Just rushing off now to work, so not quite clear on what I want to say! But mainly, the reason I worried pre-op was that I thought CJ would "loose his personality" (similar to what you explain as "spark"). When this actually DID happen about 10 weeks post op, I sunk a little low. The good news however is that he (CJ) is now coming out of it now (6 months), so maybe once you tackle this problem with a good doc, things will lift?
They both do sound alike!! The main thing with CJ is his humour, incrediblely quick wit, and that fact that he can always, always make me laugh (while no one else can). Recently, this has come back but we are quite new in our marriage, and not sufferring the other sad losses you are. It could be another chance and step on your road together perhaps, not necessarily another loss? I think the recovery post operatively takes time on all levels. Lots of time.
The counsellor idea sounds great. There are not too many people who have the courage to seek out a good counsellor, and if you have found one you can completely relate to and trust, that's quite rare. Go for it if it will help! Loss is a slow and painful process bec - my prayers are with you. May the love & peace of God bring you all comfort. Lana
Creed_three (Lana & CJ)
Husband CJ aged 49 yrs.
First PSA 3.5 (Nov 06). 1 x (5%) core of 12 positive at biopsy. 11 cores negative. Open Radical Prostatectomy with nerve sparing, on Tuesday 17th April 2007 (Sydney, Australia). Gleeson 3 + 4 = 7. Cancer confined to prostate. Margins all clear, including bladder neck and seminal vessicles.
1st PSA 0.01 - undetectable (June 07)
2nd PSA 0.02 - undetectable (Oct 07)