husband had a hard week

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Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 67
   Posted 11/4/2007 5:07 PM (GMT -6)   
hi everyone: as per my last post rob's psa had risen to 80 and he was in a fair amount of pain for the past week. it has finally subsided to nothing or at the most not even a level of 1. dr. said that the pain starting again was because his psa had started rising again. does anyone know if now that his pain is mostly and sometimes all gone his new meds. Cyproterone Acetate would be working. if his psa was still rising would his pain still automatically be bad or is it possible for the psa to still rise and the pain be gone?  The last few days we have argued a lot because i want him to keep taking the full doses of extra supplements ie: Magnosteen that i have left from when i purchased these bottles before i was let go at work and he is cutting back to make it stretch further. He isn't eating as much greens or drinking as much soy milk as before. He keeps fighting about this stuff. He was depressed this last week, understandably with the pain he was in, but it is hard to get him out of this and i know how cancer feeds off this stuff. I feel like all we have done lately is fight, with me nagging him constantly about taking his supplements and eating better. He's skipped breakfasts some days. He was doing so well with this stuff. I'm back to not sleeping, and up till 2:00a.m. and closing myself in the bathroom to cry. My nightmares of visualizing him gone, a funeral, the loneliness of him not here, the empty house, and just plain negative thoughts are back and i'm having a more difficult time staying positive and hopefull. i read another site where one person said that with advanced pc the person and their partner have to accept the fact that he will die from this disease. This sure didn't help. I know that there is a chance it might do this, but to hear this so cut and dried was hard. here everyone of you has always given hope. I'm sure some of you have gone through this. If anybody has any advice of how to help rob get his positive and fighting attitude back i sure could use it. The other thing i find lately is that he seems to resent me if i need to go to town myself for an hour. this is a new thing. he is very clingy and it's  hard to even be in another room doing something without his wanting me to stop and stay in the same room as him. is this normal and could it just be the hormones. Last question, since his loss of muscle he has more bumps and lumps than noticed before. He has alwas had these but without muscle tone they are more noticable. He's already had one biopsy for a lump on his back which turned out to be just fatty tissue. Last week he woke up in the night panicking because he felt 2 lumps on the outer part of his chest near the bottom of the breast area. At that time they hurt when he pressed on them, but than his whole back was hurting. now that his pain has subsided, when he presses they don't hurt and he thinks that they are smaller. he is convinced that he now has breast cancer too. Does anyone have any info on this so i can ease his mind if he is worrying needlessly. I did say last question didn't I, but is Dr. Snuffy Myer's  book on Beating Prostate Cancer available in Canada? thanks to all of you and you all continue to be in my prayers. you are a great bunch of people.  lifeline

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 11/4/2007 5:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear lifeline, I am so very sorry your husband is having to go through all this. I'm afraid I have no informatino to help you. Just wanted you to know that both of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

60 years old
Dx March 2007
Pre-Surgery Gleason 3+3 = 6
Clinical Stage: T1c
Biopsy: 1 in 10 positive
Da Vinci: June 7, 2007 
Post-Surgery Gleason 3+3 = 6
   Clear at margins
First Post-PSA Sept 07 = <.01 (Hooray!!)

Tony Crispino
Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 8128
   Posted 11/4/2007 5:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi lifeline,
The link below will get you the book. They do charge 10.00 for delivery to Canada but they will get it to you.

Age 45 (44 when Dx)
Pre-op PSA was 19.8
Surgery on Feb 16, 2007
Post-Op Pathology was poor: Gleason 4+3=7, 4 positive margins, Stage pT3b (Stage III)
HT began in May, '07 with Lupron and Casodex 50mg
IMRT radiation for 38 Treatments ending August 3, '07
My PSA did drop out after surgery to undetectable.  It has not returned and I will continue HT until January '08.
My Life is supported very well by family and friends like you all.

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 234
   Posted 11/4/2007 7:57 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Lifeline

I am so sorry to hear what you and your hubby are dealing with, its all so scary. I can't offer any advice except take care of yourself as well. I think those times when we get so frustrated with our men and we let our tears flow in the shower are helpful. I will say an extra prayer for you both.

Best wishes


Rick & Diana
6-30-06  PSA 2.54
1-22-07  PSA 4.98
1-26-07  PSA 5.09
Diag: 2-14-07 Gleason 8 Stage T1c PSA 5.09
Bone Scan 3-1-07 Clear
3-6-07 Triple Spinal Fusion (due to old back injury)
Radical retropubic surgery 4-2-07  Post surgery Gleason 9 Stage T3a Positive margins
4-29-07 PSA 0.02
6-9-07   PSA 0.02
7-6-07   PSA 0.03
8-1-07   CT Scan & Chest X-Ray   Clean
 9-26-2007 PSA 0.07
11/1/07 PSA 0.1

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 60
   Posted 11/4/2007 8:13 PM (GMT -6)   
I can offer you my prayers, and tell you that having a loved one by your side is a tremendous blessing.  I know, as I am blessed as your husband is with a loving wife.  You may not realize how important that is to your husband, but sometimes just knowing you are there, even when he is grouchy, is an unbelievable blessing and comfort.  We guys have a hard time showing we appreciate you sometimes, but we do.  You are doing your husband tremendous good just by being there, and letting him know you ARE there.
Take it from someone who has been a grouch during trying times.
Age: 57 (49 when diagnosed)
PSA 100+ 3/1999
Biopsy -positive, both nodes 03/1999
Bone Scan and CAT scan negative 4/1999
Radical prostatectomy and bladder neck removed 04/19/1999
HT - 05/1999 (Lupron every 3 months for 9 months)
RT - 6/1999
PSA 0.0-0.2 until 2001
Casodex 150mg 2001 until 2006
Casodex 100mg 2006-present
PSA 0.4-0.6 2001-2007

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1219
   Posted 11/4/2007 8:55 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm so sorry to hear your husband & you have are having such a hard time of it. Under the circumstances, it's both are going through a most stressful time with little light at the end of the tunnel.
I have a site for you to check out. You can cut and paste this site address:
They have so much information that could be helpful to you. If you want to talk to someone there is a phone number for a helpline at the bottom of the page. I sent for "Advanced Prostate Cancer Handbook" and it helped me to come to an understanding about some things...what I can change and what I can't. I hope the same for you.

I sincerely wish we (all of us here) could help you both in some way. Please know we're here for you. If your husband changes his mind about getting on line there are so many wonderful men here who would consider it a blessing to try to help him in some way.

Thinking of you,
Husband Diagnosed 11/17/05 Age: 63 No Symptoms
PSA: 7.96, Positive DRE
Biopsy Right: 6 of 6 Cores Positive Biopsy Left: 1 of 6 Cores Positive
Gleason: 4+3 = 7 Stage: T2B N0 MX
3 mo. PSA Post LRP Surgery: 11.8, 12.9, 13.9 Bone scan, CT scan, Endorectal MRI, Chest XR - neg.
09/06/06: 6 mo. PSA: 18.8 Distant lymph node involvement Start HT Lupron 3 mo. shots
12/06/06: PSA 0.8
03/07/07: PSA 0.3
06/06/07: PSA 0.1
09/05/07: PSA 0.1

M. Kat
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 715
   Posted 11/5/2007 6:57 AM (GMT -6)   
lifeline, I'm sorry that I don't have any answers for you. there were several people here who were in advanced stages of PC but I can't remember who they were. Bluebird might be able to help once she gets back from their trip. I think your husband is clingy, grouchy, etc because he is afraid and doesn't know how to just say that. All you can do is control your attitude and hope that some of it rubs off on him. I'll keep the two of you in my prayers. kat
Husband Jeff 56 years old diagnosed July 27, 2006
PSA 6.5, 2 positive areas in biopsy, Gleason 3+3=6
Radical Retropubic Prostatectomy August 30, 2006
pathology report - all clear - cancer gone
1st post-surgery PSA test <0.1, 2nd post-surgery PSA test <0.1, 3rd PSA <0.1
no more pads Oct 12, 2006
first "real" erection with use of pump 12/16/06
3/07 - occasional dribbles and erections with Cialis and pump
8/07 - 1 yr PSA <0.1
9/1/07 - achieved erection with Viagra - no pump!

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 67
   Posted 11/7/2007 3:17 PM (GMT -6)   
thanks to all of you for your words of encouragement. rob's pain has pretty much totally subsided though he's still somewhat depressed and worried, (understandably) especially about the bumps under his breast. he has also been coughing for the last couple of weeks. at times it sounds like a cold with his head congested, but now he says that when he coughs it feels like his left lung hurts. he has a cat scan next week and we teleconference with our oncologist the week after. he is now worried that it has spread to his lungs. what we normally look at as the possibility of just being a bug that he caught, we now seem to suspect the cancer. funny how we tend to do that. how do you know when something happens like a pain or cough if it's just that, a pain or cough without always assumeing the worst? are we the only ones who do that? can anyone tell me if there would be any particular sympton besides a cough if the cancer had spread to his lungs and would hurting be one of them? i hope everyone is doing well. thanks for everything you all have done to keep our spirits and hope up. you are all in my prayers. thanks myman for the web site you gave me. i'll check it out today. your friend, lifeline
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