been many advances in the treatment of prostate cancer and in pain management since then as I am sure you are aware. My only suggestion is to urge him to call the doctor earlier than his appointment and to be there to support him and you mom. My dad always perked up when we would come around even though he would never talk about his condition. That might have helped if he had talked about it but at that stage, we let him handle it the way he wanted.

It is a sad time of our lives when we see our parents near the end of their lives. We can take consolation in knowing that we were there for them.

And please stay with us...

Age 73. Diagnosed 11/03/06. PSA 7.05. Stage T2C Gleason 3+3.
RRP 12/7/06. Nerves and nodes okay.
Pathological stage: T2C. Gleason 3+4. Cancer confined to prostate.
PSAs from  1/3/07 - 7/18/07 0.00. 
T level on 4/2/07 - 48     On 7/16/07 - 613
Started Tri-Mix on 8/7/07.  .02 ml and 50 mg Viagra.  It works!!!
Next PSA and T tests on 10/17/07
"Patience is essential, attitude is everything."

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 219
   Posted 10/4/2007 6:33 AM (GMT -6)   


My prayers go out to you and your family. I echo Bill comment about hospice. These people are special and provide so much more than medical care. My Oncologies has suggested that we look at RT at specific bone locations in the future in my case. He stated that it would help with the pain.

Your father is a very brave man. He is doing what he can to ease yours and your mothers pain by "taking it like a man". I saw this with my father. But he doesn't have to with all that is out there to help relieve any suffering that is is going through. I know in my case, my wife would take the bull by the horns and get something for me. Pain can cloud judgement and weaken the spirit. Take charge.

Please keep us all informed. I am like Barry, I don't really know much about the late stages. But I really want to know more and will offer anything I can to make your fathers journey easier. You are in our prayers and I will see that the prayer chain starts from here.

Be at peace,

Walt (war Eagle)

Age: 54
PSA 43 7/2005
Biopsy 12/14 Gleason 7 & 9
Divinci 9/2005 - spread to bladder
HT - 10/2005 (Eligard every 6 months)
RT - 10/2005 (38 treatments)
PSA 0.12 to 1.9 2/2007
Bone Scan and CT 4/2007
Casodex 4/2007
Spread to Spine (L4 & T5), rib, and pelvis
Zometa infusions 4/2007
PSA 4.9 8/2007
PSA 4.9 9/2007
"I will persist without exception - I will find a way where there is no way"

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 10/4/2007 8:39 AM (GMT -6)   


for all of you wonderful people who have responded....thank you

you're words are so heartfelt & i accept them with gratitude

i took your advice, and asked my dad to please call the palliative doctor, and he did...she will be dropping by today!   -  all of my thanks, Kathy



"Is there a school where Perseverance teaches classes?  I want to meet him face to face and see what he looks like.  I have heard so much about him.  It is not that I want his feedback.  I am sure he would tell me to "keep working", and I already know that. It is not just me either.  Offhand, I can name at least three friends who are as curious as I am.  One is a scholar, one is a writer, and the third is a young parent.  I would write Perseverance a letter inviting him to come here and teach at the neighbourhood school, but no one around here knows where he lives or how to find him.

I read somwhere that they were trying to hire him to co-host a PBS series on the creative process, but he would not have it...says he is shy in front of cameras. Truth is, he turns down all offers which distract him from his work."

(J. Ruth Gendler)

Post Edited (sophieluv) : 10/4/2007 7:47:54 AM (GMT-6)

Michael's Wife
Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 150
   Posted 10/4/2007 5:28 PM (GMT -6)   
I'd like to also echo the comments about hospice care. It really helped with my own dad in his last days, and made things easier for the whole family.

Husband Age: 58
Stage: T1c
Gleason: 6 (3+3)
PSA: 4.4
Biopsy: 12 samples, Adenocarcinoma involving 3 cores, right side only (95%, 90%, 30%, discontinuously)
Pre-op prostate study - Scheduled for November 13
Brachytherapy - Second week in December 2007
Hoping for a cancer-free Christmas

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1219
   Posted 10/4/2007 6:21 PM (GMT -6)   

What a wonderful family you are a part of. I'm so sorry to hear that your dad is suffering...the fact that he acted on your plea shows he does need the help.

To be face to face with the pain and suffering this horrible disease can bring...that's where we all fear to be. The brave men here have been through surgery, radiation, hormone therapy, chemotherapy...but how to go through what your dad is experiencing well, this is something we don't know how to do.

We do know how to give you support and encouragement. I wish it were more.

I'm really glad you came here...be assured that you & your family will be on many minds tonight and these same people will be checking on you, so please come back.

God Bless,
Husband Diagnosed 11/17/05 Age: 63 No Symptoms
PSA: 7.96, Positive DRE
Biopsy Right: 6 of 6 Cores Positive Biopsy Left: 1 of 6 Cores Positive
Gleason: 4+3 = 7 Stage: T2B N0 MX
3 mo. PSA Post LRP Surgery: 11.8, 12.9, 13.9 Bone scan, CT scan, Endorectal MRI, Chest XR - neg.
09/06/06: 6 mo. PSA: 18.8 Distant lymph node involvement Start HT Lupron 3 mo. shots
12/06/06: PSA 0.8
03/07/07: PSA 0.3
06/06/07: PSA 0.1
09/05/07: PSA 0.1

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 102
   Posted 10/4/2007 7:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Kathy: My heart really goes out to you and your beloved husband.  I will keep both of you in my prayers.
51 Year Old DBA by profession; amateur pianist by passion.
June 2006:  PSA 4.6.  DRE prostate enlarged.  
Aug  2006:  Second opinion confirms first.  Biopsy suggested.
Sep  2006:  Biopsy results positive one lobe.  Gleason 3+3.
Nov  2006:  RPA performed at Fletcher Allen in Burlington VT.
Nov  2006:  Pathology report: Stage T3a and Gleason 3+4.
Dec  2006:  PSA 0.1
Feb  2007:  PSA 0.0 (under 0.1)
May 2007:  PSA 0.0 (under 0.1)

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 2542
   Posted 10/4/2007 10:03 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi ~ Kathy & Loved Ones...


Our thoughts and prayers surround you and your loved ones… And we send our strength to your dad. 

Hospice was called in for a neighbor and they were able to ease his pain and give the family guidance… please make the call!!!


There are complications with late stage prostate cancer and Hospice will be able to make you aware of them and work with you.  Again ~ make the call....


Partial excerpts from:

“Dr. Patrick Walsh’s Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer”…(Give Yourself a Second Opinion) Copyright 2001  

You have a right to demand everything possible—medication or a procedure to ease pain or symptoms .... —to make your life better.

…patients themselves didn’t ask for adequate pain medication.

…The bottom line is that you—or a loved one with prostate cancer—do not need to suffer terrible pain.  There is help available. Take it.


Our thoughts and prayers reach out to you and we feel your fear…  Please ~ continue to reach out ... you have a wonderful support team here... with all of us!!!

Keeping you extra close at this time!!


Know We Care ~ In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy

mama bluebird - Lee & Buddy… from North Carolina


v          We invite you to visit our personal thread:  Click Here:  “Our Journey” ~ Sharing is Caring 

April 3, 2006  53 on surgery day

RRP / Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy

PSA 4.6   Gleason  3+3=6    T2a   Confined to Prostate

3rd PSA 08-07-2007 Less than 0.1 Non-Detectable :)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 1732
   Posted 10/4/2007 10:17 PM (GMT -6)   

We'll be thinking of your father and your family during this time.

Suppositories for nausea are very useful. Perhaps ask for them if he isn't already using them. Oramorph is also helpful and can be used as often as he needs it. I do hope for peace and comfort for your father.
Know our prayers are with you all.

God Bless, Swim

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 883
   Posted 10/5/2007 6:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry to hear about your father.
You will be in our thoughts and prayers.

    PSA 5.7 - Discovered during Annual Physical with Family Practice Dr.
    Gleason 7
    Biopsy - 3 of 12 positive (up to 75%) all on left side of prostate
    RRP on Oct. 17, 2006 - Nerves on right side saved.
    All Lab's clear.  No Cancer outside prostate
    Cathiter in for 3 weeks due to complications in healing. Removed Nov. 9, 2006
    First Post op PSA on Dec. 11, 2006  Undetectable 0.00
    Office visit on Jan. 19th due to continued excessive urine leakage.
    Feb.20th Cystoscope and 2nd Post Op PSA. Another 0.00.....:)
    Dr. said everything looks fine.  Continue to work Kegeal's. Leaking appears to have improved  after Cystoscope?!?!?!  Down to 3-4 pads per day!
    March 1st  Leaking has crept back up to 6 - 8 pads a day ??????? 
    March 8th Started Detrol LA to see if it helps with the leaking?
    March 29th Collagen injection into sphincter / bladder neck area to control excessive leaking.  Worked for a couple of days then back to leaking.
    April 17th (Six Months Post Op) 2nd Collagen Injection to control excessive leaking.  Leaking started back next day at work!
    May 14th Second Opinion about my leaking and Options at OU Medical Center.  After reviewing my records the Dr. feels I will probably need some surgical intervention to stop my leaking.  But did agree to try Bio-Feedback and work hard on the Kegeal's first!
    May 30th Follow up with my Dr. and 3rd Post Op PSA 0.00 agian!!!
    June 1st Start Bio-Feedback to try to control my leaking.

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 120
   Posted 10/8/2007 10:02 PM (GMT -6)   
All of us here are familar with pain, but few if any of us have any idea of what you are going through. You will be an inspiration to those who travel that road in the future. Keep a positive attitude and may God Bless you for being an example to many. Uncle Dan
Age 67
No symptoms, DRE negative
10 - 06 PSA 5.44, 01 - 07 PSA 6.47
5 - 07 CT and Bone scans negative
05 - 07 Biopsies, 2 of 6 positive
Gleason Score (3+4) 7 Stage T1c
08 - 14 Dr. Dasari - Baptist Hospital, Nashville
da Vinci RAP, five hours surgery
Some right nerve and all left nerve removed,
Hospital discharged 8 - 16
Pathology report Negative margins
Encapsulated, 50% left side
Lymph nodes 2 R & 1 L - Negative
R & L seminal vesicles - Negative
Gleason changed (4+3) 7 closer to 8 than 6
9 - 26 Great PSA 0.000
9 - 27 Starting on meds for ED
9 - 30 Dry, 2nd day without pad
Viagra no help yet

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