I too have been given the dreaded news that what I have cannot be cured. It's like being hit by a bus. But it is important that both of you understand that the only time that matters is right now. Your time together. Spend it in love, not worrying about how much is left. That day may never come. Faith and prayers have been my wife and my staple. We thrive on each other. You can do the same. Cherrish each and every day. I will add you both to our prayer chain. God will not give you a burden to heavy for you to carry. Have faith that your husband will be healed. Fight the battle together. You have to fight the depression, I have been there. It's like a bubble that surrounds you and no feelings can get in or out. Only your love for your husband can break this bubble. Everyone here loves you both and will all we can to help.
I get a Zometa infusion every month. They start my IV in the forearm. No pain. I have had it started in the back of the hand and did have some minor pain with that. See if thay can change the location. Some nurses just feel more comfortable starting IV's in places that they have the most success. I know this, I live with one.
Susan is right about the battles that take place in the mind. They do no good. Trust what you are doing or find alternate options, but when you make your decisions, trust them. There are so many treatment options that you can't try them all.
You are in our prayers,